No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

hoglet121

awww Polly - not pathetic at all, just different! Tho I do admit we don't pop over to Aussie to go to Ikea! We're heading over again in May but are just taking carry on luggage so not much point in seeing what they've got.

Have been on the indoor bike in preparation - and deeply unpleasant it is too!

pollyanna_26

How are you all today ? I am not liking Doris one little bit and the sooner she leaves the better . The full force began about three hours ago and she's due to move away around 6pm .
I think I've either lost or had lifted some roof tiles but so much is flying outdoors I 'm not about to wrap up and investigate . Trees are down in the area and I'm watching one of my standards in the front garden which is bending back and forth . Luckily it's only about 4ft high , the top is clipped into a ball so shouldn't do much damage if it goes . My silver chimes daffs which are in full bud are flat on the ground but hopefully as happened in previous storms they'll survive to flower as the stems don't look to have snapped .
Will be a comfort food day and I'm glad I decided to go out tomorrow instead of today .
Keep safe all and Fuds , Floss , SM and AOT and any others who seem to be taking a hammering empathy and good luck .
Maybe we should all visit Hoglet
polly x

Floss

Ooh I'd love to go to NZ! Doris is trying her best, am on days off so haven't been along the Prom today (route to & from work), but our house faces east, so most weather lands on the back So far it appears that our recent rendering & roof works have kept us watertight but I daren't go to the allotment due to the risk of branches and/or debris flying around.

fuddle

I'll swap hoglet IKEA for her weather

You're hanging in there Polly and floss! She's about to hit us and due to dump 5 hours of snow as she passes.

I'm preparing a cottage pie ahead of tonight as DH is busy off paying his fishing club subs, then finishing g my cupboard shelving and compiling a 'job to do/need to buy in order to complete jobs' list as he's taken a few more days off work to get us organised.

It's been a difficult morning for me and emotions have hit home re: mam's house. All this time it's been boxes off as pain but that house is my childhood family home where we lived happily as a family of 4 until my dad died when I was 10. It's my Dad's house too. It's my inheritance and because we're refitting the bathroom and kitchen with some of it we have thought of ways best to do it. Obviously we want to keep the cost down but I also need to keep the faff/mess/project management problems down too because of my stress levels and health. The solution, which feels right but is loaded with emotion, is to use the company my dad was a kitchen fitter for when I was a little girl. He'd be chuffed I'm supporting local fitters and business I'm sure of it. Of course It's in me to try to claw back price and I'm sure if we went to the builders merchants, hired our own workmen we would bring it in cheaper but this just feels right in every way. I would never make a business woman, I act on emotion too much but conscience wise I'm happy (and sad) that we're going this way. If it's less stress too then there's more to life. The bonus I guess is that they are very small spaces. That in itself should keep the cost down.

I'm far away from all of this being over and find myself talking aloud when I'm in the house alone, inviting mam and dad in. I feel them here, I feel the warmth. I never felt it in mam's house. It felt cold, unloved and pained. I don't care if you think I've cracked. I swear I feel them. I'm sorry if this has been hard for you to read Lainey. The pain is different as time goes on. It wanes and life is happy but when the sadness visits, it's short lived but cuts deep. I will be fine in a short time.

pollyanna_26

I really wish I could give you a real life hug Fuds . Everything has been so full on for you that the quiet moments lead to the stuff you locked away to get through . It is healthy you come here and discuss these feelings as they happen and is a safe outlet . We have all been through similar but you may possibly have been challenged in too many ways at the same time .
It has been years building and it isn't going to go away fast but I promise you you will process the feelings one by one and find comfort and peace . Some feelings stay for ever but that's being human and missing those we love plus the what ifs and if onlys .
You'll get there sweetheart and we'll be with you every step of the way .
Big Hug
polly x

candlelight_2013

Fuds, I couldn't put it better than Polly has. Mam and Dad will always be with you, the feelings you have when you see or think of something you all shared when you were younger. This is our nature and as Polly says you have had such a lot to process coupled with your recent ill health.

Your Mam and Dad know that you are now settled and are just keeping an eye on you. Of course it depends on what our beliefs are, but I find it a comfort to think my Mum and Dad can still see me.

Enjoy these moments

Much love

Candlelightx

Floss

Fuddle I love that your mam & dad are part of your new home, just as they'd be if they we're still with you. Get all your outside bits done then hunker down and stay snug!

LaineyT

Oh my dear Fuds, it does me good to read such things, to know that whilst happieness and contentment comes back the pain still cuts deep. I talk to Mum every day, whenever I walk into our spare room I can smell her perfume even though the bed has been changed long ago and the room cleaned. When I was shopping on Monday a mother and daughter walked past me, arm in arm chatting, the same as we always did and the pain nearly felled me. I wanted to grab the daughters arm and say stop, cherish the moment, don't take it for granted, make the most of it, but of course I didn't. Guess it's all stages of the grief.

pollyanna_26

Lainey I think we all grow up taking things and people for granted , we don't have the wisdom to look ahead and picture a different time ahead . I think both yourself and Fuds are helping each other right now by coming together here and also letting us support you in our small way .
The scent of perfume I understand although it wasn't sweet perfume but my dads players weights cigarette smoke even though he died in the same year as JFK I still sense that whiff from time to time and feel him near .
Memories keep loved ones with us , as a family we often laugh at mum's odd sayings and use them ourselves to this day as do the younger generations . None of have any idea how they originated or how we sort of knew their meaning but we do .
I'm not a churchgoer any more although I visit a number for the peace and beauty . I truly believe the spirit of those we loved and essence of who they were remains and they are still near .
Terry Pratchett from Going Postal .
Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken ?
Speak those names both of you whether aloud or in your mind . Feel them near because they are xx
polly

candlelight_2013

Horrible Doris is still with us, my goodness someone has made her cross. Walking back from the hairdressers was so awful, and it is bin day today so bins blown over all over the place. I am told she should have blown over by 6 tonight, I do hope so, I find winds quite frightening.

The young men are getting on well with our patio, we decided to extend it because there is a large flower bed and Himself is not up to heavy digging any more, and it will give us more room for sitting in the sun :)

Stay safe everyone and hope we have a peaceful night

Candlelightx