new mummy friend

hm71_2

lol i dont see being a mum as demeaning i love it- i just meant i'd mis-understood its meaning- i have old friends, football friends, crickets friends it defines how i know them- but i dont define as a mummy friend or daddy friend they are just friends- as i said you always have an organisar in any group but sometimes we have a swap round like our lunch dates- thats usually left to one person but lately others have been taking the lead- i've taken the lead in organising a couple of events- she may be shy & not want to appear pushy (i'd see it as being friendly) so play it by ear and enjoy yourself.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

an9i77 wrote: »

Neither do I, I think some people just go on MSE to try and make arguments out of nothing! Cheap form of entertainment I suppose (and cheap is money saving at least!)

borokat wrote: »

I think people maybe view being a 'mummy' as somehow demeaning so wouldn't want to be thought of as being 'just' that. No one would be offended by being defined by their work as it is more valued by society as a whole that the role of mother is.

NAR wrote: »

Yes an9i77, I agree, some people need to get out more!

You don't normally only have an interest in someone being a friend because they are an accountant or a secretary or checkout operator though. They are friends that have that as their job. OK, there are some people that are shallow enough to only be interested in having friends that are lawyers or doctors or pilots or famous, but normal people look at the person and not the job description before choosing to try and make friends with them.


The way it is worded here, the only reason this woman is interesting to the OP is because she has a fully functioning womb.

I have older children. After a few years of being spoken to as if you are a complete imbecile because you have given birth a couple of times, you tend to think 'hang on, I do have a brain myself'.


I'm not the person agonising online about whether the person I am only interested in because she fits a checklist of 'given birth?' really wants to be my No 1 Mummy Friend and isn't sending me non committal texts because

a. she has actually been rather unnerved by the targetting of the Mummy Friend Collector or

b. might think that a woman who decides to work rather than be a full time parent has nothing in common with her.

c. just isn't that into you.




Fluff, I am sure there is no danger of you being mistaken for an airhead. There's nothing wrong in making new friends at groups like this, but it is also perfectly possible to not like anyone there, just as in any work or other social situation. I picture you as the leader of a happy little band of women who love their kids but see themselves as more than an incubator of offspring, so talk about other things as well as kids related stuff. And piping up in antenatal classes 'That's Bol-locks!' when the midwife says something rather silly.