Smoking around kids .... how bad??

claire16c

darlyd wrote: »

In kitchen back door is open, dining room patio door is open. Night time living room door closed. Can't see how the smoke can go anywhere near the kids. Think the media has scared many people by saying even the smell of it can cause cancer.

Seriously? The smoke goes through the gaps/cracks around the doors. And when you open and shut the door to get in and out afterwards. Like meritaten said the fire brigade could tell you that!

Im sorry but you are kidding yourself if you really think that by smoking in various rooms and shutting doors, and opening windows you are not harming your kids, and not stinking your house out. I promise if I walked into your house Id smell it in seconds and probably everything in your house smells of it too.

I used to live with a guy at uni who smoked in his room, with the door shut and his window open. It still managed to make the entire corridor smell and even sometimes in my room with my door shut! My friends would come over and mention how much it stank.

I also used to work with a friend who was a smoker, shed go outside the shop to smoke and come back in. Once I said to her god you really stink of it today, and she was totally shocked, she couldnt smell it at all. She then got a load of body spray to try and cover it up as she was horrified. I was horrified she couldnt smell it.

Its the same if you wear the same perfume all the time, you stop being able to smell it as much anymore, except with a smoker its worse because its eroding your sense of smell at the same time anyway.

nzmegs

There have been studies conducted which have shown that a smoker can negatively affect a child's health HOURS after they have last smoked. The smell and harmful toxins cling to clothing and furnishings.

I grew up in a smoky household and while i tried to avoid it as much as possible it is impossible to do so. The smoke travels regardless of what you do to mitigate that. I ended up with glue ear and my brother was hospitalised with asthma as a baby. I am sorry but it is child abuse to smoke (at all) as a parent. I think parents who smoke need to stop making excuses and give up - for their kids if not for themselves.

delain

My mum and her then partner smoked in the.house, myself and my brother really hated it and were very aware that we stank of smoke.

She still smokes indoors, though not when the children are there, as does her OH. If they go there for the day they still smell of smoke when they get home. DD1 stayed there recently overnight and sent extra clothes (vague weather forecast!) And even though some of it had stayed in the bag it still smelt bad.

Op I would raise it with the ex. If his partner thinks its ok to smoke around her own children she won't see the need to not smoke around your child.

I wouldn't be happy in your shoes.

FattyBettyBoo

Op I would raise it with the ex. If his partner thinks its ok to smoke around her own children she won't see the need to not smoke around your child.

That's exactly what I'm worried about. Although she's nice when I challenge it I'm basically going to be telling her she's a bad parent.

duchy

RobertFewtrell wrote: »

i personally think your ex's partner is being selfish it sounds like she has the mentality that (it's not my child so why should i care) mention it to your ex and make him know your feelings

As she smokes around her own three kids too I don't think you're right

claire16c

nzmegs wrote: »

There have been studies conducted which have shown that a smoker can negatively affect a child's health HOURS after they have last smoked. The smell and harmful toxins cling to clothing and furnishings.

I grew up in a smoky household and while i tried to avoid it as much as possible it is impossible to do so. The smoke travels regardless of what you do to mitigate that. I ended up with glue ear and my brother was hospitalised with asthma as a baby. I am sorry but it is child abuse to smoke (at all) as a parent. I think parents who smoke need to stop making excuses and give up - for their kids if not for themselves.

Sounds like my in-laws. My BIL smokes in his kitchen - he apparently thinks its ok when the kids are upstairs... My nephew had glue ear about a year ago as a result. He sees no connection, makes every excuse in the book.

My DH has come back before from staying at MILs where she lets his brother smoke in the house, and even clothes he didnt wear, and were in a zipped suitcase, still manage to stink and have to be washed when he comes home. I cant believe some people actually live like that. I guess its because they dont smell it themselves and are therefore convinced the smoke doesnt linger.

OP - i think you need to mention it to your ex and not his partner. She obviously dont seem any harm/doesnt care whereas perhaps he would.

Marisco

TBH, I wouldn't go in all guns blazing with a superior attitude though. That would be guaranteed to make me say, who the hell does she think she is telling me what I can and can't do in my own house!!! I smoke, but don't smoke around kids, oh doesn't smoke so I either go outside or stick my head out of the window If she is used to smoking around her kids, then it's odds on she hasn't given it any thought at all. I think most people respond better to "do you mind......" rather than "I don't want you doing that". I would be interested to know what happens if she says no though!!

fluffnutter

duchy wrote: »

People who are happy to let their kids see them drinking (which frankly causes far more health and social problems than smoking) .

It's an interesting point but not necessarily an accurate comparison.

Smoking around children is bad for them. Drinking around children could be bad for them. It's all about degree. Your child seeing you have a glass of wine with your meal is highly unlikely to lead to a health or social problem.

Gigglepig

Will be interesting to hear how OP's ex & his girlfriend react, and whether it is all sorted out in the end. Good luck OP!

MandM90

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's an interesting point but not necessarily an accurate comparison.

Smoking around children is bad for them. Drinking around children could be bad for them. It's all about degree. Your child seeing you have a glass of wine with your meal is highly unlikely to lead to a health or social problem.

Thankfully for me, my parents smoking prevented me smoking as an adult, but as a child it ashamed me (none of my friends parents did; I knew our house and my parents smelt of it even though they did it in the extension with doors open and our doors closed it still seeped in), angered me and actually I lost respect for them because of it. They have both now given up and I remember, just after kicking the habit, my mum being shocked that all of a sudden she could smell it all over any smokers house and it repulsed her...why does she think we complained for all those years!?

DW used to have a girlfriend who smoked and made her smoke outside away from the house - they lived around a green - then come in and wash her face and hands. Even then I don't think I could be with a smoker...yuck!

Those who think that closing doors etc. works are just kidding themselves, apart from that you're showing your kids you don't respect your bodies which will either leave them not respecting you or copying the dirty habit.