Bridesmaid hell...

MrsShawToBe

Now she's never been that reliable, but I asked my best friend to be my BM and she's not responding to any texts or anything about the dresses.

We are paying for the dresses, and I just need her to come try them on etc, but shes ignoring me.

She even accidentally rang me last night after I text her and hung up, with no reply to the texts.

So I've just sent her a message today saying I need to know if she actually wants to be a BM for me or not. I know shes shy and that might be why she doesn't want to, but I'd rather her say. I've told her I won't be offended if she doesn't want to.

I just need an answer

fawny

Poor you, hope you get an answer from her.

wanchai_2

Oh (((((hugs))))) Mine's being a bit flaky too, sometimes I regret asking her xx

MrsShawToBe

Yeah, still no answer from her. Me and mum have decided we're going to white rose next weekend, so if she doesn't reply by Thursday, I'm just going to message her and tell her I'm assuming she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, so that's that.

sweetilemon

That is such a shame esp as its such an honour. Have you tried phoning her? I would do as your suggesting as if your having problems at this stage its likely to intensify as time goes on.

McKneff

If she is a friend, why dont you ring her, why not go and actually see her..........

I dont hold with these text things to be honest.

Phils_debt

She might of rang you cause she has only enough credit to ring and put phone down so you could ring her back and not be able to text ,pop around to her house

DigForVictory

Start Plan B, now. Think of someone you get on with who will fit the frock, or would respond well to the request that she diet (possibly with you) to fit said frock. Be absolutely open that this is because your BF is giving you grief.

Step back & wait. Either BF will hear about it & lay claim to you & frock & honour etc, or she won't and you have a standby ready to go.

(From the gal who refused bridesmaids as she had enough sisters, and just making me wear a dress was enough hassle. They wore their favourite outfits & so photos of me & sisters look like an Armitage Shanks catalogue - loads of white flanked with red & blue....
Still, it was a happy day.)

Plan A is of course, go talk to her, physically. With Plan B in the back of your mind.

Lavendyr

MrsShawToBe wrote: »

So I've just sent her a message today saying I need to know if she actually wants to be a BM for me or not. I know shes shy and that might be why she doesn't want to, but I'd rather her say. I've told her I won't be offended if she doesn't want to.

I just need an answer

Ugh, feel sorry for you. I had one just like this. thankfully realised before buying the dresses that she was going to be this way & asked her not to be a bridesmaid any more. To be honest I think it was easiest for both of us that way - less pressure all round.

However I echo those who said that you need to talk to her, not text. Difficult to get hold of as she sounds, you need to talk to her either by phone or face to face if need be. Lots of luck and hope you get it sorted.

MrsShawToBe

I would ring her, but I can guarentee she won't answer. She's not a 'talking on the phone' person, even with me.

Going to see her isn't such an easy option. 1. she lives 60 miles from me now I moved, and 2. when I went round before to drop off her invite and a book, she was in her room, her mum told me to come in and go up, and she started shouting at her mum saying she wasn't coming out and I wasn't to go in...

She's also on contract and has unlimited texts. So she did have enough credit to reply.

I don't have anyone else who I could ask to be a BM other than my sisters who are already doing so. So I've sent her sister a message as she's much more reliable and has said she's going to pass the message on for me.

I really don't think she wants to be BM, which is a shame as I can't imagine her not being one, but hey, if she's not comfortable, I need to know now before I spend money on dresses, etc. Already spent £20 on her BM gift too

geri1965_2

What is she, 12 years old? I would bin her off, frankly.