I don't have a best friend..do you?

There_Goes_Trouble

I have 2 best friends and very close family. Between them I would never be without someone to talk to about anything.

However, I don't have a partner. Just never met anyone. Therefore never had the opportunity for children.

I guess you can't have everything in life.

jackomdj

My "best friend" has been my friend since we were 5, grew close when I was about 14 and best friends since 16. Sometimes we don't talk for months but we pick up where we left off. Our lives are very different but we can talk about anything to each other.

I have other good girl friends who I could go to if i needed anything.

balletshoes

scottishchick27 wrote: »

I have 5, we don't see or speak to each other daily but we're always there for each other when required.

I have 2 best friends, but now live hundreds of miles away from them. my sisters however, are the ones i'd tell my woes to, as we've always been very close. they wouldn't judge me, as i wouldn't judge them.

Twinklebear

Thanks for your post as I see I am not the only one pondering this. I did consider I have had a couple of "best" friends down the years but when I look back now it was more a controlling thing whereas they were friends with me if I did and said what they wanted as I struggle very much with saying my mind, hate upsetting people and am a "pleaser" so the "best" friends were much stronger characters than me. Once I started to question or hesitantly voice objections to things they didn't want to know and the hurt isn't really worth while in my opinion. I now have trust issues thinking does anyone really care about their friends feelings or just their own. About 6 months ago I stopped being friends with a woman I had been friends with for over 10 years. My 10 year old was/still is being bullied by a local family inc the mother shouting out he is gay etc and I told this "best" friend how it was upsetting us and how we have to record for the police what is said from now on. Anyway next I know this "best" friend is laughing, joking and confiding in this family how it is all upsetting us. On hearing this I firmly (for once) stopped our friendship but is that the end of it oh no, how DARE I not want to be friends with her. Behaviour now we are dealing with is of an almost stalking nature, going down to my husband's work to see he is there etc standing in front of my house for hours on end, ringing my mother saying I am on the change (hello!). I just feel a complete and utter fool for being such a pleaser and giving over 10 years of my life into making this woman's life easy babysitting for her whenever etc and just being a complete walk over....never ever again...

clearing_out_my_pockets

Up until three weeks ago, I had a best friend and a very good friend (different people!) - now I have a good friend. Other than that, I share everything with DH. I have different friends that I discuss different things with - there is no longer one friend I will share everything with. That's what DH is for, I suppose.

meg72

I dont have a best friend now, She died last year, she was so very dear to me, closer in a way even than family. I find I dont look to make friends now as the pain of parting is just too much to bear.I have a few acqaintances,I like to be sociable and friendly but as to letting someone be that close again, No,its not going to happen.

coolcait

Like dizziblonde, I've always been quite content with my own company (not because I was bullied).

I've never felt the need to talk to other people about rows I've had with a partner (I'd rather try to resolve the issues with my partner).

I don't get wound up about Valentine's Day or anniversaries; I don't expect the world to revolve around me on my birthday or on Christmas. That approach to life seems to save me from a lot of the angst which seems to overtake friends, and other people, at regular intervals during the year.

I have a lot of good friends, both male and female; I am happy to lend an ear to their problems and worries (and they have learnt that my approach is 'try to find a solution'). But, I prefer to work out my own problems by myself.

While that approach might make me a man - according to textbooks and the 'but everyone else does it this way!' school of thought - I'm a woman. My own woman.

I wouldn't change that for anything.

bright_side

My best friend is my childrens fathers, brothers ex girlfriend. We've known each other about 23 years, but she became my living angel (as I call her ) about 11 years ago when I was in a really bad place with depression. I honestly believe that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here now. I was 30 at the time and she became the first person ever that I could completely be myself with and whom I could trust never to let me down. I can't even begin to explain how much of a difference that has made to my life. The first time she held me when I was distraught with emotions I couldn't cope with, quite literally changed my life. I always say that if I ever had to choose between that hug and millions of pounds, I'd choose the hug every single time. We don't see a huge amount of each other now....she's busy at home with her little ones and I'm working full time, but we both know that we will always be there for each other any time of night or day. I can't tell you how blessed that makes me feel.

Bangton

I'm glad I shared...thankyou for you interesting posts. I wish i was someone that could be alone but I'm not. I share pretty much everything with my partner but there are some things I'd love to have a girlfriend for.

Actually, of late, I rarely see anyone outside of work unless they are related to me!! I can't remember the last time I saw one of my friends. I thought I was happy until today when I started to feel like I'm going it alone more than I'd like to. I'm close to my Auntie but lately she has been funny with me when I see her and not replying to my texts. I do have 2 girlfriends at work who I've known and trusted for 7 years but I wouldn't call them best friends.

I don't know...I'm having an insecure day I guess!

Bangton

karen23 wrote: »

My best friend is my childrens fathers, brothers ex girlfriend. We've known each other about 23 years, but she became my living angel (as I call her ) about 11 years ago when I was in a really bad place with depression. I honestly believe that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here now. I was 30 at the time and she became the first person ever that I could completely be myself with and whom I could trust never to let me down. I can't even begin to explain how much of a difference that has made to my life. The first time she held me when I was distraught with emotions I couldn't cope with, quite literally changed my life. i always say that if I ever had to choose between that hug and millions of pounds, I'd choose the hug every single time. We don't see a huge amount of each other now....she's busy at home with her little ones and I'm working full time, but we both know that we will always be there for each other any time of night or day. I can't tell you how blessed that makes me feel.

I want her as my friend:D Lovely story...the thanks button has disappeared so I had to quote it!