don't know what to do about my sons 3 night school trip

looby75

suzyp1982 wrote: »

What about at his fathers address for the sleepovers? yours for teatime?

his dad lives too far away and believe me never in a million years would he agree to it lol He's great with ds but thats about his limit

His mates often come here for tea, in the summer our back garden is like a childcare centre, outside of school he's got loads of mates but for some reason in school he's a bit of a loner. I just don't understand why.

emsywoo123

Check me out about to stride in and go against the tide

He is Year 5, so he is 9/10? I have a DD in year 4, she is due a residential trip in year 6.

If she does not really want to go, I won't send her. She's a child, and all too soon she'll be a teenager, and an adult and be off making her decisions and living her life. So if she doesn't want to spend nights away from me when she's 10? So what?

They are children. They might have mobiles, attitudes and "dramas" but IMHO, at this age, why force them to go away?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ducks

looby75

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Check me out about to stride in and go against the tide

He is Year 5, so he is 9/10? I have a DD in year 4, she is due a residential trip in year 6.

If she does not really want to go, I won't send her. She's a child, and all too soon she'll be a teenager, and an adult and be off making her decisions and living her life. So if she doesn't want to spend nights away from me when she's 10? So what?

They are children. They might have mobiles, attitudes and "dramas" but IMHO, at this age, why force them to go away?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ducks

oh believe me if he's still as upset by friday then I won't be paying the £70 and he won't be going. I am trying to calm his fears and make him see that he will probably enjoy it when he's there. He's very keen on the idea of going on the zip wire and doing archery so I'm hoping that if I get him excited about those things enough it will make the whole trip more pro than con.

meer53

looby75 wrote: »

great idea but unfortunatly it's not possible. We live in a 2 bedroom tiny house and ds has to share a bedroom with his 18 yr old sister. We just don't have the room

My daughter has friends for sleepovers, i have spare bedrooms but they always want to sleep together in the lounge ! The beds are never used ! They all bring sleeping bags, i provide pop and popcorn and go to bed and leave them to it ! She's 11 now but this has been happening regularly since she was about 9. I let them stay up as long as they like, then i get a sleep in the next day ! If he just has 1 or maybe 2 friends they shouldn't be too much trouble.

My daughter also went on a residential 3 night stay with school last year, she was apprehensive, but enjoyed it so much. Ask his Dad to speak to him about it too but make sure you're both singing from the same hymn sheet !

victory

The trick is as you are doing already is to big up the good bits, make it sound like fun and that you are jealous he gets to do x y and z when you stay at home, sure tell him you will miss him but what fun he is going have:D

looby75

arrrggg just when I thought his wobbles were on the way over he text his dad and said he's not happy in school

I'll be on the phone first thing tomorrow to see if I can get an appointment to have a chat with his teacher. There's obviously something else going on (looks like a few posters hit the nail on the head, why oh why do kids not come with instruction books and a trouble shooting manual, it would make life so much easier!)

msb5262

looby75 wrote: »

arrrggg just when I thought his wobbles were on the way over he text his dad and said he's not happy in school

I'll be on the phone first thing tomorrow to see if I can get an appointment to have a chat with his teacher. There's obviously something else going on (looks like a few posters hit the nail on the head, why oh why do kids not come with instruction books and a trouble shooting manual, it would make life so much easier!)

Hi OP,

Make it really clear when you ring for the appointment that it's very urgent. As a teacher, I think it's the least the school can do to arrange for parents to see the teacher within 24 hours - and I'm always glad when parents come to me with a problem or a worry about their child as it means we can all work together to sort out whatever's happening.

Best of luck with this.

MsB

looby75

msb5262 wrote: »

Hi OP,

Make it really clear when you ring for the appointment that it's very urgent. As a teacher, I think it's the least the school can do to arrange for parents to see the teacher within 24 hours - and I'm always glad when parents come to me with a problem or a worry about their child as it means we can all work together to sort out whatever's happening.

Best of luck with this.

MsB

Thanks MsB I will do. To be fair to the school even though they like things formal as formal can be they are pretty good if you want to speak to someone on the phone they will go and get them for you (outside of class hours obviously) so even if I can't arrange to see his teacher face to face I should be able to at least speak to her.

splishsplash

Trips like this have huge stresses attached to them, I think. I agree with others that if he's one of only a handful who don't go, it will not be good for him afterwards, both from having missed out on the bonding side of things, and also for being 'marked' for not going.




Other things that might be preying on his mind:

• who's going to sit beside him with him on the bus on the way there?
• who's going to share a room/bunk bed with him?
• who's going to partner up with him for activities?
• who's he going to sit with at mealtimes?
• who's going to sit beside him on the bus on the way home?

He needs to know he's got a friend or is part of a group of friends who will tick those boxes. If not, you need to help sort that out. I also agree with the poster who says to pay and really work on getting him to go - not by talking about it, but by setting him up to want to go and making sure he'll be ok.

onlyroz

You really should encourage him to go. Some of my most vivid childhood memories are from school residential trips.