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Jinx

victory wrote: »

They kept me in the dark, deliberately I would say so what does that make it?

That makes it their decision, based on their morals, values and thoughts. Just because you feel a sense of entitlement does not actually make it so. The fact the person does not feel like a liar imo means they felt the right decision was made.

For example, my daughter has anxiety issues, my mum (her gran) doesnt know this. I purposely withhold this information even though my mum may feel she should know as we're a close family. I have my own reasons for not telling her. Will she be upset if she finds out? I would say def yes. Does it change my mind? No, not at all. And I havent lied, not once.

aliasojo

victory wrote: »

They kept me in the dark, deliberately I would say so what does that make it?

Misguided.

borkid

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Maybe didn't tell you to protect you or because you didn't need to know. Could have been planning to tell you when time was right.

My daughter doesn't always tell me when she's ill because she doesn't want to worry me. She often glosses over how she is when I ask her. Technically it is lying but I don't think of it as such.

jellyhead

If somebody decided not to tell you something about them then I wouldn't call it lying?

It might be something you think you should know, for example I'd want to know if my child got a contraceptive implant (it was in the news this week that girls as young as 12 are being given them by schools) but not telling you isn't lying. If you asked them outright if they were using contraception and they said no, that would be lying.

Person_one

victory wrote: »

I will come off now, apologies once again for bothering you all, have a good evening, just wanted some help.

Why not post a hypothetical situation that's close to the reality but not identifiable then?

Honestly, this is just so subjective and could vary so much depending on the specifics that you won't get any real help from generalities, you might get validation though, if that's what you want.

one_hot_minute

It's basically a very manipulative way to get out of trouble. If It's important to you or affects you and they knew that then yes it's wrong to omit the truth.

I've only People I've know to use this tactic have been utter !!!!!! trying to get out of trouble or save their own backside. I've had the 'god, I'm so sorry, I didn't think to tell you' which is different than 'I didn't lie, i just didn't tell you.' which is just wordplay and semantics really .

*max*

Anyway, you said it can't be changed now, so there is no point dithering about the rights and wrongs. It can't be helped.

The only thing you can do is see if you still want that person in your life after this, and if you do, whether you will be able to forgive. Whether strangers see it as lying or not is a moot point, what matters is how you feel about it.

burnoutbabe

victory wrote: »

I don't think they aresorry they never told me no not at all, they chose the technicallity of it as the first post and chose to withhold/not tell/ lie/be decietful that type ofthing in their eyes.

the fact they are not sorry that you are upset, whatever the cause, isn't very nice. I can think I am in the right by not telling you something but doesnt mean I wouldn't appologise if you were upset about that when it all came out.

Sambucus_Nigra

victory wrote: »

They kept me in the dark, deliberately I would say so what does that make it?

After a quiet life?

skintchick

I think that is you are talking about a subject or issue and someone doesn;t tell you somethng then they are lying by omission.

That is why in court you have to swear to tell 'the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth' (my emphasis) as omissions are seen not telling the truth.

However, that assumes you are already talking about an issue. If someone simply doesn't tell you something that's not a lie, even by omission as there is nothing from which to omit it, but you might still be extremely cross about it, with good reason, depending on what it is.