Collection money to support a deceased man's young family

harrys_nan

CRANKY40 wrote: »

One more thing. My next door neighbour turned up on my doorstep with all the forms that I needed to claim things, and she gave me some very sound financial advice too about dealing with probate myself, which saved me from going to a solicitor and spending a lot of money. When people can't think straight for grief, sometimes it's good to have things done for you, or information given.

I think this is very good advise :T

DevilsAdvocate1

There's a sticky at the top of this forum which is entitled "What to do when a spouse dies" so you could direct her to that.

divadee

im sorry OP for your friends loss.

Its funny how different cultures view things. In singaporian culture when someone dies, all the friends and family of the deceased give money when they go to visit the body or the wake service (service before the proper funeral). They do this so they can help the family out at an important, emoptional and very expensive time. They even have a 'treasurer' at the service! This person writes down all the names and donations given etc... Maybe they have the right way, the culture there is so family orientated, that they all look out for each other. Something we could learn a lot from over here.

irishjohn

monstermuncher wrote: »

She's worried about this, he's always been terrible with money and they didn't have joint accounts, she has no idea if he's been keeping up his life insurance payments or not. There are lots of complications here, I haven't gone into the detail of those because they're not relevant, but it does mean that the practical things are very important.

This is what gave me concerns about this situation. I do not think it appropriate to ask for donations just because the deceased was well liked and may have left his family in a financial mess. We are told his partner works long hours and is well paid but has high outgoings. We do not know if the deceased was in a job which was well paid with death in service benefits. The OP knows much more than we do and may well know more about his job and financial circumstances. I am however surprised and dismayed at the idea of a couple who have had 3 children could have been OK with being in the dark about each other's financial status, not knowing if Life Insurance was being maintained.

In the first instance I think the friends and family should pitch in and provide practical and emotional support. If there is little or no savings, pension, or insurance or perhaps even massive debts and outgoings then the bereaved partner should be strongly guided to a basic funeral to keep cost to a minimum and then perhaps when there is a clearer picture and less emotion, a plan of action to alleviate immediate need could be put in place.

I give this feedback on the basis that the OP has made it clear that there are complications which we do not need to know. I hope therefore my feedback is read with that limited information in mind.

Regardless of the unknown complications - I stand firm, asking for donations - just in case - is wholly inappropriate