CSA Law UNFAIR! From a woman!

Loui1979

I just wanted to have express my opinions about the CSA. Its nothing personal to anyone on here.

mishmash

I am really suprised that the other side is not really being considered.

I was with with a long term partner, having 3 children. he then had an affair and left me for thwe other woman. These things happen.

Anyway the Non resident parent was able to set up home with his new partner, have a lavish wedding, go on to have other children and enjoy a very good standard of living. I do not begrudge this but I am unhappy that the system then allows him to make life choices which put the children he had with me very low down the list of his responsabilities.

If I as a Parent with care made life choices which meant I could no longer meet the childrens basic needs I could be prosecuted for neglect and child protection proceedings innitiated. If I did not feed and clothe the children or provide them with shelter. Yet non resident parents often do this.

It is the hardest job in the world to parent single handedly, yet there are so many paople out there who seem to villify single parents. Yet the parent who goes on to a new family ( forgetting there old one) are seen as upstanding members of the community.

I think in most cases the non resident parent knows that they have a child, and to be honest, an out come of having sex is pregnancy and children. I would be suprised if there were many people who were not aware of this.

If people have sex that is unpotected then they must then take responsability. There is nothing to stop a man taking precautions, and in my opinion he must have been a willing participant at some stage.

As i said it is very hard raising children alone and the maintenance assesments I'm aware do not really represent the true cost of child rearing, financially or practically.

I'm sure you may be able to find a handfull of unscrupulous women who have got themselves pregnant, but I am convinced that most lone parents are struggling to do a hard job in difficult circumstrances. Portraying them as the scum of the earth only makes their job harder.

Both parents have a resonsability to their children and children have a right to have their needs put first by their parents, I think it is a sad reflection of our society that we have to make absent parents pay.

I know many men who are only to happy to pay for their children, above what the C.S.A request and make every effort to ensure their childrens needs are met. I feel sure for every 1 case of this 'pregnancy by deception just to get the maintenance' I could find hundreds of lone parents just trying to make ends meet.

belfastgirl23

Plenty of women end up with children they haven't planned due to contraception failures etc, should they just be able to dump them and say that it wasn't what they expected? I don't think it's any great secret (even to men) that sex might cause pregnancy. If they fail to take steps to guard against it then they have to live with the consequences too.

Loui1979

mishmash wrote:

I am really suprised that the other side is not really being considered.

I was with with a long term partner, having 3 children. he then had an affair and left me for thwe other woman. These things happen.

Anyway the Non resident parent was able to set up home with his new partner, have a lavish wedding, go on to have other children and enjoy a very good standard of living. I do not begrudge this but I am unhappy that the system then allows him to make life choices which put the children he had with me very low down the list of his responsabilities.

If I as a Parent with care made life choices which meant I could no longer meet the childrens basic needs I could be prosecuted for neglect and child protection proceedings innitiated. If I did not feed and clothe the children or provide them with shelter. Yet non resident parents often do this.

It is the hardest job in the world to parent single handedly, yet there are so many paople out there who seem to villify single parents. Yet the parent who goes on to a new family ( forgetting there old one) are seen as upstanding members of the community.

I think in most cases the non resident parent knows that they have a child, and to be honest, an out come of having sex is pregnancy and children. I would be suprised if there were many people who were not aware of this.

If people have sex that is unpotected then they must then take responsability. There is nothing to stop a man taking precautions, and in my opinion he must have been a willing participant at some stage.

As i said it is very hard raising children alone and the maintenance assesments I'm aware do not really represent the true cost of child rearing, financially or practically.

I'm sure you may be able to find a handfull of unscrupulous women who have got themselves pregnant, but I am convinced that most lone parents are struggling to do a hard job in difficult circumstrances. Portraying them as the scum of the earth only makes their job harder.

Both parents have a resonsability to their children and children have a right to have their needs put first by their parents, I think it is a sad reflection of our society that we have to make absent parents pay.

I know many men who are only to happy to pay for their children, above what the C.S.A request and make every effort to ensure their childrens needs are met. I feel sure for every 1 case of this 'pregnancy by deception just to get the maintenance' I could find hundreds of lone parents just trying to make ends meet.

Can i just make it clear that i am talking about woman that con the boy into getting them pregnant and then no longer want anything to do with the boy. Eg telling them that it is not theirs or not telling them at all. Then a few years down the line taking them to the csa for money even though the father did have no knowledge of the child.

Obviosly i am not talking about woman that tell the men from the start that the child is theirs and wants them to be involved.

Loui1979

belfastgirl23 wrote:

Plenty of women end up with children they haven't planned due to contraception failures etc, should they just be able to dump them and say that it wasn't what they expected? I don't think it's any great secret (even to men) that sex might cause pregnancy. If they fail to take steps to guard against it then they have to live with the consequences too.

Again, i am talking about woman that use men as sperm donors and get pregnant on purpose.

There is more happening of this than people think.

mishmash

I just do not actually beleive there are as many of these women as you seem to think.

It may be the case that a lone parent finds themselves in a position whre they are dependant on benefits and are forced to make a C.S.A claim.

It may be that the men who tell tales of being conned are not always telling the whole truth.

I know how hard it is to raise children alone and I really struggle to beleive that there are lots of women out there seeing getting pregnant as a meal ticket. Do you have any idea how expensive children are and even with maintenance payments they do not represent even half of ther true cost.

I think this is such a small issue where it does happen that the lone parent does what you describe. The law has been changed so that both parents on the birth certificate and present at registration have parental responsability for a child. It is not the law that requires change its the culture and the ill thought out beleifs held by people.

Loui1979

mishmash wrote:

I just do not actually beleive there are as many of these women as you seem to think.

Actually, there are.

I beleive there are many woman exactly like this. However, the government chose not to show the statistics for obvious reasons.

Zara33

Loui1979 wrote:

Again, i am talking about woman that use men as sperm donors and get pregnant on purpose.

There is more happening of this than people think.

:eek: OMG :rotfl:

OK Loui since we have discussed this before :rolleyes: your gripe is that your b/f had a one night stand which ended in the girl being pregnant now of course paternity is being disputed. I have no sympathy because if your b/f did not want to be in this situation then a) he should have kept his pants on or b) if the urge was just too much for him then perhaps he should have used a condom.

We have had this argument before and we (me and you will never agree) your b/f is just as much to blame as the the other girl.

The easy option that you suggest is just to get an abortion simple done and dusted. Doesn't work like that does it.

daphne_descends

If a man chooses not to wear a condom then there is no one else to blame for a resulting child OR STD.

Regardless of how a woman gets pregnant though, why should the child suffer exactly?

Loui1979

Zara33 wrote:

:eek: OMG :rotfl:

OK Loui since we have discussed this before :rolleyes: your gripe is that your b/f had a one night stand which ended in the girl being pregnant now of course paternity is being disputed. I have no sympathy because if your b/f did not want to be in this situation then a) he should have kept his pants on or b) if the urge was just too much for him then perhaps he should have used a condom.

We have had this argument before and we (me and you will never agree) your b/f is just as much to blame as the the other girl.

The easy option that you suggest is just to get an abortion simple done and dusted. Doesn't work like that does it.

Sorry to dissapoint but i am trying to argue with you. I think you have a chip on your shoulder.
And i dont underatand why you made that post, I am not talking about my partner or personal life.

:rolleyes: