When is a teenager old enough to go on the train alone?

fluffnutter

daisiegg wrote: »

I suppose because it's him that ended the relationship (although the relationship wasn't working for ages and really, would never have been a long-term relationship in the first place if they hadn't fallen pregnant) and also him that decided to move down south for work so I think he's always felt guilty and that he has to do all the running around. I don't think he realises how unusual what he does is.

Yeah, I get all that. But that was over five years ago. Life moves on.

Your best bet is to work on the daughter. If it comes across as her idea, and her growing need for independence, then it would be churlish and unreasonable for her mother to continue forbidding it just to make things difficult for your fiance.

FatVonD

daisiegg wrote: »

He'd do the 8 hour round trip to pick her up!

Hmmm, make it for a weekend he wouldn't normally be seeing her and say she could come but only if she made her own way down as he had other commitments that weekend that prevented him coming to get her?

daisiegg

FatVonD wrote: »

Hmmm, make it for a weekend he wouldn't normally be seeing her and say she could come but only if she made her own way down as he had other commitments that weekend that prevented him coming to get her?

This has happened before (with gigs in London, as you suggest) and he'll switch the weekends to accommodate her. Once he cancelled (but rebooked for a different time later) a weekend away the two of us had planned so he could switch the weekends and she could go and see a band in London.

lovesabargain123

Perhaps offer for her and a friend to come and stay with you for a week over the Easter holidays? My dd did this last year with her bf to stay with the grandparents. They had about a 6hour train journey and 2 changes each way, they were both 151/2 and had a whale of a time .
At least with the friend coming to it may reassure the mother that she's not alone??

Edited to say bf stands for best friend NOT boyfriend haha

daisiegg

lovesabargain123 wrote: »

Perhaps offer for her and a friend to come and stay with you for a week over the Easter holidays? My dd did this last year with her bf to stay with the grandparents. They had about a 6hour train journey and 2 changes each way, they were both 151/2 and had a whale of a time .
At least with the friend coming to it may reassure the mother that she's not alone??

Edited to say bf stands for best friend NOT boyfriend haha

Thanks, I think this is the way to go. She has a boyfriend who is older than her and they were meant to come down over half term, but it didn't work in the end. It should definitely happen over Easter (we have enough bedrooms for them to be kept very separate btw!) Maybe after that when she's done it once without an adult it will be a bit better.

cyclingyorkie

daisiegg wrote: »

Ok, I just wanted to get some outside opinions to kind of help me decide whether it's worth me pushing an issue or not.

Do you think a 15 and a half year old is old enough to travel on a train from Manchester to London on their own, if they are put on by a parent at one end and met by a parent at the other, and have an assigned seat in a first class carriage? The train only stops once along the way.

Said teenager regularly uses public transport in and out of Manchester including going to gigs late at night with no adult supervision, riding buses at midnight (which I personally would NOT let a 15 yr old do!) etc, and has done the Manchester-London journey multiple times before with an adult.

It all depends on the teenager!

But my eldest would ride from York to London (put on by me, met by friend's mum) and coped very well at 14!
She even coped when said friend's mum was delayed on the tube and she had to wait on her own at Kings Cross!

Sounds like yours would be fine - what is their attitude to it?

faerie~spangles

The daughter has a boyfriend who is older?

so it is possible that she is already behaving like an adult (if you know what i mean)

I'm actually gobsmacked that her mother is claiming she's too young to travel alone.

In six months or less she and the b/f could go off and get married without the parent's permission.

Is it just me that thinks if the daughter is too young to travel alone then she's way to young to have a b/f?

daisiegg

faerie~spangles wrote: »

The daughter has a boyfriend who is older?

so it is possible that she is already behaving like an adult (if you know what i mean)

I'm actually gobsmacked that her mother is claiming she's too young to travel alone.

In six months or less she and the b/f could go off and get married without the parent's permission.

Is it just me that thinks if the daughter is too young to travel alone then she's way to young to have a b/f?

The b/f is 17 and the mother lets him stay with them overnight....sleeping arrangements slightly hazy when we ask, but I know they don't have a spare room...hopefully on the sofa?!..... See what I mean about how refusing to let her travel is to do with making life difficult for my OH, rather than anything else?

barbarawright

I did that sort of thing when I was 13 (both long distance train and coach, met at the other end). When I was 16 I was going to university interviews by train and having to find my way at the other end. I genuinely don't see a problem (and, had mobiles been around in the 70s, I would have found regular check-ups from my mum extramely annoying). I'm sure the kid will have a great time travelling on her own - packed lunch, some books and magazine, iPod, trips to the buffet for crisps. They'll be fine and you can't exactly miss London.

nearlyrich

A friend of mine has been with a guy almost 10 years they live together in a house they have bought together but she has never met his children who live with Mum (his Ex) a good 4 hour drive each way. He goes every weekend and stays in the family home for at least one night. I am not convinced the kids know their Dad and Mum are divorced maybe they think he works away during the week? Nor saying that is the case with OP but there are some very strange things going on in the world of separated parents and not all of them are good for the children....

As for the original question the girl is definitely old enough to do a very safe journey I let my son go to Glasgow on his own on a train, being met at the other end before kids had mobiles and he was 13 the first time. You have to let them go a bit at a time but the OP knows this, the Mum could be using the situation to control the Dad or she could be fearful of letting go either way Daisy you should keep your thoughts to yourself now however well meaning, the poor guy is not only exhausted but trying to keep all sides happy? Not easy is it? Good Luck....