do you put a gift list in with evening invites?

sugarwalsh

A gift list shouldn't dictate what your guests get you. It should simply assist those who don't know what to get.

Em88

anibell wrote: »

We're not getting married to get free stuff, we're getting married because we've found the person we want to share the rest of our lives with :j

I doubt many people (or even any) get married 'to get free stuff' as you put it and I think it is unfair to suggest that those using gift lists are only getting married to get the items on it. Most guests will want to bring you a gift to celebrate your marriage and a gift list is simply a way of making it easier for them to decide what and make sure you don't get multiples of items such as toasters.

anibell

I don't mean to offend anyone and I agree with your point that it makes it easier for some people. The comment wasn't directed at anyone on here and was part of a conversation with a family member......I unfortunately have a sister-in-law that wanted to get married for this very reason......needless to say she didn't get what she wanted from me!

Sorry.........

Mupette

Well me and the OH have 2 of everything already so we set up a B & Q wedding list so that those who want to can chip in towards future diy plans.
BUT no one is forced to

White_Sapphire

I think that the trouble with leaving people to contact you to request a gift list is that, unless you have a very small guest list, you will spend a long time dealing with requests for a copy of the gift list! So just for the sake of convenience both for the couple and their guests perhaps it's better to just make the list available straight away. Most guests expect some sort of gift list, and to be honest I'm very surprised to read that anibell has never been to a wedding where the couple have provided one; I don't think I've ever been to one where there wasn't a gift list of some kind.

rohitash2

I think it would be better that you keep a gift with invitation. It looks beautiful, really.

sugarwalsh

White sapphire, I was surprised too. In fact, I am always surprised by the reaction gift lusts get on here. When I go to a reception I am receiving the new couple into their. Ew life. I want to welcome them with a gift. If they ha e asked for something specific i will try get it unless i have something else in mind. I see no problem at all with them giving some thought into what they want.

anibell

There will always be a difference of opinion with this subject....some people like them and some don't. I wouldn't want to stop anyone having one if that's what they want. Looking back on my post my opinion probably came across as fairly harsh and for that I apologise.

In answer to OP's question....if you're doing a gift list I wouldn't put one in with the evening invites, I would only do it with the day invites

I have honestly never been to a wedding where there's a gift list.

myconosray

Wow - I never realised people have such strong views on this topic ( Which obviously they are completely entitled to have!)
Personally I dont think it is rude to put a gift list or request in an invite I went to three weddings last year and they were very helpful as I did wish to buy gifts for them and am glad I was able to get the something they needed. I think this is the case with most people attending weddings - certainly if you are there for the whole day. It goes in with all the other information guests will need for the big day like directions and dress code and dietary requirements. Or at least thats where I expect to see it. I might be less inclined to send it with the evening invites. But if I wasn't getting separate invites done I wouldn't stress about having it in there. There is so much else to stress about!

In all the cases Ive seen though the message was simple and very polite : that the bride and groom were really just happy to have people there to help them celebrate but IF and only IF we would like to give them a gift then this is how we could. I never once felt forced to buy a gift.

duchy

It's all personal..............There are some brides (and grooms ) who genuinely wouldn't care if not a single guest brought them a gift and it is all about sharing their day............and there are others whose reaction would be anything from slightly miffed to mortally offended if a guest didn't give them a wedding gift.

Oh and I loathe those poems too and on principle won't give money as a gift in those circumstances but don't have any problems with a list even if some of the items are vouchers-although I do think it's classier to put it on a website along with useful things like directions -available hotels etc and just enclose a slip of paper with the link to it on there.
Part of my problem with the money thing is when I worked at a travel agent and they had asked to be gifted money for a holiday and we held the list-some of the brides (and mothers of the bride) wanted to know who had contributed how much and made various comments about who was generous and who was stingy in the middle of the shop -Talk about tacky-made my skin crawl.