No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

fuddle

Lainey you must must share the tough parts. To see you post your inner most feelings is a comfort because positivity, however much I like it and sign up to the ethos, doesn't always have a place. Where else can you let those thoughts out, and let them out you must.

Dontcha be worrying about me. I'm so far down that journey now, I'm ok. your turn and I will try my best to prop you up like you have me because reading my hurt must have been so very hurtful for you.

Lainey life is about one day at a time isn't it. I wish for you sleep so you can remain strong enough mentally to cope with the sadness. I am very sad for you but so relieved that your mum is in the hospice now, is cared for so you can just love.

candlelight_2013

Oh Lainey, I am so sorry you are going through this. I remember it so well with both Dad and then Mum. In one way you want it to be over so they are not suffering any more, and on the other hand you can't bear to lose them.

Everything you are feeling, as you must know when your Dad died, is so normal, although I know life isn't normal for you at the moment. Your Mum's frail body is now shutting down, and the sleeping is protecting her from most of the pain. Just be sure she knows you are there and that she isn't alone and that you all love her. Even if she isn't able to acknowledge you they do say the hearing is the last sense to go.

Sending you gentle hugs and lots of them , you are never far from my thoughts

Much love

Candlelightx

[Deleted User]

LAINEY my friend when it rains roses bloom and make the world beautiful, would that I could take the burden of sorrow from you for a while and give you some respite, all we can do is to care for and about all of you and let you know you have friends who would do virtually anything to change the situation if it were possible. Stay strong lovely girl we're with you xxx.

LaineyT

Thank you all, your support means a great deal to me and it's so good to know you are standing at my shoulder, helping me to cope x
With Mum now and she does seem a tad more comfortable with no nausea so fingers crossed the new medication is finally kicking in.
You are right Candlelight, all these feelings are familiar from when Dad died, think the difference is that then I focused on staying strong so that I could support Mum through it all, I felt that I had a purpose? This time everything feels so final, that I will be an orphan, if that isn't a daft thing to say at the age of 52! For the first time in my life I am facing no longer being a daughter in the day to day reality of the word, in my more positive moments I think of it being a new chapter in my life with new challenges and goals, then the hurt kicks in and knocks me low again. The times are certainly a'changing xx

[Deleted User]

Oh love, you'll ALWAYS be mums daughter, just because she isn't physically present doesn't change a single thing, she will be with you and she will still love you and you'll feel her presence and take great comfort from it. Our loved ones don't leave us they just move on a different stage of their lives and that's all that changes, not the love or the belonging. My dear old dad wouldn't dare leave me, heaven knows what kind of a pickle I'd get into without him!!!

candlelight_2013

Oh Lainey, Himself and I have often said we are orphans. His Mum died when he was 21, just after we were engaged, and his Dad much later

My Mum was in hospital for almost 3 months before she died in the March(actually on DGD1s 13th birthday). She knew she was dying, and I was going to be 60 in the May, and I jokingly said to her I suppose I have to buy my own birthday card then. She gave me a wry smile.

All your friends here will be sending you the strength to cope with everything that will happen, and you are very lucky to have Capt. S and stepsons and your lovely brother and SIL. You are a lovely close family and somehow you will manage to get through this.

It is good Mum hasn't been sick today, so therefore more comfortable.

Much love to you

Candlelightx

scottishminnie

Oh Lainey, I so wish I could give you a huge hug right now. I'm so pleased mum seems more comfortable though, it makes being with her slightly easier if you know she's not in pain or distressed.

G

[Deleted User]

I've got a little montage of photographs on my wall with 7 generations of ancestors on it, 8 if we count the new boys and although I only know my father from those who have gone ahead I feel the 'family' continuity both ways back and to the future. It makes me feel very grounded to be able to see their faces, to have visited the Island in Sweden where they lived and to have walked the ground they farmed and tended. I am part of something much wider than just 'us' and that helps so much in belonging and being family even though we are now the elder statesmen and women, it's a real comfort.

fuddle

Lainey I too pondered over having no living parents left and the reality of it is it is the hardest part to get over for me but it's not hurtful really, it's more a lost feeling, being shook up. I guess we'll spend the next year trying to find our new niche in our new lives together.

Floss

It's an odd feeling being an adult orphan with siblings; I don't think I actually grieved for my dad until I lost my mum, as I still had a parent to look up to.

Lainey, cherish this time, I am sure you are already talking to your mum and reminiscing your family memories in those moments, as has been said, hearing is almost the last thing to leave us and she will appreciate the gentle reminder of your memories.

Please take care of yourself, and let Capt Scarlet look after you.

Big hugs from Blackpool
Floss xx