bridesmaid to bestfriend, buying my dress and she would like money as a gift

BitterAndTwisted

Is this a common thing now, to ask bridesmaids to pay for their own ugly frocks?

Chaos_Monkey

If you know where they are going on honeymoon, then you could get them some foreign currency with a nice card.

Alternatively, if they live near-by you, if you can get hold of their keys you coud stock their fridge with champers, milk, strawberries etc ready for when they get back from honeymoon. You might need to rope in one of their Mums, or tell them you will keep an eye on their place/feed the cat/whatever while they are away.

HTH
Chaos

Mupette

My bridesmaids have said they would buy their own dresses.

OH and me have thought long and hard about a wedding list..

we have at least 2 of everything so don't need anything.

But we have just set up a B & Q wedding list for people to put money on if they want to, I've not asked anyone to buy me anything, this is there if someone feels they want to.

The money will be used for DIY projects that need doing in our home.

Would i expect anyone to donate... no

Mupette

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Is this a common thing now, to ask bridesmaids to pay for their own ugly frocks?

Well it keeps the cost of the wedding down.

A cousin of mine got married last year and wanted the full works, even had UB40 playing at her do, boasted that the even cost about £25k a few months down the line it seems they split up several times...

Oh and I don't want to spend a fortune on a few hours, would just prefer to spend some time with our friends celebrating in our own garden,

Wedding isnt costing a lot, way less than £500, i think the much needed patio is the most expensive thing.

My bridesmaids are buying their own dresses, and that i want them to choose, I'm keeping a low key on choices, the only thing i said was let me be the pretty on just for the day :rotfl:- they have their work cut out then hehe

lady1964

A bridesmaid dress doesn't have to be ugly, it could be that the OP has been given a bit of carte blanche to choose a dress she knows she will wear again, so if that's the case, I don't see the problem in paying for her own.
When my 3 dd's were bridesmaids, we were asked to pay for their shoes, they were £20 a pair & had to be cream ballet slippers that were then dyed to match their dresses (paid for by bride). My dd's never wore the shoes again so £60 down the drain basically.
As for a gift, if the couple getting married already have all they need in their home, then I don't see giving money as a gift as a major deal, better they get a nice honeymoon than loads of stuff they don't need.
That said, some of the suggestions offered up by some have been lovely, I would be thrilled by a gift of bubbly in our hotel room or in our fridge when we got back from our honeymoon. So, all things considered, I would do that rather than money.

Acc72

bouncing_bubbles wrote: »

Now I have real issues with giving anyone money - I like giving well thought presents, presents that make the reciepant smile.


Does anyone have any ideas for presents? I really dont know what to spend either.

All ideas welcome.

Thank you.

You may have issues with giving money for presents, but your friend doesn't ! (and it is about what your friend wants).

Why ask her the question if you are not going to listen to her answer ?

As for ideas - your friend has asked for money, so I would say either give her money or nothing.

The only other alternative is to buy her a present that she more than likely does not want, which would be a waste of your money.

jojo_2012_2

Just give the money, and as soon as you get engaged yourself (just assuming your not already I dunno), say oh by the way I want money as my present. Payback time!

*Robin*

Assuming the friend is going somewhere exotic for her honeymoon, give her cash but in the local currency. Put it into a hand-made card or - depending on holiday location - one of those 'keep your money safe' belts.

Oldernotwiser

Acc72 wrote: »

You may have issues with giving money for presents, but your friend doesn't ! (and it is about what your friend wants).

When it comes to presents (of whatever kind) it's the person giving the present who should decide what's appropriate!

borokat

I would just give money, rather than spending the same amount on champagne and chocs. Put yourself in her shoes, wouldn't you rather the money was spent on something that is actually needed? If you want to get something for them to 'open' what about a honeymoon photo album, plaque with their names and the date on (try notonthehighstreet/etsy), you could even print out a special poem or song appropriate to marriage on nice paper and frame it for them - these are all things that can be kept. For me champagne and chocs is a good present when you don't know people well, but presumably you know your friend's taste well?
Oh and I don't buy it when people say 'we have all we need for the house' I've been with my OH for 8 years, living together for 5 and we still don't have everything we need/want! (Le Creuset cookware which you can get cheapish in TK Maxx would be a fab 'for the home' wedding present as it lasts a lifetime).