I don't have a best friend..do you?

Candy53

No I haven't got a best friend, and have been thinking alot about it recently.
I had alot of friends when I was younger and had 3 that I called best friends, but everyone leads their own lives as time goes by, especially when we all moved to different locations, but I miss them all now.

I have a lovely family, 4 nearly grown up children and a lovely husband, but something always feels missing, and I realized it was not having a close friend in my life. Someone who is separate from my family, so I can be me, instead of always being 'Mum' and 'the wife'.

Candy

faerie~spangles

I don't have a best friend nor do I feel the need for one.

I don't really have any female friends either.

I have a best mate (male) who, despite being only slightly older than my offspring is there for me no matter when or why. He is single so I suppose if he had a gf the dynamics of our friendship would alter

raven83

Interesting thread, i have a best friend who is like a sister to me, know her since i was 16 so that is the best part of 12 years. However i do have another person that i would say is more of a kindred spirit and we have had over the years a very complicated friendship and one where we didn't talk for nealy 2 years. It's just so messed up as she can bring the best out in me as a person in some ways but also the worst in me where i end up almost hating myself, yet even when we don't talk i know there would never be anyone that could ever replace her as we have been through alot together.

As it stands now we haven't spoken for over a month now and i actually feel happier now than when we were talking, its weird because i am not sure if there is anyone else out there that has gone through anything similar? I think we clash because we are both very similar and we both had issues in the past, so it does make way for a turbulant friendship. The good times are great though and she is one person i would trust with my secrets, even if we don't speak i know she would never say anything and the same for me, its just such a unusual friendship.

My other best mate though is like a sister and we have our moments but she has always been there for me and we spent alot of time together as teens so we always got some embarrassing story or memory of what we used to get up to which is nice, plus our kids are similar in age and they all get on so its nice, i guess i am very lucky. As for mate is general i have friends but not like ones other than the 2 i just mentioned above, i would not ever get close to them or get up at 3am if they needed me.

stiltwalker

My OH is my best friend and TBH he was one of my 2 best friends before we were a couple. Since we have been together and moved to a village and had children my friendships have changed. OH is still my best friend, my other close friend moved to the village that we had moved to and we are still close but I have acquired 2 more amazing close friends who are there for me thick or thin. Some friends are forever but others you gain when you are in a certain place in your life and others who have been closer slip a little further away. It can be a surprise who turns out to be a true friend and who is more of a fairweather freddie but sadly there's no real way of telling until you end up in the mire.

Mrs_Ryan

I have a best friend - we speak every day without fail, then text and tweet each other. We call each other sister as I'm probably closer to her than my real sister! I do have other friends but she's the only one I speak to often... couldnt imagine being without her.

marie-20

I don't have a 'best' friend.

I had my 1st child at 18 so whilst all by BF's from school were all off to uni getting amazing jobs I was looking after a baby so that kind of ended most of the school friend relationships.

My OH is disabled and even though I got close to a couple of people I found that most people just don't understand my situation and life and can be quite judgemental on how they think my life should be which is ridiculous so I purposely drifted away from them.

The only person that could have been a BF I purposly drifted away from was controlled so much by her hubby it was unreal - I might as well just have been chatting to him but she was happy.

I do find it hard sometimes and would love a girly chat as most of the things that get me down are due to hubby so can't talk to him about it but life goes on I guess I'm lucky that I am quite close to my mum but it's not the same and I rarely talk to her about 'real' things as she'd only worry about me without good cause and she is also VERY judgemental in some ways, i.e. we're having problems with our eldests behaviour and she's taken it upon herself to talk to one of her friends who's a physcologist and has given me a list of things to try and wants me to arrange to have her here for a couple of weeks (!!!!!!) as obviously we are unable to deal with it :mad: - needless to say she was told where to go!! Good intentions maybe but even so!!


Onwards and upwards as they say

PasturesNew

Bangton wrote: »

...I have a handful of friends, I have a partner, a great family ....
Am I the only one without a best friend...?

I don't actually have ANY of the things on your list.

ada1988

Everybody have friends,but for the best,that is hard to say.
The one most understand me is my boyfriend and my sister.
To some degree they are the best ones.

RazWaz

I don't really have any friends, nevermind a best friend. I do have a partner that I can talk to about anything though, which is enough for now. I moved halfway across the country about 3 years ago so haven't made any new friends here as I've been ill since I moved. Hoping I start to recover in the next couple of years and can meet some new people and make some friends.

blue_monkey_2

Wow, funny I should find this thread, I have been dealing with some stuff lately and it has helped sort some things out in my head....

I thought I had a best friend, she turned out to be an abuser, manipulator and (quite frankly) a bloody psycho. How I did not see that coming I do not know!! It turned out she was made up of lots of bits from the people in my past that I had spent years trying to escape from. And that has scared the hell out of me and left me questioning myself and my own judgements - how did I get sucked into a controlling friendship with someone like this? She tried to make me her own *exclusive friend* and hated me talking to other people - she dragged my family into her crap with her lies to the point of having the police banging on my door at 3.30am. I dared to have a go at her about that and give her an opinion that was not of her choice - you are not allowed and opinion or to say anything she disagreed with, she expected a pat on the head and sympathy - and because I dod not give that she has started turning other people against me and my family with lies and manipulating them in the same way she did to me..... good luck to them. My real friends know the score and they are the ones I care about knowing the truth.

Now though, I am keeping most people at arms length, I do not need to have and exclusive friend, I just need to have friends, a group of people and someone whom I can go and have a whinge, laugh, cry if I need to. It does not have to be one person the whole time, just someone who can relate to that situation you are in. I am casual friends with about 20 people now, if I have something to talk about I'll speak to the one who has shared that experience, been in the same situation and can offer the advice I need. Friends do that without judging you. One friend cannot offer all of that, they can listen, but if they have not been in that situation, how can they offer you advice?

Recently our house flooded and I told the casual friends and I had loads of offers of help and then I realised..... I do have friends, friends that will help me if I need help, and will give me something if I need it - you do not have to be in contact with someone 24/7, have their number on speed dial or be in an exclusive friendship for them to be your best friend, best friends are there when you need them to be.

I hope that helps a little. It sounds a little corny but I believe that we make friends with people for a reason - either they are there to help us, or we are there to help them, the issue is resolved and then you move on to new friends with who,m you share an interest, passion, or just through your children. People, relationships, friendships, they all change and come and go - you'll have friends who are there to help you through stuff in life. They will be important to you - you just may not have realised it yet.