Weepy member of staff

Badger_Lady

I'm generally very strong and practical, but I have suffered from mild depression / stress on a few occasions in the past (generally when moving house, dealing with a relationship break-up etc) and it has made me react exactly the way people describe. I'll be 'normal' in every way - chatty, capable, a hard worker... my only clear symptom is that, on any difficult one-on-one conversation, I'll start tearing up. And I won't be able to control it and I'll be terribly embarassed about it. In fact I'll usually say to the other person "ignore me please - I'm fine really, I can't help it". I certainly don't want to whine to my boss about "oh, life is so hard!" - that's for my Doctor to listen to. If someone starts being sympathetic or asking questions, I'll just cry more and more and fear that I'm losing all self-image! I want to keep my personal issues and emotions OUT of the office as far as I possibly can.

Once I recognise the symptoms (which I do myself now but I had to be prompted the first time), I either make the necessary changes to my lifestyle or I see the Doctor and he prescribes a little time off. When I phone my boss, the reaction is something like "yeah I thought something was wrong - see you soon". And that's fine. Once it's diagnosed, I don't mind at all - it's moved from 'unprofessional' to 'unwell' so I'm not embarassed any more.

The lady we're talking about could just be weepy in normal life, or like me she could be just coping with being full-time mum to rowdy kids, struggling hard to keep out of debt, working at a new job etc... i.e. just getting on with her generally stressful life and just having the occasional 'leak' to relieve the pressure. Either way, I'd be firmly on the side of ignoring her teariness.

timeou

You know, I've bever considered that it may be a form of mild depression. I've had an eventful life - alcoholic mother, some real issues with being controlled by her and being fearful of her - then breaking away to the first boyfriend I had, marrying him in haste, repenting in leisure. Then turning my life around, marrying my fab hubby and having 2 fab kids.
I work full time too in a job that I'm totally disillusioned in and feel totally undervalued in. Combining this with running a home, kids etc I'm often emotionally drained.
Could be that I guess. Should I acknowledge it though? Because I'm sailing through ok...

Badger_Lady

timeou if you're OK then don't worry about it! I usually have to do something fairly drastic to get out of my slumps - move to a new town, change careers, dump the OH, often all at the same time! It's more than many people would be willing to do.

It depends on whether your weepiness is giving you a sign that there's something in your life that doesn't suit you (as it is for me!). As opposed to being part-and-parcel of the life you've chosen (i.e. a sacrifice you're willing to make), or just your 'normal'.

If it has been getting in your way, there's no harm in speaking to the Doctor. I felt really weird bringing it to my GP's office the first time, but he was totally prepared for what I told him and treated it just like any other illness - he had a little test to measure my symptoms and some ideas on how I could cure myself. He offered me a sick note for a fortnight off work to recharge and I took his advice. Each time since then (different doctors) it's been just the same, and I've been back to my happy confident self lickety-split

I don't want it to sound like I'm frequently getting depression, by the way, because I'm really not - in 10 years I've had 3-4 bouts and each one has lasted for less than 6 months. It can drag on for ages before I notice it but, once I've recognised the symptoms and started acting on it, it clears up very quickly. The worst one was last year when I was made redundant and in the same stroke lost my entire social life. I took a temporary job that I hated, with a long commute and detestable colleagues, and got to the point where I was crying in the toilets. That was the first and only time the Doctor ever put me on pills. But within 6 weeks of taking the pills I got a job offer in London and found a cool flat to live in weekdays, quit the temporary job and I was happy as Larry again - chucked my tablets in the bin!

Bangton

All this sounds like to me is that she doesnt like making mistakes! Neither do I...I don't cry but secretly get irritated and then look to see if I have actually made the mistake in the first place! Some people will do as I do, some will get teary. I actually don't see the big deal. I'd ignore it.

She sounds fine in every other way and seems to interact with people so if she did happen to have depression or personal problems I'm sure other things will become apparent over time!

PurplePow

timeou wrote: »

I am EXACTLY the same as you. I've worked for the same organisation for 18 yrs and have always been like it. I'm confident, outspoken and will stand my ground over issues but the minute I'm in my appraisal, or if I need to bring anything up with my manager I find myself tearing and my voice shakes up despite telling myself that I SHOULDNT BE DOING THIS _ THERE IS NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT. Its as though its a physical reaction to authority!

I wish I could stop it tho as my !!!!! of a boss now feels she can walk all over me....that's another story......

Ah it's so awful isn't it! I am also confident day to day, very chatty etc so it's really strange! I hate it too, every single time my head's asking 'why are you crying?! stop it!' I suppose some of us are just wired that way lol!