don't know what to do about my sons 3 night school trip

WestonDave

Given his concerns about lack of friends you could turn it around and ask him he will feel when they are all back talking about the things they did etc on the trip and he's left out because he didn't go. I suspect when he gets there he will enjoy it - its the anticipation of the unknown which is a problem so its best almost to forget about it now and move on to other things - he's possibly only concerned at present because you raised it with him which has brought it to the front of his mind. If you can find a way to move him on to something else, he'll forget about it until nearer the time.

duchy

I know he doesn't want you to talk to the school but in this instance I would. They'll have heard it all before as it's a regular trip and might be able to help you decide one way or the other.

Sambucus_Nigra

What's the cancellation policy? I'd be inclined to pay for it and cross fingers that he changes his mind beforehand; and work on him in the meantime. Or sit him down and make sure he is aware that this is his decision and he has to suffer the consequences if he wants to go later on...chances are that someone might drop out anyway and you could sort it out later on but do you want to take the chance.

WestonDave

One other perspective - I have good friends who run a centre that take kids on these sorts of trips. Whatever is going on in the school, I would expect that he will find the staff when he arrives will start with a completely blank sheet and will be friendly towards him especially if he looks a bit left out. Sometimes its the kids that aren't the usual acheivers in class that turn out to be the stars on this sort of trip because its different skills and mindsets that are needed.

MX5huggy

Talk to the teachers to buy yourself some more time, re when you have to commit, at least until Monday.

looby75

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

What's the cancellation policy? I'd be inclined to pay for it and cross fingers that he changes his mind beforehand; and work on him in the meantime. Or sit him down and make sure he is aware that this is his decision and he has to suffer the consequences if he wants to go later on...chances are that someone might drop out anyway and you could sort it out later on but do you want to take the chance.

no refunds, if I pay the £70 on Friday thats that, the way the letter read was that if you commit to the trip you have to pay the full amount even if your child doesn't go on the trip. £180 is a heck of a lot of money to me, I'll struggle to find it if he does want to go but I'd be very upset if I pay it and he refuses to go when the trip finally gets here.

I've spoken to him since he came home from school tonight, as has his big sister. He's decided he's going to think about it some more, but at the moment he still doesn't want to go.

looby75

MX5huggy wrote: »

Talk to the teachers to buy yourself some more time, re when you have to commit, at least until Monday.

It said on the letter that Friday is the last day to pay, NO EXCEPTIONS (in bold :eek:) That annoyed me a bit too because they have brought the date forward!

19lottie82

OP, I think you need to make it clear to him that if he doesn’t want to go he doesn’t have to BUT should he decide that, then there is no changing his mind at a later date. If he does then you need to stick to your guns as he needs to learn the consequences of his decision.

My BF had a similar situation with his 7 year old DD1. Her and his DD2 go to dance classes twice a week which they love and a few times a year enter shows and competitions. A few months ago she was having an external problem and decided that she didn’t want to go to dancing this week, and the same the following week. Now at the time they were working towards entering a comp that was due to take place in 2 months time and if she missed anymore dance classes, she would have fallen behind with the routines and wouldn’t be able to enter, which would have been a shame, especially as her sister and friends were all involved and it would have been heartbreaking to watch her miss out (especially as we knew that although she was upset about a few things at the moment, it was 99% likely that in a few weeks she would decide that she wanted to return, and enter the comp).

BF sat with her and explained this to her although she wasn’t budging at first, she eventually (and thankfully) went back in time.

Sezzagirl

Looby, I still think it's worth talking to your teacher - the bold instrustions may be directed at amyone who usually takes extra time to pay

Assuming that's not you, ;-) there might be room for maneouvre (sp?)

However, it might just be that the place they are going to, is demanding payment on a certain date

*Louise*

Gillyx wrote: »

If he really doesn't want to go, I wouldn't pay the £70. If he changes his mind, it'l be a steep learning curve for him. .

^^That's what I would do. If he was as upset as you say he was then I wouldn't be risking £80. It would be a case of 'well you have until Friday to decide then that's it'


I would also go and see his teacher before Friday and discuss the situation and find out if anything else is going on at school.