don't know what to do about my sons 3 night school trip

pukkamum

I would give him a set date he has to decide by and during that time i would 'big up' the trip, talk about the things he will do there and how much fun they would be, talk about which activities he would like doing the most etc etc.
I will generally find this a true indication of their feelings, if talking about those things they get excited and chatty about it, they truly want to go and are just wobbling, if not then perhaps he really really doesn't want to go and he has to accept he may regret the decision, which is actually a very good lesson to learn.

P.s also def speak to the teachers quietly and ask them to big it up too xx

Spendless

I'd talk to teacher. I didn't realise until my son went on one of these trips last year how good they are for bonding. I'd also ask how many are not going. In my son's case only 1 out of almost 90 children didn't go.

melb

I think the "no exceptions" bit is to stop the excuses about forgetting money not having it etc because people are a bit short or whatever but i honestly think if you had a confidential word with the teacher or the head (making sure none of his classmates see you)and explained the situation they may be able to make an exception. i feel sorry for you in this situation but honestly I'd try not to mention it again until he does and you might find he suddenly decided he does want to go. You could then tell your son right you don't have to go but if he changes his mind he still has the option - I know this isn't teaching him about consequences or actions but there's plenty of time to learn that yet

mrcow

I wouldn't book it in those circumstances. These things are supposed to be fun, not something that keeps you lying awake and in tears.

The whole thing is not complusory. Don't book it. They'll be plenty of time for trips etc once he reaches secondary school.

DaisyFlower

How far away is it? Is it possible to collect him if he truly doesnt enjoy it?

I'd echo speaking to the teacher, sadly lots of parents dont think deadlines or paying doesnt apply to them so they have to word some letters quite strictly but you may find they have some leeway and may also have a class chat etc.

looby75

Thanks everyone. I'll phone the school tomorrow and have a word with the secretary to see if there is any leeway in payment dates. The school likes you to make appointments to see the teachers, they don't like parents just popping in as they have a really OTT security system and they have actually had parents locked in the school by accident :eek: lol So I'll see if I can get an appointment to see her before Friday but there will be no guarantee.

pinkclouds

If it's a lot of money to the OP and the lad is so distressed then... I think I wouldn't pay for the trip. Yes, he may change his mind again but you can only work with the current facts. If it's such a significant amount of money then perhaps I wouldn't have considered the trip in the first place! But if it's more "I don't feel comfortable 'wasting' a decent amount of money" then one alternative might be to promise to collect him early (like after the first day) if he's truly unhappy (assuming it is a feasibly close enough location) and hoping that he'll want to stay the whole 3 days.

looby75

DaisyFlower wrote: »

How far away is it? Is it possible to collect him if he truly doesnt enjoy it?

I'd echo speaking to the teacher, sadly lots of parents dont think deadlines or paying doesnt apply to them so they have to word some letters quite strictly but you may find they have some leeway and may also have a class chat etc.

it's about 65 miles away but I don't have a car and as it's a fairly remote location so wouldn't be easy to get pick him up if he really didn't like it.

looby75

pinkclouds wrote: »

If it's a lot of money to the OP and the lad is so distressed then... I think I wouldn't pay for the trip. Yes, he may change his mind again but you can only work with the current facts. If it's such a significant amount of money then perhaps I wouldn't have considered the trip in the first place! But if it's more "I don't feel comfortable 'wasting' a decent amount of money" then one alternative might be to promise to collect him early (like after the first day) if he's truly unhappy (assuming it is a feasibly close enough location) and hoping that he'll want to stay the whole 3 days.

I've got to admit it was a bit of a shock when we got the letter saying how much it was going to be. When dd went on her residential trip it was only £70 and that was for 4 nights, but that place has just closed down so this is a new place and the cheapest they could get

Ex is paying for half the trip which is the only way I can really afford it.

bylromarha

another one here who thinks having a quiet word with the class teacher is best way forward.

They'll have faced this before, will be able to reassure "the whole group" about the newness of being away from family and also able to inform you regarding any recent school incidents.

Then go back to son after you've spoken to teacher.