fffurious with OH

Mojisola

DVardysShadow wrote: »

£300 might be a small thing, but it being too much indicates it is a big thing. But it is OH's best friend's wedding. If that is not a big thing, I don't know what is.

Best friend's daughter's wedding.

VfM4meplse

meritaten wrote: »

I now realise most of you think of me as ''the pearl necklace woman'! lmao - should I go into business?

There are some things that can't be erased from our collective memories :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:!

DVardysShadow

Mojisola wrote: »

Best friend's daughter's wedding.

True enough. But the best friend connection is still the same, it is the best friend who is inviting. So same line of argument really.

Mojisola

DVardysShadow wrote: »

True enough. But the best friend connection is still the same, it is the best friend who is inviting. So same line of argument really.

I don't think it is. I'd be surprised to be asked to a good friend's daughter's wedding unless I'd been like an honorary auntie to the girl.

I can understand meritaten's OH being upset if he's been giving the impression that they have more money than they really have but I think, if I had received that phone call, I'd have said "No way!" before I'd had time to think about it.

When you add in the facts that he didn't spend any money to go to his daughter's wedding, is generally a tight wad and they don't know the girl very well, he needs to explain why he was willing to spend that kind of money.

VfM4meplse

Mojisola wrote: »

When you add in the facts that he didn't spend any money to go to his daughter's wedding, is generally a tight wad

Not necessarily true.

meritaten wrote: »

DD arranged and paid for her own wedding and took great pride in doing so - I think OH did offer her money and she turned it down. so that was wrong of me

Although as a father of the bride I would have insisted on stumping up for the lot.

Mojisola

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Not necessarily true.

Meritaten described him as a "tight wad" and she ought to know.

andygb

I haven't had the time to read the whole thread, but feel for the OP, because it has happened to me, and looks like it will again later this year. There seems to be an unreasonable sense of entitlement from some people nowadays, where they expect you to run after them every where they go, and fit in with their plans no matter the cost.
If I were the OP I would resist this as much as possible (as I am doing), because why should you be expected to do anything?
If they want anything over and above you turning up, then they should foot the bill!

Nicki

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think it is. I'd be surprised to be asked to a good friend's daughter's wedding unless I'd been like an honorary auntie to the girl.

I think that sometimes depends on how old the bride is, and who is footing the bill. I got married at 22, and even though my OH and I paid about a third of the costs, my family paid the rest of it, and consequently there were more of their friends at the wedding than our own!

Oldernotwiser

DVardysShadow wrote: »

£300 might be a small thing, but it being too much indicates it is a big thing. But it is OH's best friend's wedding. If that is not a big thing, I don't know what is.

To the best friend and his daughter, obviously. Hardly a big thing for the OP's OH!

Pepzofio

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Beggur yuor ligoc.

The logic might be right. It probably is. The point is that as a couple, you do not speak on behalf of your other half without speaking to the OH first.

I would be mortified if either I or Mrs Shadow had to renotify people of a change to our decision resulting from one of us shooting our mouth off and then reconsidering after the other had had their chance to give their input.

If Mrs Shadow said we were not going, but I really wanted to, I would still hate to be changing that decision. There is a certain amount of pride and possibly advantage in being able to speak as one. Part of that is not speaking out before you are sure you are speaking as one. Mrs Shadow and I have learnt that speaking as one has a lot going for it.

But OP didn't say they wouldn't go, did she? My understanding was that she said they would not be staying in the same hotel as the bridal party, but would find alternative accomodation nearby... Or have I missed something?