Collection money to support a deceased man's young family

daska

Padstow wrote: »

He may also have his own family who will help. Setting up a fund might even step on their toes, it smacks of them not being able to financially cope.

Yes, definately a knee jerk reaction after such a shock. I'm sure the OP will think differently in the days to come.
Funeral directors are very patient as to when they get paid. They build that in to their costs.

Yes, and they would count as someone else who is "deemed able to pay", hence my pointing that out.

What I was suggesting had nothing to do with setting up a fund.

Justicia

monstermuncher wrote: »

I just feel the need to do something useful, other than make cups of coffee and offer pointless hugs.

I would suggest that they are far, far from that, right now...

merlin68

She can claim widowed parent allowance of £100. 70 a week. Also a funeral grant and bereavment allowance which should cover the funeral.
Her benefits will all go up. So she shoud be better of.
WPA £100.70
CTC £183
CB £46 plus rent and council tax paid. she won't need to struggle. Just help her fill in all the forms and get what she's entitled to. It would be easier for her to give up work, in the circumstances.

Padstow

meritaten wrote: »

I too would wait a little while - and dont do anything without her agreement in advance.
A practical way you could help would be offering to mind the kids while she sorts out the arrangements for the funeral and after that while she sorts out the paperwork and finances.
Unlethey are going to be left in financial dire straitsss you KNOW - then it is a bit premature to start a collection which may not be needed and may be resented by the family.
It was a nice thought tho hun!

No one in this Country is left in dire straits when they have children.

McKneff

A hug is never, ever pointles.

monstermuncher

I can't believe how rude some of you have been! I've lost a good friend of mine, and my best friend is worrying about a million things right now including money. She doesn't have the luxury of not worrying about money until later, she's got children to think about.

In all seriousness, how dare you accuse me of being in bad taste for trying to support a friend? She's worried about this, he's always been terrible with money and they didn't have joint accounts, she has no idea if he's been keeping up his life insurance payments or not. There are lots of complications here, I haven't gone into the detail of those because they're not relevant, but it does mean that the practical things are very important.

Obviously I wouldn't have gone ahead without asking her, I'm not a moron! I wanted to find out details before speaking to her about it which is why I posted this.

I appreciate the majority of people have been helpful so thanks for that, but honestly, telling somebody they're in bad taste is unnecessarily rude at an already very difficult time.

meritaten

I realise that you are upset monstermuncher, but I have just read back and NO-ONE has said that this was 'bad taste'! most of the advice was to wait and see what the financial situation is and with friends agreement then go ahead!
You have taken offence at some very sincere posters and accused people of saying something they didnt say!
for that reason I wont be posting on this thread again.

kj*daisy

Someone did say it was bad taste, I read that. I really feel for the OP and think the tone of some of the replies is harsh. OP I would just be there for your friend at the moment. That is probably worth more than anything to her at the moment, take care.

monstermuncher

McKneff wrote: »

Wow, I would be horrified if a friend of mine did that without asking me, it would be a resounding 'NO' it smacks of begging to be honest.

Ther iinsurance will pay for the funeral, The funeral directors will be happy to wait, there maybe death in service benefit, could there also be widows benefit.

To be honest, I think its in bad taste at the moment to be thinking this way (i mean you) when the poor man hasnt been deceased 24 hours.

This is the post that said I was in bad taste, I wasn't just making that up!

Abbafan1972

Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.:(

I agree with what the previous poster said about just being there for your friend and her children.

Don't jump in with both feet regarding doing collections etc. Offer to help with the kids and any paperwork that needs doing.

Hugs aren't pointless at all, neither are cups of tea.