hidden debt and paying it back

shopaholic2

Bravehearted, whilst everything you say is probably similar to what the op has said to herself many,many times, it's not helpful.
This girl has made a mistake, and will face up to it, but she needs support from us, not criticism.

debtfreewannabe321

i hope it went ok??? xxx

Sparkles81_2

Hello everyone,

Well I have done it I told him.

He hasn't yelled yet. But obviously he has is very very angry, hurt, feels betrayed and cant believe if I love him as much as I say do, why I have done this again.

He says he feels like walking out but has no where to go. Doesnt even want to talk about the debt or solution etc etc....he is says its my problem he will not bail me out this time.

It has been an evening of honesty, it would appear I am battling depression too, wont go into too much detail as I dont want to appear be passing the blame on my mental health. I have done wrong and I admit that.

I am going to get an emergency appointment at the doctors first thing tomorrow.

At this precise moment, I haven no idea if I have marriage left or not. So not sure what the best way forward is going to be at the moment.

Will re post again tomorrow.

The kids by the way have been fantastic and they are okay.

Thank you all so much. Things are bleak right now but without this forum, and all your replies, I would never have told him. My marriage could well be over but at least I have owned up now.

Thank you again.

Kwaker_Knacker

Hope it all works out for you, and hopefully (even tho it might not seem like it at the minute) you'll feel better now it's all out in the open.

K_K

debtfreewannabe321

well done for telling him! He will calm down (eventually) if he loves you! so try not to worry. My LBM came with my realisation I also had depression ...double whammy. Things can only get better, good luck xx

wannabee_in_credit

Well done for getting it all out into the open. Your OH will need some time to think and come to terms with it. Meantime, show him you're serious - get to the doctors, get your plans for money in place etc. Prove that you have learned your lesson.
Good luck, and I'm really pleased that the kids are ok.

traveldolly

I'm sure if you show a real committment to finding out the cause of your addiction to spending and are willing to try and pay some of the debt yourself, your husband will come round in time. This may be hard for him to deal with but a divorce would be much harder. Well done on taking the first step.

secretshopper75

sparkles, thinking of you and hope your appointment at your gp's goes ok x

missladyannie

Well done for telling your husband, it must have been really hard for you, I really hope he comes round, take care xx

joedenise

It is very common when depressed to spend more than you can afford. When I became very depressed a couple of years ago my spending got completely out of control. Once I'd been to see my GP and was on anti-depressants for a while the spending reduced back to where it was previously. I hope the same thing happens for you. Take all the help you can get.

I'm sure your husband will calm down in a while and will be very supportive again. As your OH is very good for money I think it would be a really good idea for him to take over the finances for a while. Unfortunately I didn't have this option as my OH is not very good with money - if he's got it it has to be spent.

Good luck with getting this all sorted.

Denise