overwhelmed new member

triple_choc_chip

Coco114 wrote: »

My results have just arrived ..... All clear :T
One good thing though - it makes you realise that life really is too short and if I ever needed motivation to sort this mess out - I just got it by the bucket load !!!!!!!

I am one very lucky girl

Coco x

Yes you are indeed! More than you will ever fully appreciate. I'm genuinely very happy for you, because three years ago I had the exact opposite news and what followed was the most horrendous year.

I'm a survivor (so far) but will always be convinced that the stress involved with my break up with ex was a major contributor to the deadly assault on my health.

My very best wishes to you; onwards and upwards and don't let the misery get you down when he visits.

Much love x

Coco114

Hi TCC
Am so sorry to hear about what you are having to deal with & if my post caused you any upset at all - I apologise from the bottom of my heart.
Sounds like you have had a terrible time - I hope thngs start looking up for you.

Thanks for your post - the support of you & others on here means a great deal

Coco xx

triple_choc_chip

No need to apologise Coco, and I'm sorry if it came across in any way negative, I'm genuinely happy for anyone who gets the good news! I'm a long way up the road from all that now and life is happy and settled.

On the home front, mentally I've gone from fighting to make sure I'm here for my young son to now sometimes wishing I was separated by a few thousand miles from the emerging teenager! it's reassuring that all is as normal because he's not treading on eggshells!

Mr_Toad

Coco114 wrote: »

Wow - I have just spent 20 mins in floods of tears ..... Good tears though, tears of sheer relief ..... My neighbour (who arrived back from holiday this morning ) just bought me a letter delivered in error to her.

To explain - about 2 months ago I discovered a medical "problem" ..... I ignored it convinced it would go away. It didn't. Then I ignored it because too much else going on , mortgage , court etc etc. In fact any excuse to ignore it because I was scared .....
About 6 weeks ago , following too much wine with my friend - it all came out. After another 2 weeks and lots of nagging I finally went to the docs. They referred me to hospital & so followed a couple of appts of horrible tests. I told nobody else as I didnt want to worry anyone & really I didn't want to think about it. My results were due a week or so ago. And I have spent last week convincing myself to chase them up on Monday - good or bad , I had to deal with it.

My results have just arrived ..... All clear :T

I cannot believe the relief I feel - I also hadn't realised how much stress I was under with the worry - because I wouldn't acknowledge it I just didn't realise the strain I suppose !

What an idiot I am

I could have saved myself weeks of worry - what a fool ! One good thing though - it makes you realise that life really is too short and if I ever needed motivation to sort this mess out - I just got it by the bucket load !!!!!!!

I am one very lucky girl

Coco x

Yes you are and wouldn't it have been better to find that out much sooner? :cool:

I know logic often goes out of the window but if the results hadn't been favourable it wouldn't have made any difference but as they are you'd have been at peace a lot sooner.

How many people on here know how they are going to die?

Not many I suspect but I do. I'm going to die from respiratory failure. What I don't know is when,

It could be in the next hour :eek:

Knowing something like this is a relief, it helps you come to terms with life and focus on what's important.

On January 10th 2011 I was a perfectly healthy person. I was working a night shift doing changes to a big database and was fine right up until someone in the office spoke to me and I looked up to see two of them. I had double vision.

To cut a long story short I couldn't drive and was signed off. I then had a month of being subjected to medical experimentation and in Feb. 2011 got a diagnosis.

I have a brain disease, there is no cure. My brain is creating antibodies that block the chemical receptors that control muscle movement, the eye muscles are the smallest and first effected hence the double vision. The more I do something the more antibodies are produced and the harder it becomes for me to do whatever I'm doing. Resting helps recovery.

Everything is fine until it effects the muscles I use to breath. At some point in my life, right at the end apparently, I shall be unable to breath and unless I'm sat next to a ventilator when it happens it'll be good night Vienna. :A

I look and feel perfectly healthy, my medication helps control it. I had a year off work while they got the meds right. At one point I thought I'd never have a normal life again let alone get back to work. I had just come to terms with medical retirement when literally over night everything settled down and I've been 'normal'. I'm back at work and I have to be careful I don't over exert myself.

The first sign is I start to slur my words as I lose control of my muscles. This is when I have to stop and rest. It like Russian roulette, normally I get better, one day I won't I'll get worse and then the race to the ventilator begins. :rotfl:

You know that saying 'Live every day as if it were your last' well I do because it might just be. I live a normal life but with limitations I'm supposed to avoid doing anything that makes me breathless, see above.

My point in boring you with this is that I now appreciate every second of my life and the people in it. Every pint in the local tastes like nectar, every hour spent with loved ones, family and friends is treasured.

As you say, life is too short. Enjoy it.

Coco114

Masonn - I truly don't know what to say.

I for one need you around for many years to come for the occasional a** kicking i need from you. And Neville needs a job
Enough said.

As always - everything you say is true .... Thanks Uncle Masonn

Coco xx

Coco114

TCC - good luck with the emerging teenager
It's tough gowing sometimes right ?

Last week I was overcome with pride as my eldest passed his a levels :T
Today I am overcome with annoyance - if he leaves his sodding trainers on the stairs one more time I will put them in the bin !!!!!

One extreme to the other - that's kids for you

Coco x

Mr_Toad

Coco114 wrote: »

Masonn - I truly don't know what to say.

I for one need you around for many years to come for the occasional a** kicking i need from you. And Neville needs a job
Enough said.

As always - everything you say is true .... Thanks Uncle Masonn

Coco xx

Nothing to say, it's irrelevant and I plan to be around for a while yet.

I love my life and it has it's funny side too.

I'm not sure if I should....... Ah, what the hell.

When the girlfriend and me are in bed she'll grab me and say "Don't you die, don't you die, keep breathing, don't you die.........OK I'm fine you can die now." :rotfl:

I think people who have come through something life changing can offer hope and encouragement to others or at least tell them that there is a life worth living.

Look how you have gone from where you were to helping others on here.

Have a great Sunday Coco, I am, I'm just off to pick up the papers then the love of my life is doing dinner and at some point we shall call in and say hello to Neville and she'll see what the grumpy gardeners have a glut of with a view to chutney and jam making.

Coco114

:rotfl:
Totally ashamed of myself but - I laughed till I cried Masonn

prophecy_grrl

Hi Coco

I have spent every spare hour the last few days reading your entire thread. I just wanted to say that I think you're awesome and totally inspriational. I became single about a year ago, with one toddler, and I know it's hard. I became debt free in October but like you said, I worry if I don't have someting to worry about so there's always a bit of drama going on!!!

I have subscribed and look forward to following your thread and your journey. I hope my son grows up to make me as happy and proud as your 2 make you (though am slightly scared for the smelly teenage years after reading all about it!!!)

Keep up the good work - you're a legend

p_grrl

Coco114

Hi PG :j welcome to my crazy world !!!

Smelly teenagers - you gotta love 'em

Fell completely off MSE wagon today .... And I don't regret it one bit (well maybe a little !)

I bought myself a gorgeous bag & a jumper in the sale ..... £49 !!!! And I have absolutely no intention of taking them back . We are having a Chinese tonight (eldest paying half) and I am going to watch the new Silent Witness whilst enjoying the half bottle of wine in my fridge

I will start again tomorrow - I feel very positive & finally , like I have the energy to get things done which I was badly lacking! But , I am not going to beat myself up -£49 for going off the rails ? It could have been worse I reckon

A short work week (off work Friday ) meals all planned Inc lunches - then I need to do my budget ready for pay day - I know where I go wrong now - I take my eye off the ball the week I get paid , and don't stick to budget properly - I need to stop this because it screws up the rest of my month - September will be a fresh start for me in a lot of ways.

Coco x