hidden debt and paying it back

debtfreewannabe321

well done for seeing the GP so quickly you've started tackling your problems already. Did you call the national debtline? I called them for advice (was in tears!) and they were so lovely and helpful. I have a friend that makes cakes although she does it as extra income alongside her usual job as i think it's a business that will grow more on word of mouth recommendations than anything. Perhaps once the anti d's kick in look for a part time job somewhere local and then try and fit in the cake making business with it

I wish you luck & really hope your hubby calms down soon x

CompBunny

Hi Sparkle,

I'm sure it doesn't feel like it, but you are proving yourself to be so capable of sorting this situation out...you have gone into action mode! In less than 24hours you have come clean to your hubby and sister, seen a doctor and got a mental health referall. Thats just brilliant!

I really hope that the mental health team can offer you some useful therapies. What general area of the country are you in?

I'm sorry you are in an area with no friends or family OH and I moved 2 hours away from family and friends for his job late 2008/early 2009 and we were both so unhappy. We started to build up debt (allbeit not a huge amount, but abnormal debt for us all the same) too, overspending to try and feel happy, unable to quit the expensive habit of smoking and eating junk because it felt like all we had! I did some awful things that I feel ashamed of. We ended up moving back towards family. We wouldn't be together now if we had not done that, and I probably wouldn't be here at all. Its tough isn't it? It sounds like you really need a support network around you, are there any other mums you could develop a relationship with? For now its great that your sister is supportive.

RE your prescription, it doesn't help for this time, but if you ask politely after the first month GP's are usually happy to prescribe three months supplies of medication at once. This reduces the cost considerably! However, if you indicated on the assesment questionnaires that you are having dark thoughts of any kind of self harm they might not prescribe medication in any large quantity just to be safe. For this time, its a £7.20 prescription for your mental (and also physical!) health. Its important. It might help put you in the position to be able to save lots of £7.20's in the coming weeks! Do you have access to money right now?

I think you are handling this really well. How are you feeling?

sueh6

Totally understand why your husband is as angry as he is particularly it being the second time although I have to say that you obviously have so many issues that its not hard to see how its happened. If your relationship can stand this test and I'm not just talking about the money but also your health issues then you should be able to withstand anything. If he doesn't stay around to support you then as others have said please, please try and find some groups that you can become involved in and remember that we are always here to lend an ear and show support.

The very best of luck.

quantic

Have you ever considered cognitive behavioural therapy, its very effective - have a wee look into it

Sparkles81_2

Hi everyone,

Im struggling if I am honest. Not knowing what my husband is thinking is so hard. Until I know what he is going to, I cant think straight.

I cant cope with much more today, its a struggle. I have only just manage to wash and clean my teeth for the first time in 3 days. Tomorrow, I will call the CCCS. Having to take small steps here...

I have no money at all, so cannot get my prescription. I do still have our joint bank card, but there is no way I am using that without my husband's permission.

Just have to wait and see what happens when my husband gets in from work, thats assuming he does come home.

Someone ask what area I live in its the North East. Didnt think to ask how a long wait it is for Mental Health services, hopefully not too long. I go back to my GP in 3 weeks time.

vasseur

It might be a good idea to ask your husband for a cash allowance every week (once you've sat down and discussed things further).

This way you have a visual reminder of how much (or how little) you have to spend and how you must eke it out over the week. If you know that you've got to feed the family on what's in your purse you'll hunt out the best bargains (it becomes addictive) and you'll be less likely to spend it on tat.

In fact, sitting down and working out the best way to clear your debt will be a good way of helping to lift you out of your depression. It will give you a sense of purpose and you'll wonder how you ever managed to spend so much.

Keep reading these boards, they are amazingly motivating.

You must get started on the anti-ds as soon as you can.

Sparkles81_2

I dont even know if I have husband at the moment. Let alone ask him for a cash allowance. I doubt even if he does stay and help, whether he will give even a £5.00 a week for me. I dont deserve it so why should he give it to me.

I will keep reading, I have no intention of giving up now. I hope evenutally I can help others on here.

LoulaBelle

I've posted over on your other thread the one with the SOA

CompBunny

Sparkles, baby steps are just fine right now You've already taken some massive steps and need some time to get yourself together. Its still very early days for your husband, and waiting must be so hard but if he needs a bit of space its all you can do. *hugs*

I think its important for you to get the prescription as soon as you can. I understand why you don't feel like you can take money from the joint account right now. Think hard...any money in coat pockets, down the side of the sofa, in the car, change in jars, under beds etc?

Sparkles81_2

Thanks Compbunny. Im just off to raid the copper jar. I might have about 50p in my purse. I dont know. Just going for a search now.. Will let you know how I get on. Thank you.