Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

As a child, me and a friend used to pretend we were models and would train ourselves to walk around with books on our heads....not sure if it did any good though!

Didn't everybody watching take the mick?

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

I didn't go to a finishing school - well you can imagine - I lived on a council estate. However my mother believed deportment was very important and taught me to walk around with a book on my head. I have oftentimes thought of using this skill in the library, but thought it may attract odd looks.

As anachronistic as it sounds now, I was also told that if as a young woman I should choose to smoke, then it was terribly impolite to walk along the street with a cigarette and that the done thing was to sit in a cafe where an ashtray would be on hand.

Eating in the street, drinking as you walk along.....this imo is etiquette. (both of which i have broken) Etiquette exists for a reason,a good one.....but its not as important as having good manners towards others. Sometimes the two are the same....eating on public transport is poor ettiquette because its selfish towards other people who either have to endure smell, or who are hungry and made feel worse by your food.

I was always taught that the test of good manners was the tolerance of other peoples lack of good manners. I fail at it often, far too often. But, honestly, i don't really mind how a guest holds a fork at my table, so long as they are happy and other people sharing the table with them are happy...so, eating with your mouth closes is more important than the right fork to me. I know however, that i would hope i behaved with reasonable manners more often than not. Not because i care what people think of me, but because i care how the peoPle around me feel.

SingleSue

PasturesNew wrote: »

Didn't everybody watching take the mick?

They couldn't see us in the bedroom....we would have been too embarrassed!

chewmylegoff

PasturesNew wrote: »

That sounds interesting! I could sit in the car park with some sandwiches all week then.

Only the CEO's car is allowed in the car park I'm afraid, and you cant walk in there without a staff pass. You could sit in the canary wharf shopping centre car park though.

chewmylegoff

lostinrates wrote: »

Eating in the street, drinking as you walk along.....this imo is etiquette. (both of which i have broken) Etiquette exists for a reason,a good one.....but its not as important as having good manners towards others. Sometimes the two are the same....eating on public transport is poor ettiquette because its selfish towards other people who either have to endure smell, or who are hungry and made feel worse by your food.

I was always taught that the test of good manners was the tolerance of other peoples lack of good manners. I fail at it often, far too often. But, honestly, i don't really mind how a guest holds a fork at my table, so long as they are happy and other people sharing the table with them are happy...so, eating with your mouth closes is more important than the right fork to me. I know however, that i would hope i behaved with reasonable manners more often than not. Not because i care what people think of me, but because i care how the peoPle around me feel.

I find cutlery "rules" to be one of the most ridiculous conventions ever. I'll use the fork in the most efficient way possible and I don't care if someone else gets upset about me scooping up peas with the fork the "wrong way up" (although I understand noone wants to see me licking my knife, or worse still, plate, in public).

In the same vein I am glad that the "no elbows on the table" rule appears to be slowly dying.

chewmylegoff

SingleSue wrote: »

that they are able to talk to him without him doing the normal teenage boy thing of "Eurgh! Don't want to know about your periods or boy troubles!"

Teenage boy thing? Nah just general male thing I think!

I think it is probably because his father has not had a lot to do with his formative years, ex hubby would snort and ridicule him for what he does as he would have the view he is not being a proper man and should only be trying to get into their knickers instead of talking to .

lostinrates

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Teenage boy thing? Nah just general male thing I think!

Chewy, you might enjoy the mooncup thread. :A

chewmylegoff

lostinrates wrote: »

Chewy, you might enjoy the mooncup thread. :A

I have a feeling that I do not want to know what a mooncup is.

Generali

chewmylegoff wrote: »

I have a feeling that I do not want to know what a mooncup is.

I'm perfectly happy to discuss lady stuff no matter how biological things get and on that basis I guess that you are right, you don't want to know what a mooncup is.

Do not be tempted by Google. You will regret it.

lostinrates

chewmylegoff wrote: »

I find cutlery "rules" to be one of the most ridiculous conventions ever. I'll use the fork in the most efficient way possible and I don't care if someone else gets upset about me scooping up peas with the fork the "wrong way up" (although I understand noone wants to see me licking my knife, or worse still, plate, in public).

In the same vein I am glad that the "no elbows on the table" rule appears to be slowly dying.

I use my fork ' american style' often enough, leaving knife on the plate. I find it very hard to eat with my knife in right hand and fork in left. In an informal situation i will swap them to my more natural position, to save me oncentrating to hard.

I saw come fine with me while a woman was critising someones table manners, with her elbow on the table, made me chuckle. Two fails equals a pole in the eye a far as i am concerned! I too rest my elbow on the table, particularly when my back is bad, as it just helps my core support the whole failing thing while i sit on a hard chair.:o:o

Once, the elbow rule made sense...Now we tend to eat fewer round a table so unless in cramped restaurant or for enforcing the discipline to make it a habit in a young or personally undisciplined soul, it seems less important to me. If you are close enough to bother someone or block them out with an arm, then it is still, imo, terrible manners, not because of 'etiquette' but because of why the etiquette existed: it impinges on someone else.