When is a teenager old enough to go on the train alone?

HappyMJ

Taadaa wrote: »

I think as he has experience of using public transport on his own, I think this would be fine. My son will be 14 in the summer, and towards the end of the year I am considering allowing him to make a 45 minute journey, being put on and met at the other end as you describe.

On a seperate note, reading people's experiences of what they were allowed to do when they were kids - with respect, we live in a different world now and we aren't going back to those halcyon days any time soon.

What's different? As far as I am aware the world is the same. We now have media that tells us everything and now holds debates on all these issues but they have existed all the time. I knew about stranger danger when travelling alone. The travel companies that I travelled with knew about it and would have someone either check hourly that everything was OK or guide you to the right location at each end of the journey. The train was the safest as it was point to point the conductor walked up and down the train regularly. The airline was difficult as you could easily get lost waiting around in departures or arrivals alone and the bus was terrible due to the compulsory driver stops every few hours when everyone could get off and wander around in the middle of the night.

daisiegg

Thanks everyone. ARGH this thread has now made me even more frustrated

fluffnutter

daisiegg wrote: »

Thanks everyone. ARGH this thread has now made me even more frustrated

So what's going on, daisiegg? Do you have an ex that thinks he or she's too young? If you tell us a bit more, perhaps we can suggest ways of broaching it.

Nicki

HappyMJ wrote: »

What's different? As far as I am aware the world is the same. We now have media that tells us everything and now holds debates on all these issues but they have existed all the time. I knew about stranger danger when travelling alone. The travel companies that I travelled with knew about it and would have someone either check hourly that everything was OK or guide you to the right location at each end of the journey. The train was the safest as it was point to point the conductor walked up and down the train regularly. The airline was difficult as you could easily get lost waiting around in departures or arrivals alone and the bus was terrible due to the compulsory driver stops every few hours when everyone could get off and wander around in the middle of the night.

Thanks HAppyMj. I am not sure how old that poster thinks I am, but I was born well after the Moors Murders which my parents were well aware of, and the papers when I was growing up had as many stories of abductions and attacks as you read these days. I was also in a country where bombings, shootings and travel disruption were a regular fact of life, so in fact a much less halcyon childhood than the average teenager in Manchester.

FatVonD

fluffnutter wrote: »

What do people think is going to happen on a train fgs?! That said teenager falls off it? That they have a mental breakdown and confuse Stockport with London and get off after ten minutes. That they can't read the sign that says 'Euston' and stay on the train wondering why it's not going anywhere? That they get murdered by the driver? Honestly, it's a train, not war-torn Afghanistan.

You make me , fluffnutter!

You're absolutely right of course but my DS has to start travelling to college by train one day per week soon and I can imagine him doing at least some of those things :eek: He's never been there before so we're going to have a trial run because his destination station does have a really odd platform layout for the return journey (I know this because I accidentally got on the wrong/fast train the other night and ended up there :rotfl: )

HappyMJ

daisiegg wrote: »

Thanks everyone. ARGH this thread has now made me even more frustrated

It's your choice at the end of the day. If you do not feel comfortable about it then make your opinion known. You do not have to take the forum opinion as a majority. I'm just saying what I would do. It really depends on the child. Are they mature and sensible? Can they be trusted? Are they confident speaking to unknown people and either telling them either where to go or asking them for help? Normally you would advise don't speak with anyone but speaking to train staff is fine and befriending people in standard is much easier than first class. Tell him/her to try to sit near other families....but you won't get that choice in allocated seating in first class.

CH27

daisiegg wrote: »

Ok, I just wanted to get some outside opinions to kind of help me decide whether it's worth me pushing an issue or not.

Do you think a 15 and a half year old is old enough to travel on a train from Manchester to London on their own, if they are put on by a parent at one end and met by a parent at the other, and have an assigned seat in a first class carriage? The train only stops once along the way.

Said teenager regularly uses public transport in and out of Manchester including going to gigs late at night with no adult supervision, riding buses at midnight (which I personally would NOT let a 15 yr old do!) etc, and has done the Manchester-London journey multiple times before with an adult.

Yes! My son first did it when he was 14 & has done it a few times since.

daisiegg

I'm cautious about posting too much identifiable info but I think buried in a thread like this (i.e. not as the first or title post) it will be ok. It is my fiance's ex that thinks their daughter is too young to do this journey. Although I'm pretty sure she just wants to make life difficult for my OH as she lets their daughter do lots of other stuff that we think is age inappropriate.

They have been split up (never married) for about 8 or 9 years now and for about 5 or 6 of those years OH has lived in London/South East. He moved due to work. In all that time he has had his daughter two weekends a month, every single month, without fail or any deviation whatsoever. The only time he ever missed one is when he'd hurt his back so badly he couldn't get out of bed, and he made up for it by going up two weekends in a row after that.

He gets the train up after work on a Friday night, hires a car, goes and picks daughter up, goes to a hotel where they stay for the weekend, takes her out doing things like museums etc (not just shopping by any means) and then drops her home on a Sunday afternoon and arrives back home at about 8pm. He has done this every other weekend for the past five years and is exhausted. It doesn't help that he also travels a lot for work, and works long hours - including commute he is out of the house for at least 14 hours a day.

I know as the new partner (of over two and a half years) it's not my place to get involved but it just breaks my heart seeing how exhausted he is and how little time he has at home, let alone any 'him' time at ALL, ever (the two weekends a month he is at home - if he actually is at home and doesn't end up working - he feels he has to do gardening, DIY, spending time with me, etc). I know if she could just come down to us even once every three visits, it would make such a difference to him just having an extra weekend in his own bed. She gets on well with me and she comes to stay with us for longer periods in the holidays (with us driving to pick her up, 8 hour round trip) and goes on holidays abroad with us so it's not a case that she doesn't want to come here or anything.

OH won't talk about it much but I'm pretty sure he thinks she would be fine doing the journey. It's just he is basically scared of his ex (though he'd never admit it!) and won't bring up the subject. We have even talked to the daughter together (OH and I) and she's said she'd be fine doing the journey, she thinks it would be fun.

When I bring it up it becomes a bit of a source of tension between OH and I so I've not mentioned it for a while, but after a really upsetting conversation with him this morning when he was just talking about how shattered he is and how he feels under so much pressure from all different parts of his life and how he never has time for himself (literally - his 'me time' probably adds up to 4 hours a month) I feel like I need to bring it up again. I just wanted to get other people's opinions on the age issue before I did, in case I was the one being unreasonable thinking she'd be fine.

Thanks.

belfastgirl23

Are you sure that it's the ex who's against this? Maybe his DD likes having her dad to herself for these weekends and Mum is helping her to protect this time?

fluffnutter

FatVonD wrote: »

You make me , fluffnutter!

You're absolutely right of course but my DS has to start travelling to college by train one day per week soon and I can imagine him doing at least some of those things :eek: He's never been there before so we're going to have a trial run because his destination station does have a really odd platform layout for the return journey (I know this because I accidentally got on the wrong/fast train the other night and ended up there :rotfl: )

Totally agree. If you're unfamiliar with a journey all sorts can go wrong. But this kid has done the journey before many times hence my rather flippant response.

As an aside, my 45 year old husband managed to miss a train the other day, despite being ready and waiting on the platform when it pulled in. What an arse.