Adult children paying their share of a meal

Spirit_2

I can understand the 16 year old wanting a 'famly get together' including his dad and his sisters. Can you invite everyone over for a meal at your house to avoid a 'pub' get together being needed?

How often does this happen?

In our early years of marriage my mum would 'treat us' as we became settled (we mostly) treated her. Taking her on holiday regularly, spending xmas with us, buying large items for her. In the early years Most of the times that we saw her it was 'us' as a couple. As we worked long hours our leisure time was spent together and 'together' we visited mum. Nothing suspicious, no taking advantage, just reflected where we were in our life at that time.

For us it worked I grew to love my FiL and OH grew to love my mum.

I know you are annoyed now...but is it significant in the scheme of family life?

mico62

Spirit wrote: »

I can understand the 16 year old wanting a 'famly get together' including his dad and his sisters. Can you invite everyone over for a meal at your house to avoid a 'pub' get together being needed?

How often does this happen?

QUOTE]

The last time they were invited here was Boxing Day, middle daughter phoned her sister who was driving and said she had better things to do but but in the end we had a fantastic day and night, laughing and joking and playing games.

They are always welcome here even when I've been ignored (when DH leaves the room) I've bit my tongue and said nothing as deep down I know their mother has something to do with their behaviour but they're not kids they're grown women

burnoutbabe

I'm 38 and my dad would still pay. He'd not feel "stiffed" if my sister and her partner also turned up, he'd be pleased to see us all.

(I take him and mum out and pay as well at times)

Humphrey10

mico62 wrote: »

In DHs words the two 'men' had 'sown up pockets' and when the bill arrived DH was left to pay for them all.

What about the women? Or don't they count?

onlyroz

These days when I eat out with my parents we take it in turns to pay. But I do agree the comment about the "men" sewing up their pockets is a bit strange. I thought this was the 21st century... :think:

Seanymph

I wonder if he is happy to pay, but daren't risk your condemnation of it coming out of the 'joint account' and so griped a bit so that you weren't cross with him.

I'm just playing devil's advocate by the way, not judging - but he may have offered to them, but slant it in talking to you so that you aren't cross with him.

burnoutbabe

what would be the issue if it was the kids of both of you, out for a big family meal (probably with you)? would you be hacked off if he had paid for everyone then?

Caroline73_2

Are you sure you aren't just a bit peeved you weren't invited?

Sambucus_Nigra

mico62 wrote: »

Stepson contacted DH to go out today - he's 16 so DH fits in with his social life and when he wants to spend time with dad. Usually they go to the cinema or bowling but he asked if he could go to a particular pub for lunch.

When they arrived his daughters (1 married, 1 living with partner) were already there so it had obviously been prearranged.

Do you mean the 2 daughters of your husband AND their 'other half' were also there?

So, essentially, his 3 children and their spouses? And then he had to foot the bill for all 6 of them? He didn't walk in with the others so why would they expect him to pay?

cazziebo

I agree with the poster who said it depends entirely on what is usual in your family. My dad would always pay if we were out for a family meal (including partners and children if any) and this would be the same if we were out with any of that generation. The only way around it would be if we could sneak a credit card to the waitress without him noticing. (And if that happened he'd be pretty furious!) My OH's parents are the same. (and I'm a bit uncomfortable with that because that extends to my kids who are not my OH's) Neither family is well off.
I always pay for my children and their friends/partners if we go out.

I'm not saying this is right, just what happens in our world.

BTW - I think it's a bit of a jump to cast aspersions about ex wife influence on limited information given! We're not all evil!