new mummy friend

an9i77

Thank you Voluraptor and others for egging me on, I sent a text and she replied saying she'd love to go for another coffee, also we are both going back part time but luckily we will both have fridays off! I'll just have to remember not to call her 'mummmeee fwendy' or something now!

I guess for me the crux of this whole thing has been about having the courage to make a new friend, and not resenting having to be the 'organiser', as it is easy to see the fact that someone is not making as much effort as you as a rejection. We are used to talking about such things in the world of dating, when people don't want to appear too keen or whatever, but not friendships. But it can be as hard if not harder to make new friends when you are in your 30s and everyone's lives are a little more settled! I can't really go to baby groups any more now as I'm back at work from next week.

As for the defining women by being mothers or whatever, I don't do that at all but as I said from the start, none of my other friends are mums and sometimes it is nice to meet up with other people in the same boat. I always worry that I am yakking on about my baby to the exlusion of all else with my other friends, and it's nice to be able to talk about /listen to the same experiences with someone else in the same boat.

red_devil

an9i77 wrote: »

Thank you Voluraptor and others for egging me on, I sent a text and she replied saying she'd love to go for another coffee, also we are both going back part time but luckily we will both have fridays off! I'll just have to remember not to call her 'mummmeee fwendy' or something now!

I guess for me the crux of this whole thing has been about having the courage to make a new friend, and not resenting having to be the 'organiser', as it is easy to see the fact that someone is not making as much effort as you as a rejection. We are used to talking about such things in the world of dating, when people don't want to appear too keen or whatever, but not friendships. But it can be as hard if not harder to make new friends when you are in your 30s and everyone's lives are a little more settled! I can't really go to baby groups any more now as I'm back at work from next week.

As for the defining women by being mothers or whatever, I don't do that at all but as I said from the start, none of my other friends are mums and sometimes it is nice to meet up with other people in the same boat. I always worry that I am yakking on about my baby to the exlusion of all else with my other friends, and it's nice to be able to talk about /listen to the same experiences with someone else in the same boat.

She sent you a message saying she would love to go for another coffee but did she make an arrangement? If not you will be in the same boat again in a few weeks wondering whether to text again.

People are quick to say they will do something i never believe it until it happens. I'd leave it now and if she really has got the passion, want and desire to meet up again you will know about it.

euronorris

I am curious, are the following terms also offensive to people, and defining by just one trait?

Work Friend
School Friend
Old Friend

etc

Personally, I don't have a problem with such terms, and wouldn't consider myself to be categorised solely by the first word. I view it as more of a quick way of letting others know how/where you met them. So, work friend is simply someone who I met through work. It is, in no way, used to describe a person as solely a worker and nothing else. Just reference to how we met/know each other. I'd feel the same about the term Mummy Friend or Mum Friend, and would just assume that being a Mum is what started the friendship (ie from a class, or toddler group - whatever the case may be). I certainly wouldn't think 'well that person is a Mum, and nothing more.'. I don't know why anyone else would?

an9i77

red_devil wrote: »

She sent you a message saying she would love to go for another coffee but did she make an arrangement? If not you will be in the same boat again in a few weeks wondering whether to text again.

People are quick to say they will do something i never believe it until it happens. I'd leave it now and if she really has got the passion, want and desire to meet up again you will know about it.

I thought about that and suggested a date. We're both going back to work next week so it's not the best of times for either of us. She's agreed to the date I suggested, but I take your point. I'm being proactive on this occasion but I'm not going to keep doing it after this time, or I'll begin to feel like a fool

an9i77

euronorris wrote: »

I am curious, are the following terms also offensive to people, and defining by just one trait?

Work Friend
School Friend
Old Friend

etc

Personally, I don't have a problem with such terms, and wouldn't consider myself to be categorised solely by the first word. I view it as more of a quick way of letting others know how/where you met them. So, work friend is simply someone who I met through work. It is, in no way, used to describe a person as solely a worker and nothing else. Just reference to how we met/know each other. I'd feel the same about the term Mummy Friend or Mum Friend, and would just assume that being a Mum is what started the friendship (ie from a class, or toddler group - whatever the case may be). I certainly wouldn't think 'well that person is a Mum, and nothing more.'. I don't know why anyone else would?

Neither do I, I think some people just go on MSE to try and make arguments out of nothing! Cheap form of entertainment I suppose (and cheap is money saving at least!)

borokat

an9i77 wrote: »

Neither do I, I think some people just go on MSE to try and make arguments out of nothing! Cheap form of entertainment I suppose (and cheap is money saving at least!)

I think people maybe view being a 'mummy' as somehow demeaning so wouldn't want to be thought of as being 'just' that. No one would be offended by being defined by their work as it is more valued by society as a whole that the role of mother is.

Volupturaptor

Too true. :mad:
Personally, I think it's the most important job in the world.

red_devil

an9i77 wrote: »

I thought about that and suggested a date. We're both going back to work next week so it's not the best of times for either of us. She's agreed to the date I suggested, but I take your point. I'm being proactive on this occasion but I'm not going to keep doing it after this time, or I'll begin to feel like a fool

agree and then people expect you to do all the running. I would step back now and see if you hear.

NAR

an9i77 wrote: »

Neither do I, I think some people just go on MSE to try and make arguments out of nothing! Cheap form of entertainment I suppose (and cheap is money saving at least!)

Yes an9i77, I agree, some people need to get out more!

somethingsgottogive

Definitely go for it It's hard when you're the only one of your 'group' with children, so take every chance you can to make new friends. You could always invite her and her LO to 'that new soft play area' you've been wanting to go to or something?