fffurious with OH

Sooki

On another thought, check the hotel rates on line.

An old friend once pulled a stunt on a group of us once, organising a group holiday for a load of us that we thought was a little expensive, another one of the group checked out the costs and worked out that we'd all paid the organising families share! And they were really shocked when no-one wanted to go the next year!

euronorris

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I would have to agree with this. The outcome would probably have been the same in terms of the plan, but miles better in terms of how everyone feels about it.

Why? If they can't afford it, they can't afford it. Talking to her OH about it is not going to change that fact, so I can't see what is to be gained from talking about it first.

OH rejects things for us that we can't afford, without asking me first. Seems perfectly normal to me. Happens vice versa too.

hr9hr9

victory wrote: »

does your OH have a special bond with the mother?

Reminds me of a time my then partner bullied me into going on a holiday (in the UK, in cold months) with his friends...turned out that him and the woman were more than friends :eek: I Hope this isn't the case in your situation.

Sounds to me like he wants to keep up with the Jones'!

VfM4meplse

Wirenth wrote: »

On the other hand...not contributing towards his daughter's wedding??? Pillock!

Mojisola wrote: »

I'd be quite concerned just why he's so keen on this wedding when he obviously wasn't bothered about his own daughter's special day. That would niggle at me until he could give me an explanation.

This is the real issue, and you have had your revenge, in part at least. It is true that it is best served cold.

OH has no right to be cross with you, he still owes you a big explanation for why he was willing to pay to attend a near- stranger's wedding but didn't give a fig about his own daughter's. Shame on him! The loss of face has been a small price to pay.

Now for part II...time to share this little gem with your DD and see what her reaction is to her stupid selfish father.

Hanging_by_a_thread

Gingham_R wrote: »

I'd have done the same as you. There are times when we have to discuss stuff as a couple before we make decisions and there are times when it's just blindingly obvious what we have to do and one of us would make the decision on our own. The above, to me, is a clear example of a time when it's obvious what should be done.

I have no idea why he's miffed, but I hope it's all resolved now!

I agree with this. If my other half had done as you did Meritaten I'd have just been pleased he showed so much sense and dealt with it diplomatically. I think its all about balance and if you consult each other about the really big stuff then handling common sense issues shouldn't require a big discussion.

My other half is however currently completely miffed with me right now about my comments re the pearl necklace :rotfl: What was I on? Well actually I had enjoyed a glass or 3 of a very ncie wine and was not totally compos mentis.

Hope there is nothing ironic in any of the above

euronorris

I told OH about this thread, and before I could finish explaining he rolled his eyes and said 'it's a case of wanting to keep up with the joneses! Or, maybe he works with the guy and doesn't want him to know his financial situation in case it effects his contract/salary negotiations.'.

So, I think it is most likely a 'joneses' thing, but the other point may be playing a part too. Does he work with the guy?

DVardysShadow

euronorris wrote: »

Why? If they can't afford it, they can't afford it. Talking to her OH about it is not going to change that fact, so I can't see what is to be gained from talking about it first.

OH rejects things for us that we can't afford, without asking me first. Seems perfectly normal to me. Happens vice versa too.

This is OP;s OH's best friend, not OP's best friend. If it were my best fiend I would want Mrs Shadow to give me an input into the decision and opportunity to think of other ways of doing it if money was tight and above all to take time to think the thing through.

Mrs Shadow would not do this to me, but I can tell you that I would thoroughly resent being bounced into a decision which I might have taken anyway. There is more to it than the outcome, there is the matter of getting the process right, exploring other options and delivering the decision to the friends in the best way.

Errata

I've just had an invite to a wedding taking place in a country hotel and it offers guests a special room rate, which is more or less half what the standard room rate is!

What should the OP do? Write down the cost of new outfits (£200), the cost of getting there and back (£100), food and drink outside the gig (£100), the cost of a wedding present (£150), add in the cost of the hotel room and the total will frighten her OH to death

Crisp_£_note

:eek: how much ... just for 1 night !? My first thought was how many guests are actualy going to pay that, sound like they are passing the cost of the wedding onto those who want to participate in it. You could always just not go perhaps he would get the message then.

Whether its an embarassment factor at being able to afford the cost or not wouldnt matter to me I just wouldnt stay there, then again I wouldnt go at all. If it were in better weather I have been known to pitch up a tent in someones back garden what with the price of petrol !

Sooki

Seriously, check out the room rates. Even ring the hoteL.

If there is a vast difference do print off and show your OH!