Boys into Ladies Toilets

Zoetoes

kelloggs36 wrote:

BTW my husband takes my 8 year old DD to the toilets and waits outside for her after having taken our 3 year old in with him. She wouldn't dream of going into the mens' toilets!

There are far far less female paedophiles, not sexist or anything, just a fact.

Zoetoes

kelloggs36 wrote:

Oh, and we in this Country have separate toilets for men and women whilst in the rest of Europe, many public toilets are for both sexes. What do you do then?

Then either parent can go in with the kids so it's not a problem!

kelloggs36

In the case of disabled toilets being the baby changing facilities, it clearly says so (which was my point), whereas other disabled toilets do not - therefore they are for disabled people only.

Nicki

I think I made it clear that if there were no mother and baby facilities, I wouldn't have a problem with a mum with a buggy using the disabled loo. I don't myself see the problem with dad taking young boy into mens, and as I think I also said if dad had a girl, I wouldn't have a problem with him taking her into the ladies.

I am a bit amazed to be thought to be taking this debate too personally though! Is this a defensive reaction to someone raising issues which people would rather not think about? Is everyone on the forum who is advocating the use of disabled loos for able bodied children out of pushchairs really in agreement with Smashing that they would do so even if it meant that a disabled person ended up wetting or soiling themselves in the queue outside?

This argument about all having needs does raise my hackles I have to say! Yes, we all have needs but those who are disabled often have special needs (to use the official parlance) - ie needs which are greater than anyone elses. This is why they have some special "perks" like parking slots and loos - which are really only designed to let them lead a life more like everyone elses. I really do think its something you can't understand until you have lived day in day out with it, and some of the posts on here bear this out. The average age for a child with severe learning difficulties to achieve toilet training fully is 9, and some never manage it, and the only way to teach them what they need to do is to take them out of nappies and persevere until either they or you crack. Until you have been stuck in a shopping centre cleaning up a toileting accident of a six year old who didn't get to the loo in time under the disapproving eyes of all the other shoppers and centre staff, you can't really understand the issue IMHO (sorry if that makes me an A$$ again Smashing but its how I see it)

I've never given anyone a load of abuse BTW for doing this, but I have had calm and reasonable conversations with mothers waiting outside the disabled loo for their able bodied children about my child's disability and what it means to her, and I have to say they generally look absolutely mortified at having been caught in the act of something which is whatever way you look at it plain selfish.

Zoetoes

Just to say, if Dad is with us then he can take the little one the loo with him, it's about safety, not completely guarding the kids from life.

Nicki

Lillibet wrote:

Disabled people have a right to be able to go to the toilet, but not an exclusive right!

I'm ducking out of this thread now beacuse I have said all that I wish to say & don't fancy the rukas which will surely follow.

Good idea to duck out then! Who said disabled people had an exclusive right to use the toilet!! I've never been anywhere that has a disabled loo but no able bodied one, though I've been in loads of places where there is an able bodied one and no disabled one.

This argument is about people who are not disabled using disabled toilets when there is no good reason why they should not use the able bodied ones. Why is it such a big deal to take your sons into the ladies if you feel they are still too young to use the mens unaccompanied? I still don't understand this (and I have a 7 year old boy who uses the ladies when out with me, no problem at all)

ooobedoo

I may get beaten about the virtual head but the worse thing that can happen is that somebody either wets themself or poo'ed, on the other hand if a child went into the mens toilets and was physically or sexually assaulted....what is more damaging....it's not a hard one.

I often have to wait for womens toilet and a one of my relations has stress incontinence, she can't jump to the front of the queue can she?She has to wait.

I think that we should all remember that people have hidden disability, so the people that you might demonise could be as entitled to use that facility.

This argument could go on and on, with all parties thinking they are right. Everybody has a different slant on things, it's not bad thing but there is no need to people to get nasty, it's uncalled for and not in keeping with this forum ethos.

iwanttosave_2

My son is 6 and uses the mens toilet. He started going in with his dad to get used to the environment and now happily goes in on his own. Granted he is a very grown up 6 year old, sp not all children might not feel comfortable "going" with other men in the room out in the open.

I stand outside the loo and after about a minute I will shout in and ask if he is alright (had a few men reply yes quite bemused :rotfl:) and if I get no responce or I feel he is in there too long, then I have no qualms of walking into the mens to see where he is.

Oh and I use the disabled toilets (which doubles as a baby room) when I need to go because due to a redesign of the ladies, you cannot find a stroller in there.

Zoetoes

I was waiting in a queue recently and there was a woman in another queue with a boy of about 7, he needed the loo so she told him to go into the ladies (she could see him from the queue which was nearby) on his way in the security guard collared him and said something like 'eh you can't go in the ladies, go in the mens'.

His mum went mad, told the guard 'he shouldn't be telling little boys to go into mens toilets on their own' and that she is his mother and had told him to go in the ladies so he shouldn't be going above what she said or something along those lines, took his name and made a complaint.

I fully agreed with her and so did everyone else in the queue.

Zoetoes

Nicki wrote:

Good idea to duck out then! Who said disabled people had an exclusive right to use the toilet!! I've never been anywhere that has a disabled loo but no able bodied one, though I've been in loads of places where there is an able bodied one and no disabled one.

This argument is about people who are not disabled using disabled toilets when there is no good reason why they should not use the able bodied ones. Why is it such a big deal to take your sons into the ladies if you feel they are still too young to use the mens unaccompanied? I still don't understand this (and I have a 7 year old boy who uses the ladies when out with me, no problem at all)

There is no issue with 7 year old boys using the ladies, what the original post is about is once they get to 8 and they are supposed to use the mens. Can I just ask what you will do when your son is 8? (This is a genuine question not meant in any way to have a dig)