help. I feel like an alien.

Sooki

chocolate_dream wrote: »

Also, I don't seem to be genuinely interested in anything, I really do mean that literally. I try to go to badminton or dance class or swimming but drop out as I just can't get enjoyment out of it. I think that's a big part of the problem,. I can't be interested in anything but although I have tried to force myself to be it just doesn't seem to work.

It sounds like you are joining things to meet people rather than because your interested this will quickly make you feel dejected.

Have you any interests in more intellectual things that aren't necessarily classed as hobbies such as politics, religion, ancient history, geology, nature etc.. This way you can research your subject and join in things at your own level of comfort. Your obviously a caring soul what about volunteering you might surprise yourself.

chocolate_dream

meritaten wrote: »

many conditions have symptoms of 'dissassociation', so I would hesitate to try to diagnose from just this. But, I would think that your GP is your first port of call hun. go along and tell him/her what you have just told us - if you find it difficult to do that, then print out your first post and ask him/her to read it.
you are not alone feeling like this - a good part of the population do too! but, by getting your GPs help and a diagnosis - if indeed you need one - can open doors for you.
good luck - please go see the GP and post back and let us know how you are.

What is dissassociation? I'm not medically educated but find science things pretty easy to understand.

whitewing

If there is a recognised medical condition for you, it may be hard to diagnose - after all, to be so successful, you must have learnt to hide it well. But you should persevere. Perhaps you could speak to Mind or another mental health charity. They may be able to help you help yourself in terms of explaining your 'symptoms'.

saterkey

I was a away at school from 9-16 and was very lonely, kids are cruel, not just to me but one of the things they did was to send people to coventry for weeks on end, noone would talk to you at all, this happened at least three times to me for months, so eventually i gave up trying with people and consequently put my head in a book most of the time and ignored them. Teachers there never gave cuddles or really talked to you. so as an outcome ive always felt quite isolated and found it hard to talk to people even as i grew up, parents were cold,although my aunt made up alot in that direction. I still find situations difficult, my partners quiet so find it hard sometimes. and also to make friends, so there are a few of us out there.
Anyhow to combat this ive joined classes, social groups etc, and I volunteer quite a bit. Getting a pet will give you the unconditional attention, volunteering will give you like minded people and something to talk about at the same time. Keep practising otherwise you do lose confidence over time and its easier not to bother trying. Maybe you start a conversation about the weekend, with a ready made "I watched a great film on the cinema, name of film, have you seen it?" loudly, looking at them so they cant not answer you, have a couple of sentences practiced so you dont dry up. Listen to their conversations so you can maybe join in occasionally.
Hope things improve for you, wishing you the best Julie

meritaten

It means you dont feel 'connected' . either to the world or people or things around you. Its a bit of a blanket term - but seems to describe what you are feeling.
It is possible to diagnose Aspergers in adults - go back to the GP and ask for a referral to a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist specialising in ASD. or Autistic Spectrum Disorders. dont let the wording scare you hun - this covers a large range of disorders - from fairly mild to severe.

and tell your GP that the 'successful' life is outward trappings - Inside you are suffering!

chocolate_dream

I don't believe anyone I met would think I have a problem, they would just think I'm a bit shy I guess. Thing is I think that people who are open perhaps can show their good and bad sides but essentially deal with their problems and seem at peace with themselves. I think that shy people can come across 'nice' but it's sometimes, well at least in my case (I can't speak for 'all shy people' by any means), through lack of confidence in being open about problems and then you have many unresolved issues building up and up and it feels really unhealthy because you stop feeling like you know anything anymore and perhaps are liable to unknowlingly react inappropriately to a situation. I'm sure I can be irrational sometimes, although perhaps that's just PMT...

Jezminda

I will get my partner to PM you when she gets home from work if you like - she is obviously much more use than I.

[Deleted User]

I immediately thought of Aspergers too. If not diagnosed, it can lead to depression because you feel different and misunderstood.
It is difficult to diagnose as an adult, but not impossible. My ex has it and he is like a new person now that he is aware of it.

Check out this forum http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html hope it helps

chocolate_dream

Jezminda wrote: »

I will get my partner to PM you when she gets home from work if you like - she is obviously much more use than I.

That's interesting, and unusual I think . Really because I assumed anyone with diagnosed aspergers to be male. I heard that it's really unusual for women to be tested. I'm female too so it helps, perhaps it shows itself differently in men and women, which is why fewer women are ever considered to have it. Anyway, I'd really appreciate that, thank you Jezminda.:o

chocolate_dream

I have an ex boyfriend who was very very socially aware. I talked to him about the possibility of me having aspergers. He didn't really know much about it but I think there were two sides to the argument; for- I do struggle to read people's faces. It takes me time to interpret responses if I'm there. But against; If I'm told about a situation I am very good at understanding why someone may respond in a particular way or how they may feel, what their motives may be. This latter of course does not require any interpretation of body language though. I also find, and I really don't know if this is normal, but I find it plain weird, that when I'm in a room and watching and listening to someone I can draw relatively little from the interaction. Yet if I watch the same interaction back on video I can see and interpret so so much more. I'd have thought that with aspergers you genuinely can't interpret body language, yet to me it's odd that if I remove myself from a situation it becomes pretty clear. I can't understand why that might be. It seems totally illogical. Perhaps it's normal?