help. I feel like an alien.

VfM4meplse

chocolate_dream wrote: »

I then just thought I was good at passing exams and had picked easy A levels (Maths, Chemistry and Physics).

Just FYI, you picked the hardest of the lot - Pure Maths is considered to be the most challenging A-level (or at least it was in my time), and comparatively few people "get" phsyics and chemistry.

Now if you had said sociology, PE and general studies I might have agreed .

chocolate_dream

VFM4- thanks, I don't know what to think but it really helps to have a different perspective. I think on the flip side, to go with your argument, often the reason I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, is that I can see so many different perspectives I don't know where the balance is as I can see it from everyone's perspective so I don't know which argument to prioritise. I guess my point is that I have arguments which support all, and no diagnoses at the same time. All I know is that I do have some social issues. I'm a teacher. I do teach some kids with aspergers. If I was honest with myself I think sometimes I think I can be similar to them, I have some characteristics that I don't notice in most people which worries me, in fact the thing I'm referring to really is something unusual with eye contact. I read that aspergers give little or no eye contact, yet the kids I teach with it seems to be unusual eye contact, but I wouldn't say it was little or none like I'd read, just like they're looking at you more intently than usual to see how they're supposed to respond, I do think I do that. Other than that I'm not really sure that I'm so similar but I do think I'm pretty bad at seeing myself through others' eyes so I couldn't swear to it.

chocolate_dream

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Just FYI, you picked the hardest of the lot - Pure Maths is considered to be the most challenging A-level (or at least it was in my time), and comparatively few people "get" phsyics and chemistry.

Now if you had said sociology, PE and general studies I might have agreed .

LOL My degree was maths.:o

VfM4meplse

chocolate_dream wrote: »

LOL My degree was maths.:o

Clever girl! :T

I wouldn't read too much into eye contact, it's the sum of the parts that make up the whole. I think you have a real analytical ability but perhaps need to step back from this in social settings?

chocolate_dream

VFM4- what you say sounds really useful, but what exactly do you mean? this analytical thing? You're probably right. Am I analytical? too analytical?

meritaten

chocolate_dream wrote: »

VFM4- thanks, I don't know what to think but it really helps to have a different perspective. I think on the flip side, to go with your argument, often the reason I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, is that I can see so many different perspectives I don't know where the balance is as I can see it from everyone's perspective so I don't know which argument to prioritise. I guess my point is that I have arguments which support all, and no diagnoses at the same time. All I know is that I do have some social issues. I'm a teacher. I do teach some kids with aspergers. If I was honest with myself I think sometimes I think I can be similar to them, I have some characteristics that I don't notice in most people which worries me, in fact the thing I'm referring to really is something unusual with eye contact. I read that aspergers give little or no eye contact, yet the kids I teach with it seems to be unusual eye contact, but I wouldn't say it was little or none like I'd read, just like they're looking at you more intently than usual to see how they're supposed to respond, I do think I do that. Other than that I'm not really sure that I'm so similar but I do think I'm pretty bad at seeing myself through others' eyes so I couldn't swear to it.

my GS has Aspergers hun - and he does make eye contact - my nephew has severe Autism and he makes eye contact too (because he has been taught to).
They are human beings - and as such have thier own particular eccentricities!
My GS also prefers the world of black and white, right or wrong, he doesnt really see gray areas. its either truth or lies! BUT - he is funny, lovable and now his problems are more understood within the family and allowances are made - and his medication is taken - he is happy. he also excels at pure subjects like maths, he is highly intelligent - but has problems in social settings and in gaining and maintaining friendships. and in appropriate behaviour!
You may have Aspergers or another problem - you may not. you have problems and they need to be helped.

Sooki

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I can appreciate you're difficulty OP - but reading this thread has made me laugh, suddenly everyone's a doctor and ready to leap in with a diagnosis! Stick with your own GP, it's unlikely that you're going to be able to shop around until you find someone that agrees with you. I personally think you have far too much insight and self-awareness for Asperger's to even be a consideration. But you are undoubtedly feeling down, with good reason.

Well put, I've been thinking along those lines too!


OP there is often too much dynamic going on in any workplace to know who you friends are any way, you said you work in a school and I've heard that school staffrooms are difficult places.

Next lunch time scan round the room I bet there is an alpha group all fawning over each other I wouldn't try too hard to get into this, I bet there are others that are dotted around in a similar position to you if you scan around with fresh eyes.Also, Have you any other work experience outside of the educational experience.

You also sound like you might not be acheiving your full potential or stretched enough work wise and this is why your not meeting you intellectual equals and you sound like your not being stimulated enough mentally.

Could you afford to take a sabbatical and do something different and more challenging for a year?

Hanging_by_a_thread

chocolate_dream wrote: »

when I got straight A's at A level... I then just thought I was good at passing exams and had picked easy A levels (Maths, Chemistry and Physics). I still do think I'm dumb, I may know how to pass exams but that's just jumping through hoops really, there's so much more to life than that, there are so many people who can see all the riches of life and all the little details and are able to convey them. In my view that is real intelligence.

To get straight A's at A level is exceptional and there is nothing easy about Maths, Chemistry or Physics.

I noticed in an earlier post of yours that you were surprised by the responses on this thread, expecting to not get the helpful and concerned responses that have been forthcoming. Why do you think people would not care or want to show you understanding? Do you know why you fear people so much?

chocolate_dream

I'm afraid of rejection. I think I just expect it. I'm not blaming anyone, it is my doing I'm sure I just don't really know how it call came about. I know that a lot of people think my subjects are hard, but also things that other people find easy, like just chatting, describing or observing, I find exceptionally hard too, it looks so easy when everyone else does it.... I'm useless at dating and that's upsetting, I seem to always screw up and I think it's that I just can't play the game.

chocolate_dream

I don't really know about the intellectual equals, I always struggle with that concept, I always thought I was dumb because everyone's good at different things. I wish I could change career but financially it's not really viable at this stage. What I wouldn't give to be able to turn clocks back:-) just imagine if you could do that, with the benefit of hindsight of course:-)