hidden debt and paying it back

merlot123

Well done for telling your husband, although to me you sound pretty scared of him, you shouldn't be scared of your husband, he may be angry and upset with you and rightly so if I'm totally honest, but he shouldn't make you scared.

You need to get the prescription otherwise you are not going to feel any better.

My advice to you, is to get a few things on Ebay this afternoon and make sure they are priced to sell quickly, and tell your husband what you have done, and ask if you can have the money for the prescription and you will pay him back from the proceeds of the Ebay sales.

I know you say you don't know whether you have a husband or not at this moment, but he needs to support the children either way and therefore ask him for a weekly allowance for the children.

merlot123

Sparkles81_2

so far found £4.03....how much is a prescription, £7.70??

CompBunny

I thought it was £7.20 but just checked and its £7.40... good luck finding some more stray £££s!

opinions4u

Husband will come round.

He may well expect you to solve what he sees as your problem (e.g. earning the money to reduce the debts).

When that conversation does take place you need to get him on board for other cost cutting in the budget - especially groceries - as this is where he'll feel it most!

You'll succeed best working as a team.

*zippy*

Sparkles I just want to say well done ((hugs))

I have done it three times now and my story is very similar, not realising I had depression, going to town and buying the girls clothes and toys, we never had holidays or anything to show or the debt.

We are still together and happy so I hope you can work through this too, though it may take time for your husband to work through his feelings, but he has had a shock. The way forward that worked for us is your husband has to take responsibility for the money too, my husband isn't a spender either so now I make sure he sees our budget and we go through it together and I don't buy anything without checking with him first and explaining how I'm paying for it, what bills are coming up next month etc. I also now have no means of getting credit and would suggest staying away from the shops and online stores as much as you can.

Another thing I realised after watching a programme on hoarding is I'm a "collector" I have to have sets of things and if I start a hobby I couldn't understand why others would just buy a few bits where as I would have to have every gadget they made straight away. Just coming to terms with the reasons I spend has really helped.

Sorry this is turning into a long post, but I so relate to the feelings you are gong through, I'm a year on from that final time of telling him and it gets easier, you can do this and well done for going to the drs and facing up to everything ((hugs))

ginger_tony

Hi sparkles, glad to hear you got to the doctors and you need to get the anti ds, you probably dont realise it yet but this is the start of your recovery period, run a hot bath try to relax. You will know soon enough how your hubby will play this but im so proud that you have taken these steps and please know your not alone half the country is in debt upto their eyeballs I knw personal responsibilty comes into play but I blame the bloody banks for allowing people to get so over their heads. Hope you and your family are ok.

RAS

Sparkles81 wrote: »

so far found £4.03....how much is a prescription, £7.70??

text hubby and tell him that you need £7.40 for the prescription and please can you put that on the card.

gemini12

Just found your story and my heart goes out to you. I have recently been in a situation (not money related) where my husband went completely ballistic and locked me out of the housethe when he let me back in shouted, then went silent etc so I know how hard it must have been to tell him.
I hope your GP appointment was positive, they do vary when it comes to mental health.
Give him time to calm down and then talk to him. (it might take a few days). If you can show him that you are serious in wanting to , not only deal with this debt but ensure that you will never run up a debt again without discussing it. Perhaps you could earn more somehow. (evening work would not impact on the children) and he would see you working to repay the debt.
Good luck with your debt free jouney

immoral_angeluk

Have you told your husband about the outcome of the doctors appointment? He may be more understanding if he knows, and I doubt any husband on the planet who loved and cared for his wife deep down would deny her £7 for a prescription to help her deal with the underlying issues.

Well done for being so brave, it's not easy, but it will get better one way or another. You've taken the first, and hardest, step. You ARE strong enough to keep on making those steps from now on.

CompBunny

How are you getting on Sparkles, did you manage to get your prescription? How is your husband?