When is a teenager old enough to go on the train alone?

daisiegg

mico62 wrote: »

It depends on the child but it doesn't do them any favours to chauffeur and escort them everywhere as I found out.

DS had a taster day at 6th form, its 5 miles away so they run a bus service. He got to the bus stop on time and met 3 others but none of them knew they had to stick their hand out for the bus to stop :rotfl: and had to phone-a-mum for a lift. None of them had ever been on a bus.

But DD, a young looking 16, has regularly travelled up and down the country to conventions for the last 18 months. If she's not meeting someone on the train and has to change trains she'll text when she arrives at the first station and phones when she's on the connecting train and when she arrives.

She regularly travels to Newcastle and Birmingham and she's got the National Rail app on her phone in case there's a problem - I didn't know such a thing existed til she showed me.

Both have been brought up the same but have completely different personalities and coping skills. DS might be 'smarter' but he's certainly not streetwise.

My sister was like that - until she went to university (and even, really, in her first and possibly second years at uni) she never went on buses or trains. I remember once about a year ago when she got really upset and had a big panic because she was home for the weekend and there was a replacement bus service part of the way back to uni. It literally meant getting off the train at one station, getting onto a clearly marked bus and being taken to her destination station. She was so worried at the prospect of doing that that my grandparents ended up driving her anyway. She is much better now though with routes she knows, but would still worry about a new journey (she's 22...).

My brother, on the other hand, is 17 and he walks/cycles/gets the bus everywhere. He has a job that is a bus ride/30 min walk/15 min cycle away, his girlfriend lives two bus rides away, and he is very independent. My sister also had a job when she was at school but she used to get driven there and back by my mum (admittedly there was no bus but it was an easy cycle distance...she was doing very physical work so claimed to be too tired to cycle but really she was too scared!)

Taadaa

HappyMJ wrote: »

What's different? As far as I am aware the world is the same. We now have media that tells us everything and now holds debates on all these issues but they have existed all the time. I knew about stranger danger when travelling alone. The travel companies that I travelled with knew about it and would have someone either check hourly that everything was OK or guide you to the right location at each end of the journey. The train was the safest as it was point to point the conductor walked up and down the train regularly. The airline was difficult as you could easily get lost waiting around in departures or arrivals alone and the bus was terrible due to the compulsory driver stops every few hours when everyone could get off and wander around in the middle of the night.

I was talking about the world in general, not public transport in particular. And it's our perception of the world in general that informs how we chose to protect our children and the level of freedom we give them. And the world IS a different place to what it was thirty years ago.

Owain_Moneysaver

FatVonD wrote: »

You make me , fluffnutter!

You're absolutely right of course but my DS has to start travelling to college by train one day per week soon and I can imagine him doing at least some of those things :eek: He's never been there before so we're going to have a trial run because his destination station does have a really odd platform layout for the return journey (I know this because I accidentally got on the wrong/fast train the other night and ended up there :rotfl: )

Then he needs to know that if he gets on the wrong train he has to find the conductor, get his ticket endorsed for having overtravelled to allow him to travel back without extra payment, and get the train times for his journey back to where he should be.

Spendless

Yes I do think it's old enough, but my SIL in the same position slightly longer train distance, Gloucestershire to Yorkshire, but staight thru train with a couple of stops, refused to let her dd do it until she was 17. What about a compromise suggestion of as soon as she's 16 or has finshed her last GCSE exam, whichever comes first?

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

Rookie mistake with the quote button. Sorry. See next post.

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

Taadaa wrote: »

I was talking about the world in general, not public transport in particular. And it's our perception of the world in general that informs how we chose to protect our children and the level of freedom we give them. And the world IS a different place to what it was thirty years ago.

Yes, the world is different but no less safe. Like a generation ago, the biggest threat to children are their own parents and traffic.

hardpressed

The only time I've felt slightly uncomfortable travelling by train was in a 1st class carriage. Got a good deal for weekend travel but I was the only person in the two 1st class carriages and felt vunerable when men walked through and I was 60 at the time, daft but there it is. Much rather be where there are other people around.

notakid

I'm glad I've seen this thread its made me feel a whole lot better. My daughter has a boyfriend in Southampton, we live in Brum until she was 16 I'd travel down with her go and do my own thing for a few hours and then met up with her for the journey home.

I promised her when she turned 16 she could go on her own. She knows the route. The first time she tried by herself a train broke down and she had to come home.

I'm like Jo Jo's daughter I could get lost going to the corner shop. I have no sense of direction and once after a day trip to York took my children to London instead of back to Brum.

Both children are much more sensible it seems.:o

jamespir

i went on trains by myself at 12 hes 15 you have to start treating him like an adult

Newly_retired

My kids regularly travelled by themselves on the train between parents at an early age ( 9+) quite safely. The worst that ever happened was when young son fell asleep and therefore failed to get off at the right station. He woke up well on his way to London, the next stop.
Having not turned up at the right station, the other parent of course activated the train people and a watch was kept, son was duly taken off at London and put on the next return train.
No harm done and full marks to the train staff.
If the OP's girl is regularly clubbing and using late night buses in Manchester she is certainly independent enough to make the journey to London by herself. There is obviously an agenda here