Smoking around kids .... how bad??

3v3

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

I don't see her to speak to her directly as he collects and returns DD otherwise I'd speak to her directly. I think I'm going to mention it on Friday and see how he reacts. She is really nice in all other ways but very dominant in the relationship so I don't think he'll challenge her. She has 3 kids at home so she is inflicting her own kids to much worse. She must have been doing it for so long that she's convinced herself its ok

Or maybe, it really has never occurred to her?? Yes, hard to believe in this day and age but, it is still a possibility.

"Challenge" is an interesting word - I don't think you need to say it in such a way he feels that a "challenge" is the right way to go about things.

Being concerned and mentioning your concern is about as far as you can go with it. You could ask him if he would speak with her and find a way to compromise so that everyone wins; then hope that a resolution can be found.

Now, what if they are not willing to compromise, what would your options be then? Prevent your dd staying there and restrict her time with her father to a daily outing? Difficult one isn't it.

meritaten

darlyd wrote: »

We smoke. But we smoke in dining room or kitchen when kids are up/home. When they are out/in bed we relax in living room and smoke. But never around them. They also know not to come in kitchen when we are smoking.

It's wrong. You need to have words with your ex. It's up to you/your ex to protect your baby...

darlyd hun - the kids dont have to be in room for the cigarette smoke to affect them - it seeps all THROUGH the house! sorry hun - the only way a smoker can avoid others passive smoking is NOT to smoke in the house AT ALL!
and if you read back you will know that I am a smoker - but I havent smoked IN the house for over 25 years! so I do have sympathy with you - I just think its totally wrong to smoke in the house when you have children or a non-smoking partner!

Darlyd

meritaten wrote: »

darlyd hun - the kids dont have to be in room for the cigarette smoke to affect them - it seeps all THROUGH the house! sorry hun - the only way a smoker can avoid others passive smoking is NOT to smoke in the house AT ALL!
and if you read back you will know that I am a smoker - but I havent smoked IN the house for over 25 years! so I do have sympathy with you - I just think its totally wrong to smoke in the house when you have children or a non-smoking partner!

In kitchen back door is open, dining room patio door is open. Night time living room door closed. Can't see how the smoke can go anywhere near the kids. Think the media has scared many people by saying even the smell of it can cause cancer.

Kaz2904

I smoke but haven't smoked inside since we moved into our house 7 years ago. My SiL smokes in her house and it STINKS! She actually had negative feedback from an ebayer because she sent something stinky and she was surprised. She was even more surprised when she was telling us and we all just nodded . Her eldest has got a real chesty cough a lot of the time. It's sad .
Even worse, she smokes around his friends when they come round to play :eek:

(I sound a bit hypocritical now because my lounge is full of smoke from the lump of wood I've just stuck on the fire )

Sambucus_Nigra

darlyd wrote: »

In kitchen back door is open, dining room patio door is open. Night time living room door closed. Can't see how the smoke can go anywhere near the kids. Think the media has scared many people by saying even the smell of it can cause cancer.

Surely if they smell it - then all they can smell IS the passive smoke. That's why it is called 'passive smoking'. Rather than active smoking.

OP - you are the parent and you don't need people on the internet to tell you that you need to have a word with him about it.

McKneff

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Even living with a smoker is harmful, even if they don't actually smoke around you.

Would you like to elaborate on that please.

meritaten

darlyd wrote: »

In kitchen back door is open, dining room patio door is open. Night time living room door closed. Can't see how the smoke can go anywhere near the kids. Think the media has scared many people by saying even the smell of it can cause cancer.

It just does darlyd - it seeps all through the house and sometimes having a door or window open actually makes it worse! doors dont stop smoke - the fire brigade will confirm that! an open window or door at one end of the room can waft smoke to the other end!
honestly darlyd - its not just a media scare - I tried it for myself using incense sticks - and I could smell them upstairs even though my kitchen window and my patio doors were open.
You cant smell it because you smoke - I bet your kids can!

charlieann

Mupette wrote: »

rather we go to the kitchen and sit around the table in there.

darlyd wrote: »

We smoke. But we smoke in dining room or kitchen when kids are up/home. When they are out/in bed we relax in living room and smoke. But never around them. They also know not to come in kitchen when we are smoking.

In a food preparation area?

OP
You need to raise concerns with ex and if your on good terms with his gf ask she does not smoke around your child. She may be oblivious to this being a problem.

meritaten

I have an addiction Peater - it may not garner much sympathy these days - but nicotine addiction is on a par with crack cocaine - its one of the most difficult addictions to 'kick'. ciggy addicts get no sympathy - compared with alcoholics who play the 'its a disease' card. an addiction is just that - an inability to stop doing something which you know is bad for you and can kill you. but us nicotine addicts on the whole dont mug old ladies for the price of a packet of fags (tho the way the price is going up - that could be next), we dont behave innapropriately - for the most part.
we dont have the problem that the next fag will overdose us as some dealer hasnt cut it properly!
and ITS legal!
Now most of us smokers all think that smoking in a house with children in is wrong. so dont call us 'Morons'!

Peater

Ok, apologies where apologies are due. I guess that i am lucky that i don't have an 'addictive' personality. It gives me very little empathy in this area.

My point about smoking around children still stands. If you realise it's addictive and not that great, why subject children to it aswell? Now, that can surely be agreed upon as being foolish?

The whole leagility thing get's my goat too. Drugs as destructive as nicotine and alcohol are 'fine' because they are controlled and taxed. Drugs that they can't controll the stream of are immediatley 'illegal' and thus 'bad'.