cemetary, council and removal of personal obejcts from grave.

Welshwoofs

coolcait wrote: »

I do feel for the people who have been affected by this move. However, if you're going to complain effectively, then you need to do it based on facts rather than emotions. For that reason, it might be better to get someone else to help you write the complaint - maybe as a group.

Exactly, yes.

There's no point starting petitions, contacting MPs and holding meetings unless you actually have a solid goal. Hurling of emotive language may be cathartic on a personal level, but it actually achieves nothing.

Now it seems to me that if it can be proven that the council didn't follow their own regulations by giving 28 days notice to grave owners, then there'd be good reason to reinstate these personal belongings and force the council to follow the correct procedure....which would give this group of people 28 days to compile an argument for allowing personal mementos on graves permanently (again, an argument based on sound reasoning rather than emotive accusations)

vax2002

To be honest, this is what happens when local people can not be bothered standing for election in local councils, in move the nasty little jobsworths who are in the job for two things, to get the payouts and they are generous and can certainly fund a full time lifestyle and the second thing they do it for is to punish people.

Marisco

Like others, I think the way they have gone about it is all wrong, but I agree with their thinking. Personally I think all these things around a grave just look tacky. If you go around some of these fantastic cemeteries in Europe like the Cimitero Monumentale in Milan, you won't see windchimes, plastic flowers etc all over the graves. But the way they went about it is definitely wrong and they should have given enough notice for the people to remove the things themselves.

Tiddlywinks

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

.........personalise their graves with that persons favourate items such as football reef decorations, photo frames laminted cuddly bears etc nothing they are being removed and placed in a recycling bin.

mrcow wrote: »

.... But if the memorial is neither offensive nor over the top, who are the council to strip personal belongings from a site of mourning?

Again, I absolutely agree that the manner in which the change was made appears lacking in care for the relatives.

However, why should someone who has buried a relative and wants a respectful environment for mourning that loss (as promised by the council in the terms and conditions of purchasing and using the cemetary) then find that there are, say, Man United rosettes, gawdy ornaments and a host of other things all piled up in a space which could literally be within inches of the place they visit to pay their respects?

A few small trinkets ok - a circus type display, no.

I'd say give a little more lattitude for a child's grave but this "fashion" - as that's what it is - for ever bigger and brighter decorations does need to be toned down for the benefit of those of us who want a more understated way of mourning.

meritaten

while I do understand your pov Tiddlywinks and others - the council have only RECENTLY introduced these rules - many of the plots were purchased years ago when there was NO restriction of any kind! MRS Atrix's mum died about 15 years ago - surely the council are now violating the agreement made at the time! and raised no objection when the plaque was purchased and sited last year? surely they knew then that this was happening (considering how long this council take to decide matters?).
You cannot take the emotion OUT of this issue - it is Emotive and the council should have dealt with matters totally differently! as you can see - many of the graves had stone edgeing which had been there for some time - surely they just cannot remove it?
I thought the councils remit was merely to maintain access BETWEEN the plots?

Ames

Even if you don't agree with things being kept on graves, what possible justification can there be for removing the topsoil? In the picture it just looks like a load of newly dug graves.

As for the 'fashion' of ever more elaborate mementos - is it really any different to the Victorians building ever bigger gravestones/mausoleums? If you look at pictures of, say, Highbury cemetary some of those are huge and gaudy - and a lot more permanent than a plastic windmill or teddy bear!

custardy

I think at the very least,the council could have put signs up about the pending enforcement.
those affected are probably thos likely to be attending the graves,and as such would have likely seen the signs


on a side note to atrixblue.-MFR-
taking pictures of the PC screen is a weird way of getting pictures from the PC to forum
you can upload them to the likes of photobucket
then post them like you did here
if you don't have the image and its on FB and you cant downkload it
simply use the "snipping tool" found in progrrams>accessories

thorsoak

It's happened in other parts of the country too - see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12396991

mountainofdebt

I must admit I thought about posting last night as to how much I agreed with the council's position - even if they haven't gone about things the correct way but didn't as I knew I'd be on to a hiding to nothing.

I have to say that some of the cemetaries look like rubbish dumps (and I don't mean to offend anyone) with all the stuff that people had at the graveside. Its hard to hard to reflect peacefully with wind chimes and the ilk clanging in the background

Church cemetaries are alot stricter and the one where some members of my family are buried it is so peaceful both on the mind and the eyes, especially in the summer as the sun is going down. ( I also went to the military cemetaries when I was about 12 and I can remember then how eerie it was but not in a frightening way but a peaceful way - perhaps it was eerie because it was so peaceful and could hardly hear the traffic)

The point in allowing some sort of ornament is that one family ok is another family's tack so its alot easier not to allow anything.

Also Caerphilly aren't the only ones - Rhondda Cynon Taf put a stop to this last year

Tiddlywinks

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I must admit I thought about posting last night as to how much I agreed with the council's position - even if they haven't gone about things the correct way but didn't as I knew I'd be on to a hiding to nothing.

I think the problem is that the people who think that the jumble of colours, noise etc is OK will be the ones more likely to shout and get mobs together; whereas those that would rather have peace and simplicity for their loved ones and themselves are probably those that are less likely to shout up - hence, the loud minority assume they are the majority.

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I have to say that some of the cemetaries look like rubbish dumps (and I don't mean to offend anyone) with all the stuff that people had at the graveside. Its hard to hard to reflect peacefully with wind chimes and the ilk clanging in the background

I agree - just because a grave has a simple stone and just a few cut flowers does not mean that the person is now unloved and forgotten. It seems almost that some people feel the need to shout about their loss using these displays maybe to demonstrate a visible sign that they care or something.

I can understand a parent wanting to put some teddies on a grave but I can't understand why an adult's grave needs to be adorned like a christmas tree.