"poverty mentality"

nobodyspecial

Justamum wrote: »

Having lived in Africa and seen the devastation caused by goats I wouldn't encourage anyone to buy goats for the third world! Something to help educate the children would be better - pencils and books.

You make me wonder why goats feature in Oxfam's and similar brochures???? They are very "hands on" so I would think they wouldn't encourage them where they would be a liability. And shhhhh say it quietly, but when you "buy" your goat or whatever I think the small print says they buy either your chosen gift or something from the same category depending on local needs etc. As everything is sourced as local as possible, I'm sure they must only put goats into areas suitable for them, Africa, and indeed the third world, is a vast area with differing environments. But pencils and books are good too

budgetboo

My issue is my tendency to hoard! I'm a real "clutter nutter" never throwing anythng away if I can help it "just in case".

This squirrelling is good in some ways - like I always have a decent pantry, so if an unexpected bill comes in my child still eats well, but a v. messy home if I don't constantly check myself!

No matter how often I do a declutter I never seem to get on top of it for long before it starts building up again & as we share a one bed flat it's probably a bigger issue for me than for some. You just can't tidy clutter & "stuff".

Our Mum was a squirrel due to hard times in WW11 and then the 1970's but I'm even worse!

It's deffo "poverty mentality" and the only cure seems to be to mark an official monthly "declutter day" on the calender - and even then I get stressed about it.

luxor4t

misscousinitt wrote: »

... I'm not poor, but I'm not rich either and having elements of OS in my life enables me to pay extra off my mortgage every month, means we can treat ourselves to nice holidays and the odd nice meal out.

Snap! I choose to make frugal choices on some things so I can splurge on other things.
Eg every thing I wear is bought in sales - usually the M&S manager's reductions hence my £3 trousers, £7 jumper and seconds' shop sale blouse.
BUT my holiday will be spent in 5 star hotels - prices compared on-line, booked direct and through a cashback site. Paid for with the Tesco credit card (for the points) & then cleared in cash.
As the Americans say, I like "a lot of bang for my buck."

Out,_Vile_Jelly

"Poverty mentality" and consumer excess are two sides of the same coin; in both instances money has taken over someone's life with negative long term effects.

I like to think of myself as in charge of my money, not the other way around. I make it work for me.

Two incidences in my early 20s in my first job made a lasting impression on me when I was living abroad. I flatshared with a woman of 30 who had to return to the UK in a hurry, with her finances in a precarious state. She was stoked to discover her final paypacket contained £20 more than expected. I remember thinking when I'm 30 I don't want to be so poor that I'm excited about an extra £20. I also shared with a girl whose well off parents came over to visit and took us flatmates out for a meal; this was in Eastern Europe about 12 years ago and a meal for 6 with drinks came to about £24. I was mortified when her mother got out a calculator at the end of the meal and made sure everyone paid up; my parents would always buy me and any housemates who were in lunch when I was a student and wouldn't dream of asking them to pay, let alone working it out with mathematical precision. I remember thinking I will never ever be so publicly mean.

elona

Pipney Jane

The online site I found for bras is brastop.com - I have just googled it and they have a sale on just now which makes it even better.

If you are in the north of England you could try to find a Boyes shop and check there. Not fancy and lots of choice but some really good deals.

Just about to go to look for yellow stickered items in my Mand S cord trousers (£7 in sale) and designer coat (£299 reduced to £60 and lovely and cosy). Being sensible with what I buy lets me do things I enjoy - not being mean or suffering but getting the same thing or better for less.

DH now reckons we eat much better every time I "keep an eye on what we spend" because I make more from scratch etc.

Justamum

Please don't feel demeaned - you are obviously a good mum and deserve to feel good about yourself.

Hug to all

bearcub

Very interesting thread! And I disagree with the sentiments expressed by the OP's post. Having a 'poverty mentality' isn't the same thing at all as living carefully, financially, or vice versa. Since finding this forum, I (and now my OH, too) have started looking at our spending a little more closely, and we've found that, in some cases, we've been spending a lot more than we needed to. I rarely buy clothes from charity shops, simply because I can rarely find anything I like or in my size, but I have cut back on the cost of grocery shopping. At the same time, I've started buying good quality clothes, that are more expensive, but I know they're going to last, and we often buy local meat from the farm shop - again, expensive compared to supermarket meat, but so much flavour, that we need less for each meal. Why should we put money into supermarkets' coffers when we can afford to support local farms and companies?

Btw, I have a friend who is one of the most elegantly dressed and stylish 70 year olds I've ever come across, and I know she buys the vast majority of her clothes from charity shops. She certainly doesn't have a poverty mentality!

RAS

nobodyspecial wrote: »

You make me wonder why goats feature in Oxfam's and similar brochures???? They are very "hands on" so I would think they wouldn't encourage them where they would be a liability.

Goats are a liability when allowed to graze freely and extensively. When they are fed in stalls as taught by the charities, they are not a problem.

I would add that goats and woolie maggots are busy wrecking large chuinks of our country but that is consider picturesque.

I recommend www.savoryinstitute.com to anyone who wants to understand dry land grazing.

Justamum

RAS wrote: »

Goats are a liability when allowed to graze freely and extensively. When they are fed in stalls as taught by the charities, they are not a problem.

When goats graze they don't just crop the grass they rip it up by the roots. There is nothing left to hold the soil together, the rains come and wash away the topsoil, then nothing can grow. Desertification gets worse.

bearcub

Justamum wrote: »

When goats graze they don't just crop the grass they rip it up by the roots. There is nothing left to hold the soil together, the rains come and wash away the topsoil, then nothing can grow. Desertification gets worse.

Yes, but, if they can be contained, they're a very reliable source of food, and breed easily. The young children get milk, and surplus billies are used for meat, while any surplus goats are sold. Result - well-fed family with extra funds to improve their standard of living.

Justamum

bearcub wrote: »

Yes, but, if they can be contained, they're a very reliable source of food, and breed easily. The young children get milk, and surplus billies are used for meat, while any surplus goats are sold. Result - well-fed family with extra funds to improve their standard of living.

But they don't contain them, that's the problem.