Is there such thing as a happy marriage?

lostinrates

Alikay wrote: »

I feel the same about the OTT staged proposals: We both knew where our relationship was going from quite early on, and talked about our hopes and dreams, so the "proposal" if you can call it that, was pretty low-key, and as much about it being time to inform our families and friends than anything else.

I can never understand some girls weeping with joy as their live-in boyfriend of 7 years whips a rock out of his pocket during a champagne hot air balloon flight (or some other romantic scenario) and claim to be stunned. Have they never talked about their future?

I dunno. I didn't get a very romantic proposal, which is funny because dh is really far more romantic than i am, nor did we have a big wedding. I sometimes think i would have liked a little of each of those to be bigger events. BUT, of course i would rather have my marriage than those two things.

My friend's very unromantic husband proposed to her on a camping holiday, on one knee on a cliff edge. She cried, ..it was only them there. They knew they were getting married, but the gesture and the thought, his declaration to her, mot an audience, was moving to her and i very much understand that.

ciderwithrosie_2

My mum (a wise woman) told me 'don't get married expecting to lean on your husband totally, it won't work - if you're lucky you can lean on each other equally and that way you'll stand upright like a card house' Unfortunately, I feel I've been leant on far too much over the years, lately more than ever, and we've fallen over.

Taadaa

I was proposed to after seven years and l cried. We had talked about it but he left it so long l assuned he wouldn't ever ask, and l was fine with that. It was just me and him and it meant something to me, l wanted to be asked. However l have sometimes thought he asked me because he thought he should rather than thinking it through for himself.

mumps

nickyhutch wrote: »

I did try; I'm sorry, I know that wasn't clear in that post. Some comments do, though, sound a bit "you didn't try hard enough, dear".

I know what you mean. It makes me smile as some people just don't realise what other people go through. It is so easy to say "work at it." I knew when my first marriage was over. Does that mean I walk away top easily? I have been married now for nearly 30 years. Due to a variety of things my DH became severely disabled, I was bring up four children, one a new born baby, when I became his carer and had to earn a living. Do I give up too easily? Don't think so. Don't let people who know nothing about you upset you. I hope everything is working out well for you.

System

I feel I've been leant on far too much over the years, lately more than ever, and we've fallen over.

In my case its the other way round. The thought of being alone scares me witless.