I hate my health visitor - rant

bigmomma051204

HVs on the other hand turn out to be far worse than what i expect generally...which is very little as again, their written/phone manner leaves a lot to be desired :cool:

bigmomma051204

Re the baby massage - contact your local childrens centre... they run baby massage/yoga very often and are not "in league" with HVs (despite what people often think!!)

Lozzy88

meritaten wrote: »

baby massage is lovely -

my third son was a live wire - and the only thing that calmed him was a foot massage - he loved it - it sent him to sleep!

I always wanted to do baby massage but no body bothers with buger all in my area.

I have always rubbed my childrens feet and like you say meritaten it does relax them and helps them sleep, I have the most tickly feet ever, I mean they can't be touched by anyone, not that anyone would want to touch them like , I blame my mother for my tickly feet for never having time to rub them :rotfl: my sisters think am weird but it works.

meritaten

Personally I cannot stand my feet being touched!
my youngest loved it! my oldest son was a bit colicky and nan suggested that I rubbed his back while holding him face down over my knees. it really did help him (tho he did throw up a few times), you don't really need classes IMHO - just rub gently over the back or feet or where ever you think they would like - baby will let you know if they don't like it! and if they do!

pigpen

meritaten wrote: »

sorry - I cannot resist saying this - ask mum or grandma for advice before asking HV! its not that we have brought up kids - but in most cases we have had the time to reflect and realise where WE went wrong! and its our mistakes we would want to prevent the next generation from making!

Sadly that isn't always possible. In many cases the grandmothers are no longer alive and mothers may live the other side of the country or even the world. I feel priveleged to be able to help my daughter but my sons partner, her mum died on mothers day last year when she was 4 months pregnant.. she has to make do with me too. Apparently she has discussed her periods and bowels more with me than she ever did her own mum.. so there are the element that don't have such an open relationship with their daughters..

Thus the popularity for parenting forums I guess.

MoneySavingMamma

I've never got on well with HVs, first baby I think I was on a red flag list as i was under 20, and lived in a council flat while pregnant. (Although we had our own home once baby was born) they came alot, I found them really annoying, and any questions i had i was told, 'hmm, yes, you should see the dr about that, see what they say'
So i might as well have spent my time going to the dr!
Very patronising, and just annoying!

With 2nd, i only got visited once, (funny what a nice detached house does to things!) and i got invited to a 1yr check, i went and i was told off for letting him have a bottle in the morning & a milk feed in the day.
Was i keeping him a baby because i need him to be my baby still?! !!!!!!?!
Bog off! He's happy, i'm happy. He gets distressed without that afternoon feed!
I laughed it off, and i wont be going back!

moneypenny21

I had heard bad things about HVs but was prepared to give them a chance.

I actually feel like my HV wants me to have PND its all she talks about! She gave me a pre-natal leaflet on breastfeeding which the first page said bottle fed babies are more likely to get cancer (amongst other things!) - NOT HELPFUL! My Doctor friend was horrified when I showed it to her! The HV probes about "how hard it is being a mother" and says things like "it must have been quite distressing seeing your baby have the heel !!!!! test?" - to which I always appear flummoxed - do I say yes I was upset that someone jabbed a needle into my baby and look like I'm falling apart or do I say no it didn't bother me as it was for a specific medical reason and look like I don't care (it was the latter - it didn't bother me at all!). I always feel like conversations are a test and shes trying to catch me out.

When I've asked her about things I'm concerned about (wind, reflux etc.) she always ends with "if you are concerned see your GP" - so what are you doing in my house?! I actually did need some breastfeeding support so was "referred" and felt like the BF people interrogated me about the "tough time I'd had giving birth" (may look rough on paper, I don't feel it was at all, I think it was ace!) - so actually I just don't bother with the "support" networks as I'm absolutely terrified of saying the wrong thing.

The HV at the weighing clinic is even worse! Asked her what the white spots were on my babies gum (having been to Dr Google earlier in the day), she diagnosed thrush - I said it was hard like a tooth, she said it was thrush, I insisted it is hard like a tooth to which she replied "well I don't know what it is then" (it's a ruddy tooth!).

I'm convinced they just weigh babies and like doing paperwork but still we smile and say all the right things to make them leave us alone! :rotfl:

Mrs_Imp

Am I bucking the trend here by saying that my HV is lovely? She came round on a bad day (2 crying children and a crying me - colic, bump on the head, and mastitis) and was lovely and helpful. She even offered to make me lunch. She passed no judgement and was full of helpful suggestions. She's phoned twice since then, just to make sure I'm ok.

janninew

After reading through this thread I feel very lucky that my HV is wonderful! After having a very prem, poorly baby she has been a wonderful support. After my baby was discharged from Neo-Natal my HV would come out to my house every week to do the weight check and have a chat with me. My baby was on oxygen so getting about to begin with was very difficult, plus I was trying to stay away from other babies/young children and their germs!

I think part of the problem is HV's seem to have a such a bad reputation that new Mums are *almost* expected to find them unhelpful, patronising etc! This certainly seemed to be my experience when I was pregnant and discussing HV's with other pregnant ladies.

As for HV's having their own children, for some aspects (breastfeeding or weaning as examples) it must be helpful for them to have experienced first hand the problems, pain etc. You can read all the books you want on some subjects, but first hand experience can count for an awful lot. When I was struggling to get the hand of breastfeeding a 2lb baby, the Nurses on the Neo-Natal who had breastfed their own children gave the best advice on techniques and what is normal.