help. I feel like an alien.

chocolate_dream

Thanks. Your opinions really do help. I wouldn't rule out aspergers by any means, having said that I had a pretty screwy childhood... dad in prison in communist country and if you've read 1984 I honestly did believe that every move you made was being watched. I couldn't relate to other kids here because I didn't understand english and there were loads of things which perhaps could have caused similar issues to aspergers I guess so it could be either.

Jezminda

Have you considered going to the GP asking for counseling? It's how my partner got diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult.

jollymummy

I'm so sorry you feel this way, as others have said I'd definitely go an see your GP, seeing a counsellor could definitely help as you do sound depressed. perhaps you need to build up your self esteem but need help to see you through.
I did Cognitive Behaviour Therapy years ago and it really set me back on the right path after what my doctor called a burn out. It was useful as if I begin to feel myself going the same way I now recognise the warning signals and know what to do.
Also, I know this sounds a bit simplistic but how about joining a class of some kind to build new relationships and you will have a shared subject to talk to people about.
Do you have any interests or is there anything you've ever fancied learning to do? it could be a new start for you.

Sooki

If your low, you probably don't go outside in the day a lot and lack of vitamin D can give you depression.

Try taking cod-liver oil, and if you can find one with a vit d supplement even better.

If your not comfortable at lunch time go for a walk to get some sunshine, will get better vitamin d from this alone. You can ask the others to join you.

The big bonus is, non of the above will do you any harm, and get you out of that go to your room retreat that you have been conditioned into from an early age.

Good luck, I really admire you for being so brave to come on here and talk about it.

carefullycautious

chocolate_dream wrote: »

Thanks. Your opinions really do help. I wouldn't rule out aspergers by any means, having said that I had a pretty screwy childhood... dad in prison in communist country and if you've read 1984 I honestly did believe that every move you made was being watched. I couldn't relate to other kids here because I didn't understand english and there were loads of things which perhaps could have caused similar issues to aspergers I guess so it could be either.

This answers a lot. You really need to be referred for councelling to understand your difficult childhood and its effect

Blackpool_Saver

I am not impressed with your GP, get a second opinion.

whitewing

Again, chaotic childhoods can lead to personality disorders.

I would honestly recommend an initial session or two with a private psychologist who could do some initial psychiatric screening. Then go back to your GP. Depression also sounds quite probable; that can coexist with other problems/symptoms.

It sounds like you are at a point where you need answers and unfortunately it will be a long and frustrating wait on the NHS, although there are some brilliant people out there who really do care.

Sooki

OP I have to admit your thread title struck a big cord with me.

When I was a little girl I felt so isolated that I was convinced that everyone especially my parents were aliens and I used to go hunting around the house to find the secret things that kept them alive, of course I never found anything.

I used to get in trouble for nothing and had my ebullience trained out of me to the point I felt my opinions and nature were wrong.

I do find it difficult to make friends but the ones I have are good ones and I've got older I've come to realise this is a very healthy thing, I used to get upset about it but now value it.

meritaten

many conditions have symptoms of 'dissassociation', so I would hesitate to try to diagnose from just this. But, I would think that your GP is your first port of call hun. go along and tell him/her what you have just told us - if you find it difficult to do that, then print out your first post and ask him/her to read it.
you are not alone feeling like this - a good part of the population do too! but, by getting your GPs help and a diagnosis - if indeed you need one - can open doors for you.
good luck - please go see the GP and post back and let us know how you are.

chocolate_dream

Thanks. My GP is actually very good, did not judge or impose his views, just told me straight what literature he'd read had said on aspergers. He did refer me for tests on aspergers and told me that he hasn't known of an adult who's lead a successful life to be accepted, at least in the area. I think I'm on a waiting list though a very long one. Private is just far too expensive so not a possibility. I have been referred to a councellor via GP. She saw me once and thought I wasn't bad enough to use more sessions. The odd thing is that some people actually seem to think I have it all. I know I don't and have no idea where they get that idea from. When people meet me for the first time you really would think there was no problem at all, just that there are acquaintances, not friends. I'm curious Jezminda, you obviously come across aspergers symptoms a lot if your partner has it. Are there any really obvious signs? When I was talking to my GP about it he said that a lot is subjective, which is why it's so difficult to diagnose and apparently there is some discussion as to whether or not it even exists apparently. I think my problem is I have no imagination, am unable to talk descriptively. I also have problems finding anything interesting and really that is a problem. I enjoy listening to others talk about what their interests are but I'm unable to even talk about my weekend. I'm very factual and dry. I do want to really say thanks though to every one who's been posting here, when I started writing this thread I was distraught, I'm pretty calm now and really it is all your help and I really do appreciate this. I'm not really a newbie here, I have a different username but was too ashamed to use it.