Weepy member of staff

heretolearn_2

OK, we have a lady working for us who is a bit weepy - she hasn't outright cried but she tears up quite easily at times when her work is under question a bit. We are quite nice people here, she is a returner to work after having children and we know her confidence is very low, but she's been here about 6 months now and really shouldn't be this nervous still IMO. She is basically doing ok, quite good at some things (we do give credit where it is due, she's won employee of the month once so far for having a pro-active and helpful attitude) but still makes the odd mistake/mishandles things. When we talk to her about these times is when she starts to get upset. I think she is mainly cross with herself/has a wobble confidence-wise etc... it's not that we are shouting at her or anything like that!

So my tactic so far has been to completely ignore it and pretend it isn't happening as I figure she'll probably feel more embarrassed if someone draws attention to her reaction. Her direct supervisor takes a more sympathetic approach, makes her a cup of tea and tells her not to get upset.

If you are a bit of a weepy drawers - which approach would you prefer and which would help you get over it sooner?

tinshed

I will more than likely get shot down in flames here, but personally id ignore her. Six months in and shes still "weepy" and gets upset that shes made a few mistakes! Seriously think she needs to get a grip.

heretolearn_2

Seriously think she needs to get a grip. - yes, on a personal level I agree but on a professional level I can see that she's having a few troubles adjusting to the responsibilities of work again and is just being a bit of a typical longish term SAHM in having lost a lot of confidence, so don't want to be hard on her about it. IT wouldn't help anyway. I spent about 3 years blushing bright red at the slightest thing when I returned to work even though I felt quite confident inside, and people who know me now wouldn't believe it.

Just was hoping for some views from others who get the same way (all welcome of course).

dawyldthing

i'd take her to oneside and ask where shes having problems and try and be a mentor to her, cos she may have underlying problems as well so a helpful person asking if they can help may help her open up

dizzyrascal

When I was having personal problems it did affect my work and my manager was very understanding and recommended counselling. I would not have considered this myself but I went and it did help. They helped me with coping strategies and came up with solutions or help with my problems, or even where they could not offer solutions they could signpost me to people who could. It was nice to get my problems off my chest and my manager felt that she had helped without it getting too personal for her.
My organisation has its own counselling service so I was lucky that it was part of the service (so to speak) but I would recommend it. Perhaps she is still suffering from Post natal depression or there may be family or financial factors that are at issue.
I love my job but we are not machines and sometimes we all need a bit of help.

Mark_h_4

Have you asked her if she is suffering from post natal depression maybe? its more common than some people think and I have seen the effects of it. Its not at all nice.

heretolearn_2

her youngest is 9 years old - don't think it can be that :-)
good idea though

missprice

just a quick thought and a bit left field
but is her blood sugar ok
I ask because on a morning I cry when no one washed the dishes last night (sad but true:o )
but its because I have a low blood sugar and this used to be the norm that I would cry for no apparent reason because I had not eaten for a while

quietheart

oh heretolearn you have made me laugh with your 'weepy drawers' reference. brilliant.
i think you're doing the right thing. go with your instinct. i think you would've made the judgement call had she wanted to talk about it - meaning you would've picked up on it.
most i'd do if it happens again is 'are you ok?'.

LadyMissA

If you know her confidence is very low if it was me who had to tell her about her work I would just take her to an office and say don't get upset of feel it's a jab at you as it's not but we all make mistakes and these things happen. Maybe then she will learn not to take it too personal.

Blackpool_Saver

Poor woman, she is probably one of these people who have been forced back into work when they are not well enough. There could be any reason, she is probably on the edge, got a terminal illness could be anything. Try to befriend and talk to her.