Weepy member of staff

blossomhill_2

Just discuss it with her, in confidence

Say, when she is in an office with you or wherever you do your confidential staff feedback " I notice that you look a little upset when we discuss performance. Obviously it is a necessary part of management but is there anything in particular that upsets you?"

Don't !!!!!foot around enlisting friends or trying not to criticise,or assuming its because of any personal reason; if your comments are constructive and not made in front of others then this is just another aspect of her performance that needs to be addressed.

She may give you a reason why she wells up, deny it or may say she doesn't like your management style and it upsets her but whatever, the subject will be in the open between the two of you

Edit -I have just noticed you say "When WE talk to her about these times ..." - I sincerely hope she isn't receiving comments about her work in anything other than a one-to-one situation

Errata

When you notice her becoming upset why not say "You seem upset Tiny Tears, can you tell me what's upsetting you?" If she says 'nothing' then you can have a clear conscience about ignoring it.

heretolearn_2

ever start anything and wish you hadn't? Now the poor woman is being hated on by everyone else in the firm....

good grief.:rotfl:

Googlewhacker

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Hi. just read my initial response and can't see anywhere where I said sounds like, please can you show me

ummm yeah I apologise, I have looked through and u haven't said 'sounds like' so I have no clue where I got that from

persa

Well, do you want to get to the root of why she's upset, or do you just want her to stop crying?

If she's obviously getting upset but more or less keeping it together and you ask her sympathetically what's wrong, you'll open a floodgate.

If you want to try and deal with the root of it, next time you discuss her work, make sure you do so away from everyone else (meeting room maybe?) and stress that you're not attacking her work, you're simply trying to help her improve and if she feels you could be supporting her better (more training for example) all she has to do is ask.

Of course, as suggested, the tears may not be work related, in which case there's not much you can do about it.

Blackpool_Saver

Googlewhacker wrote: »

ummm yeah I apologise, I have looked through and u haven't said 'sounds like' so I have no clue where I got that from

thanks it's these boards, the stuff you read on here is enough to send anyone batty

lynzpower

heretolearn wrote: »

Ok can we not all let our imaginations run away with us; she does not have any illnesses terminal or otherwise, she is not a reluctant returner, she is not depressed etc etc. She likes working here, she likes her job, she's really happy with it - thrilled to bits to be back in a 'real job' as she puts it (she worked for us in a minor way previously and then applied when this role came up.) She doesn't have any big problems that i am aware of and she does chit chat about new partner/ex partner/kids/her dad's recent illness etc perfectly normally and without getting upset!

She is just getting a bit over emotional when she feels she hasn't done well/the right thing.

But how do you know that?

Just as an example over the last year I have been increasingly weepy, going bright red when spoken to, struggling to have conversations with people, tearful at the very slightest suggestion I had cocked up ( even if it was small mistakes) This was not like me at all , I just presumed life was getting on top of me.

I have been diagnosed with hyperactive thyroid that seems to be the reason for this ( i didnt go to the drs about this, but what I thought was an unrelated health problem) since i have been on medication my mood has improved quite a bit although i am experiencing other side effects.

In any case you should be undertaking a risk assessment of all staff and all parts of the org to identify causes of stress in the workplace in line with legal obligations and talking to staff about anything that you as an employer can do to prevent stress in the workplace occurring. All staff should be involved in these RAs, obviously.

Emmzi

Mark_h wrote: »

Have you asked her if she is suffering from post natal depression maybe? its more common than some people think and I have seen the effects of it. Its not at all nice.

Never ever EVER guess at a diagnosis! Especially one with a gender bias!

Describing symptoms you see and asking about them is fine. (eg "you appear to smell of vodka")

Step AWAY from the sex discrimination case...

Sooki

heretolearn wrote: »

ever start anything and wish you hadn't? Now the poor woman is being hated on by everyone else in the firm....

good grief.:rotfl:

I don't know why you find peoples suggestions funny.

You asked for peoples perspectives and are brushing off the ones that make you look at yourself. No one is perfect, and maybe you are the one that can't hack criticism if this is your reaction!

You are actually coming over like David Brent!

lynzpower

Sooki wrote: »

I don't know why you find peoples suggestions funny.

You asked for peoples perspectives and are brushing off the ones that make you look at yourself. No one is perfect, and maybe you are the one that can't hack criticism if this is your reaction!

You are actually coming over like David Brent!

Maybe thats why shes so tearful