Bridesmaid hell...

stir_crazy

OP, that's a horrible way to find out. I think you did the right thing. Your friend does sound really petty and not really a good friend at all. To think that you are only using her so you have a BM is pretty ridiculous. As MsShopper said, you should put this behind you and focus on the good things.

bubbles0169

from what her dads said it looks like your friend doesnt feel like your treating her like a friend, your only contacting her to talk about wedding stuff not day to day stuff, look at it from her point she wants to be a bm for a friend not someone who drops them(for whatever reason) then comes back when they want something
if this is how your friend feels then you need to turn up there and sort it out, apologise for not being there, youve been tied up with the wedding its understandable but i can see where theyr coming from
hopefully you can both move on and enjoy things together again, even if its at the end of the phone x

mancitychick

MrsShawToBe wrote: »

Should have known. Just spoke to her sister and she said this:

im not sure if she wants to be one i couldnt tell you that. seen as im not here i dnt find out alot. but from what my dad said last night after she went to bed. I think shes slightly annoyed cos when you became friends again you said youd accept leon etc and two mins later you said you was getting married and would she be a bridesmaid... kinda looks like you had a alternative motive to be her friend. But tht could have just been my dad saying that. But dad did also day that you only text chalie really when its something about being a brides maid with the wedding like showing her dresses, and you havent let her be involved in anything else so feels like she shouldnt be one. Also dad said that shes frusted cos with seeing each other the last few times chalies maid the effort to work out with dad how she can get there and back and then last min you
canceled on her. ...... btw this is all what my dad said i cnt say this is what chalie thinks cos iv not heard it from her

Her sister is lovely and luckily I can speak to her.

But after that I've just sent her a message telling her she's welcome at the reception, but I no longer want her as a bridesmaid or at the wedding breakfast.

How old is this friend?

McKneff

At least you know now OP, sorry if I came over as harsh. I just hope you can put it behind you and have a really lovely day with your family and friends.

Good luck and think positive.

Regards
Annie

melancholly

contact from friends works both ways. has this 'friend' made any contact about general chit chat or a catch up herself? no. probably the best outcome really. painful right now, but better than leaving it and dealing with it all the week of the wedding.

MrsShawToBe

bubbles0169 wrote: »

from what her dads said it looks like your friend doesnt feel like your treating her like a friend, your only contacting her to talk about wedding stuff not day to day stuff, look at it from her point she wants to be a bm for a friend not someone who drops them(for whatever reason) then comes back when they want something
if this is how your friend feels then you need to turn up there and sort it out, apologise for not being there, youve been tied up with the wedding its understandable but i can see where theyr coming from
hopefully you can both move on and enjoy things together again, even if its at the end of the phone x

It might have only been contact about the wedding, but its a damn sight more than she ever does She NEVER contacts me first.

MrsShawToBe

mancitychick wrote: »

How old is this friend?

She's 20, shame she doesn't act it hey?

floss2

MrsShawToBe wrote: »

She's 20, shame she doesn't act it hey?

TBH, I got married first time at 20, but 28 years on I wouldn't say that I was grown up or mature at that age.

bubbles0169

right well i think its time to cut your losses, you dont have friendship if its only a one way st, ive found that out and it winds me up but im learning to deal with it, it doesnt help we all live in the same small town but at least you can have a clean break x

globetraveller

I don't think I was being patronising. You never said you had actually phoned her- in fact you had gone to say that you would phone her but.......
As someone looking at purely what you had posted it seemed fairly obvious that she didn't want to be a bridesmaid and what you have said since neither of you could really say you were best friends. Did she feel you asked her because your other friends are now ex friends and you had no other choice? Perhaps it doesnt really need further heartsearching - its run its course. Time to make new friends where you have moved to and go forward from here. You dont need friends for bridesmaids. I had my two sisters. Better to not have someone who will just stress you out- and then you can relax and enjoy your day.