help on where i stand working wth a man making me upset on a daily basis

getmore4less

how do you coordinate you are not all chasing the same MD's

There is more to this than a dodgy trainer.


you could just ignore the person and get on with the job.

Yorkie1

24hourwork wrote: »

he is our "mentor" for 3 months, i have spoken to my manager who has admitted he knows this man is the problem, and has asked me not to go to HR as he himself will get into trouble, but at the end of the day i am having to resign as i respect myself more than to be treated that way, and to sit each night dreading going to work the next day because of this one person, and being physically upset over it, i am not a job hopper, i am in my early 30's, always worked in sales and only ever had 2 jobs each for a very long time, i know i may have thought the grass was greener, it clearly wasn't, but surely this man can not treat me like this? i just wanted advice on what to say to HR if i contact them

You have nothing to lose by going to HR if you are considering resigning anyway. If your manager isn't prepared to abide by their duty of care to you, then your manager frankly deserves to have HR scrutinise their performance.

On Monday, try to contact HR as a matter of urgency, say you want to discuss a bullying at work issue informally to start with. If they are worth their salt, they will not hang around in trying to meet with you.

In the meantime until you do speak to HR, try to record details of all incidents (obviously, don't make a big deal about doing this or attract attention to yourself). If you feel up to it (and it won't ruin your weekend too much), try to put down on paper what has happened to date, including your discussions with your manager.

DVardysShadow

Yorkie1 wrote: »

...
In the meantime until you do speak to HR, try to record details of all incidents (obviously, don't make a big deal about doing this or attract attention to yourself). If you feel up to it (and it won't ruin your weekend too much), try to put down on paper what has happened to date, including your discussions with your manager.

OP is in a position where she is considering resigning. She can therefore afford to be bold and I suggest actually she stands up to this bully, not taking any nonsense from him. Yes, writng it down in real time may bring down more of the same, but I do think that firmly, politely and persistently she should tell him that he is out of order, behaving unacceptably and if feeling bold, unfit to hold his position or to inspire confidence.

I don't think there is anything of any value to be gained by sitting and putting up with it for one moment longer.

Emmzi

I'd go back to you r manager. What does he mean he would "get into trouble too?"

So the conversation then becomes "you can keep him away from me or I can go to HR but I can't work like this. And if you sack me I am going to call HR anyway because they need to know how people are being treated."

24hourwork

thanks everyone, i am speaking to my manager in the morning, so i will see what happens, i like the job and can se the prospects, but am not willing to work with a bully, i never have done, and i respect myself more than to let him think he can treat people that way

nimbo

re: manager asking you not to go to HR - DO IT.

it's not on that he knew about the p o o head and did nothing. he shouldn't be complicit in work place bullying.

good luck tomorrow, and be strong. xxxxxxx

gibson123

Raise an official grievance using the company grievance policy if they have one, go see HR, take lots of notes, dates, times etc. if he is very intimidating then you could speak to your health and safety person and say you feel that the attitude of the bully and the manager is putting your personal well-being at risk and ask what is in place to protect you in the workplace. if that does not get your company to take action - walk (no run) away as quickly as you can. Get advice from ACAS.

24hourwork

well today i spoke to my manager, explained i wanted to hand in my notice, he tried to stop me from doing so, so he told me i had to send an email to him to confirm it, so i did, i put in the email they reasons why and explained that he had said on the phone that i would get paid up until the end day (monday) even though he is letting me not be there, i asked if had could have a reply to conform he had had the email, i didn't get areply, but a phone call asking if i would sent ot to him but without the mention of why, as i would make HR ask him too many questions, so i sent a simple one back, so we will see what happens on paypay! i don't expect to be paid if past experiance from other people is anything to go by, thankfully i have all the mails i have sent, and phone records to match, i may be going to HR after all

Emmzi

why on earth are you protecting a man who is doing !!!!!! all for you?

go to HR!!!!

yvonne13_2

24hourwork wrote: »

well today i spoke to my manager, explained i wanted to hand in my notice, he tried to stop me from doing so, so he told me i had to send an email to him to confirm it, so i did, i put in the email they reasons why and explained that he had said on the phone that i would get paid up until the end day (monday) even though he is letting me not be there, i asked if had could have a reply to conform he had had the email, i didn't get areply, but a phone call asking if i would sent ot to him but without the mention of why, as i would make HR ask him too many questions, so i sent a simple one back, so we will see what happens on paypay! i don't expect to be paid if past experiance from other people is anything to go by, thankfully i have all the mails i have sent, and phone records to match, i may be going to HR after all

:eek: WAIT!!!!! Why is he telling you to amend what you wrote? I wouldn't have done it, that could leave the door open for anything to happen and because he rang you you have no evidence to back you up that he asked you to amend what you wrote.

I would not have amended anything and I more than likely would have BCC'd HR as I would be leaving anyway. And even if I did amend it I would have made it clear on the email that I was amending what I wrote as per your telephone call to me at XXXX asking me to remove the reasons why.

OP I hope you do get paid and I hope that was left on the email.