Transgender Help

heretolearn_2

'most people will spend their entire lives having never met a trans person', - is that really true though? I can't help feeling it must be a lot more common than people realise as I've met quite a few, and I live a pretty quiet little life in a quiet little suburb, not in the middle of anything where you might expect to meet them. Anyway, in many cases you would never realise they are trans. I've had an ex-boss turn into a woman and invite me to his coming out party, used to go to a pub where one of the barmaids was quite probably trans, had a trans woman in my group on a residential course (she told us all about it), been to a party where an ex-colleague of OH was now a trans woman, and I know fairly well a female to male where you definitely wouldn't have the slightest suspicion if you just met them. So in my little life that's 5 trans people I know of, plus presumably some I didn't know about...it can't be that rare after all!

robpw2

Person_one wrote: »

The idea that employers don't discriminate is a bit silly. Even on the employment board people proudly admit that they don't hire women of childbearing age in case they take maternity leave. People with disabilities and chronic illnesses face all sorts of barriers getting into work.

tell me about it ,

gwhizz75

I imagine that in the case of the OP's friend, she probably mentions it so that it doesn't become a big elephant in the corner that everyone is scared to talk about. I don't mean this in an offensive way, but for a lot of transwomen, especially those who are at the start of their transformation so to speak (no surgery, hormone treatment etc), it is quite obvious that there is something "different" about them. It's not just how feminine they look, but also the voice, their height, build, make up etc.

I think if I were in that situation, I would kind of just want to put it out there so we didn't have to skirt around the issue and have all the "is she, isn't she?" questioning looks. Some employers might be glad to know that the individual is happy to talk about it and be open about it, it shows a confidence and makes them seem comfortable in their own skin. No, an employer doesn't have the right to be told, but let's face it - they probably know upon meeting the individual anyway so if they are going to discriminate, they are going to discriminate regardless of whether the issue is discussed.

I probably wouldn't recommend putting it on their CV, although again can see why they would want to get "the reveal" out of the way. I suppose there is also the argument that if someone doesn't interview them because they are transgender, they would be unlikely to give them the job after an interview, when they have realised that they are transgender. A bigot is a bigot at all stages of the recruitment process...

jhgkp

Thank you for your kindness. I am just concerned for her as she is feeling really down with losing her job. She came out not long after and so her references are all in male names. Doesn't how to contact people from past to let them know.

She passes as a very good female - a few people have made that comment to her. We did an evening class together not long in coming out in beauty and alot of the other girls in class said they wouldn't of known.

She wonders is it not illegal to tell lies on your CV. If she just puts female on application and they write for references to find out you were male (even the police check, which a lot of companies now do), what happens then? She doesn't want to get into a job and then get turned down later because she lied.

Once again thank you all for your opinions - it is nice to know there is nice people out there - not all predjueduce.

PS We did watch trans sexual summer and it made her cry - only time I have seen her cry.

Emmzi

She isn't quite comfortable yet, is she? She needs to know that describing herself as female is the right thing to do and not a lie!

The easiest thing to do is contact old employers by letter or email and inform them of the name change. And ask if they are still ok for references. The good ones will reply, and then she will know. Knowing, is better than worrying and guessing.

Gingham_R

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I can't imagine at what stage in an interview this would be an appropriate remark to make!

I think it's important to be honest. If she's going to be turning up to work differently to how she appears at interview, I can see why she'd want to mention it before hand.

And with references being in her previous male name and this being relatively new to her, I can see why she'd want to go to interview dressed as a man, though that may give a false sense of security.

My ex's best mate is a male to female transexual. Immediately, knowing someone has been through all that would put the person in the 'interview' pile for me, because I have a small idea of how strong a person they must be, but I know that doesn't apply to every employer.

I'd be happy to look over her cv if you want to pm it to me - delete personal details like name, address etc.

FatVonD

I don't think she should be mentioning it on her CV and it wouldn't cross my mind to put my gender on my CV either, though I have a name that is obviously female. Has she chosen a name that could be either male or female or the feminine version of her old male name? Could it be shortened to be either?

Things are tough in the jobs market for everybody at the moment, I remember reading somewhere that if an employer is overwhelmed with applications they choose who to interview by eliminating people to get the applications down to a more manageable number and never to put anything on your CV that could be used to eliminate you.

Has she considered temping work? I've always found it easier to get jobs once I have a foot in the door.

thegirlintheattic

heretolearn wrote: »

'most people will spend their entire lives having never met a trans person', - is that really true though? I can't help feeling it must be a lot more common than people realise as I've met quite a few, and I live a pretty quiet little life in a quiet little suburb, not in the middle of anything where you might expect to meet them. Anyway, in many cases you would never realise they are trans. I've had an ex-boss turn into a woman and invite me to his coming out party, used to go to a pub where one of the barmaids was quite probably trans, had a trans woman in my group on a residential course (she told us all about it), been to a party where an ex-colleague of OH was now a trans woman, and I know fairly well a female to male where you definitely wouldn't have the slightest suspicion if you just met them. So in my little life that's 5 trans people I know of, plus presumably some I didn't know about...it can't be that rare after all!

I have only met trans people from being part of an organisation that works with people who identify as LGBT. Before that, and since then, I have never met a trans person that I did not know from that organisation. Similarly when I was talking about trans people to a large group of people I know from university (different ages/backgrounds/hometowns), only one had met a trans person.

I agree that it is more common now than it might have been 10-20 years ago but it is still a very small number of people we are talking about in a very large population. So I think it is more than likely many people have not met a trans person, (and realized it) or have only met one in passing and so don't understand the correct terms.

Tropez

As others have said, leave it off the CV. Rightly or wrongly (mostly wrongly) some employers will believe that people who disclose personal information such as sexuality or being transgendered on a CV are seeking special treatment or are somehow likely to try and exploit anti-discrimination rules and they just don't want the headaches. It is based on ignorance, no doubt, but some employers can be quite fearful.

thegirlintheattic

jhgkp wrote: »

Thank you for your kindness. I am just concerned for her as she is feeling really down with losing her job. She came out not long after and so her references are all in male names. Doesn't how to contact people from past to let them know.

She passes as a very good female - a few people have made that comment to her. We did an evening class together not long in coming out in beauty and alot of the other girls in class said they wouldn't of known.

She wonders is it not illegal to tell lies on your CV. If she just puts female on application and they write for references to find out you were male (even the police check, which a lot of companies now do), what happens then? She doesn't want to get into a job and then get turned down later because she lied.

Once again thank you all for your opinions - it is nice to know there is nice people out there - not all predjueduce.

PS We did watch trans sexual summer and it made her cry - only time I have seen her cry.

Still sounds like she is making a big deal out of it - why tell people in an evening class. This makes it sound like she is not confidant as a female - and this will not help in the long term. Those transgendered people I know have mainly stuck to the rule that if they wouldn't tell there sexuality in the context, then they won't disclose their status - only those your very close too or having a relationship with need to know. Hence I can't picture most of them walking into an evening class, even after a few months, and telling people they were trans.

I don't think I've ever filled in an application saying male/female - just the equal ops form that says that. She should put female as that is her chosen gender - she is self-identifying - it is not lying. She needs to contact her references and tell them she is now xxx and would prefer them to use that name for references. She needs to make sure ALL her documents are in her female name. The only time she needs to disclose (including with police checks) is when they ask if she has ever been known as a different name - in which case she needs to put down the male name. In which case she will need to answer honestly if the employer asks her about the different name.

Her main problem will arise if she is not living full time as female and so, for example, turns up at a interview as a man but has her CV as female.

She will not get in trouble by saying female, although she was born male. The only time I can see it becoming a major issue is if she works in areas such as care where they are employing someone of a specific sex for the role (when I used to do personal care it was female for females and males for males). I'm not sure if in that case they would take biological gender into account. To be sure she would need to take to a union/professional body for clarification.