15 year old son trading goods at cex

System

You know its a parental right to use the phrase 'I'm not angry with you, just disappointed with you'

Will cut to his heart like anything!!!

Very true.

When i was growing up i was generally well behaved but although my Mom was sharp with her words and quick tempered i was more upset that if i did anything wrong it would upset my Dad.... My Mom would rant and rave for hours but my Dad didnt and i was more bothered about letting my Dad down than anything else.

DylanO

Carl31 wrote: »

What! lol, dont be so OTT

hes a teenager, the problem is independance. Money allows you to do things, adult things, things that his friends are doing. There will be friends that always seem to have money, and hence are always able to buy the latest things and have what they want. I imagine its partially peer pressure, partially learning to stand on his own to feet, and partially being indescisive about what he wants and has.

All kids want what they cant have, teenagers however are old enough to go off alone and obtain it. A part time job would help, most kids had paper rounds when i was younger, they dont have those now which is a shame

Or it could be to do with his apparent scratchcard 'problem'.

You may do what you wish with your children, but I wouldn't accept stealing from mine, and I would get to the root of the issue as well as punishing them. You are perfectly at liberty to consider such actions as OTT - I do not.

sweetpeas_2

Hi Lou,

Didn't want to post and run.. sorry you're having a bad time at the min.

I just also wanted to agree with the above comments re telling DS you're dissapointed with him. As Judi says as well - my Mum too used to rant for hours but when my Dad came home from his shift (always seamt to be a Saturday when he'd been working overtime and I'd been playing my Mum up all day )I used to feel so so ashamed when he gave me 'the look'. Man of few words when we were in bother, but just a look from him and we used to hang our heads in shame.

He definately needs to know what he's put you through and made you feel.

Mupette

springdreams wrote: »

I appreciate that your son needs to be punished for what he has done.

However, for him to miss Saturday training but get to play the Sunday matches is unfair to the other kids. The game should be the reward for doing the training. What motivation is there for sticking with the Saturday training if he gets to play the match even if he doesn't train :cool:

I think letting him do the training, but miss the matches is a better punishment. The match is the reward, not the training.

Just my 2p ..

louhel wrote: »

The saturday is a fun thing, the Sunday is as part of a proper team thats why I made that decision.

I see your point though.

Something to think about ...

But for him to loose the saturday one, show's him the impact of his dishonesty and how it effects others, not just him, that might knock him into touch.

Sometimes if you say to a child that they have let you down, its still not such a big thing, but if they can see that their actions has let others down too, then the shame sets in.

Spirit_2

louhel wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice/comments.


The ipod is locked away, dont know if I could actually go through selling it.


Thanks again.

When my daughter was the same age as your son in response to an unacceptable action on her part I destroyed her mobile phone. It was something of great value to her, it was a conscious decision on my part (although i did feel wobbly about the cost/waste)....it worked as a response for us.

My DD made the connection between cause and effect, consequences of her choice of action and understood the feeling of being permanently deliberately deprived of something you value.

Tough love is hard.

merlot123

DylanO wrote: »

I also feel that you need to drag him down to his GP and have him booked in for counselling to get to the root of the issue. If you don't come down hard on him and show him that there are serious consequences for his actions, then you'll end up with a 35-year-old son in prison.

For goodness sake GP's are busy, your advice is OTT. This family board can not have a discussion without someone mentioning going to the GP for counselling or depression.