bridesmaid to bestfriend, buying my dress and she would like money as a gift

ETanny

If she wants money for the honeymoon - get them money for the holiday destination and you could jazz it up with putting the money in champers flutes or something with a bottle of (cheap) champers. That way its incorpating both what you want to do and what your friend has asked for.

Acc72

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

When it comes to presents (of whatever kind) it's the person giving the present who should decide what's appropriate!

I disagree - if the recipient does not like / want the present then surely it is a waste of money ?

Personally, if I was buying somebody a present I would prefer to get them something that they wanted (and not something that I thought they wanted).

The OP asked her friend what she wanted as a present, and did not like the answer - what was the point of asking ?

duchy

As the OP is her best friend it seems fairly likely she knows her tastes so wouldn't be buying her something she wouldn't like-and may in fact buy her something she'd be thrilled with but would never have thought of herself. Just like little kids going through the Argos book and ticking off what they'd *like* for Christmas -Brides and grooms can say what they'd like but it doesn't mean everyone will slavishly follow that . Big difference in my book between saying they have a preference for x and y and expecting money.

liney

I thought that the done thing was that bridesmaids paid for their own shoes. I certainly wouldn't dream of asking someone to be my bridesmaid then slapping them with a bill! It would be very difficult for someone to agree to bridesmaid, and then refuse to pay for the dress if asked.

If you don't like the idea of giving money, then don't. I usually find out the honeymoon destination, then pop in some currency because it seems slightly different than 'cash' somehow, but each to their own.

pinkclouds

Give what you can afford - there's no fixed amount you should give. If the couple are going overseas for their honeymoon, see if you can get assorted coins or smaller notes in the local currency. It's so nice to be able to buy a local newspaper or use the airport/hotel vending machine on arrival, without needing to change traveller's cheques or hit the ATM when you're tired and can't be bothered with the hassle. It's definitely money and it's thoughtful.

If you really don't want to give money, then tell her. If she's your best friend, then she'll understand and will probably already know some of your ways. If her house is fully stocked with the usual knickknacks then champagne and chocolate is actually a good gift - it can be consumed and doesn't add to the clutter, once it's gone.

claire16c

I like giving people presents that Ive thought of too, but I also like giving the recepient something they actually want.

Champagne to me is a gift you give someone when you dont know what else to get them. Something handmade like a photo album etc would be more thoughtful surely? If you wanted to go down that route.

Anyway - my friend asked for money for her honeymoon and I would rather give towards that then buy them a toaster or something, that they already have! And they have plenty of stuff in their home already, it would be replacing it for the sake of it.

So I gave them some money, but because she was one of my best friends I wanted to do something else.

So I also did a big 'honeymoon survival box' where I put in stuff into a cardboard box that I wrapped in wedding paper, things like - A bright pink rubber ring, a bikini, swimshorts (I used to work in a buying office so didnt pay much for these!) coins of the foreign currency in a little wallet, a guidebook I got off amazon for about £3, cheap flip flops (you can buy these somewhere like asda for £2) and personalised luggage tags I found on an internet site for free that you could add a photo to. The box probably cost me about £15 but they said they had great fun opening it and said the rubber ring was perfect as they had their own villa on holiday but the water was freezing! :rotfl:

My friend did pay for my dress though! and Ive only just noticed £300!?? What on earth are you wearing that costs that much?

Acc72

duchy wrote: »

As the OP is her best friend it seems fairly likely she knows her tastes so wouldn't be buying her something she wouldn't like.

That isn't the case here.

The OP asked her friend what she wanted and was given an answer.

As the OP did not particularly like the answer given by her friend she is now asking random strangers on the internet for ideas.

Surely it would be preferable to give her friend what she wants ?

scheming_gypsy

If they want money towards the honeymoon (and can't afford to buy bridesmaid dresses) then it sounds like they've spent up on the wedding and need a hand paying for the honeymoon. If people don't or can't give them money towards it, then there'll be no honeymoon (so no point giving them currency or gifts waiting when they get there).

best option is to do give them what they'd like - help finishing their wedding off.

narabanekeater

One of my best friends (were a group of 4 ladies all the same age give or take 2 years) is getting married this year and announced this last year. Myself and my family couldnt be happier for her. She asked me to be bridesmaid at the same time as the other 3 best friends insisting on buying us a dress to wear only this year forgot she had said that and now wants to to buy our own. As she had said she was paying we have now booked a family holiday so ive no money for this £300+ outfit. Im a very honest person and have told her that and that the reason I can no longer be her bridesmaid is that I cannot afford to be and were barley talking now and one of the other bridesmaids is the same. With my partner needing the day off and not being paid as its a midweek wedding, new outfits for my 2 children that can attaend and then babysitter fees for my youngest plus a cash gift as thats what shes asked for the whole day will still cost £500 at least. All drinks are to be paid for by ourselves. So yes some brides do ask for bridesmaids to pay for dresses. OP id do what you feel conforatble with.

debbie_debt

Hi

Firstly, I think you're friend's taking the mick a bit asking for you to pay for your own dress. I got married at christmas and despite being completely broke, I'd never have asked my bridesmaids to do this.

Regarding the pressies - I've got to play the devils advocate here - why would you want to buy people a gift that they clearly don't want? The hotel usually provide a chilled bottle of bubbly in the hotel room for the wedding night and I don't see the issue with putting money in a card and writing a nice sentimental message to make your friend smile. It's clearly what they want, and so spending your hard earned cash on something that might not be appreciated seems a complete waste to me. Just to look at it from their point of view! I do see this as a very different issue from paying for your own dress, just to be clear.

Debbie