ex partner wants half my benefits for my son???

Sixer

skibadee wrote: »

OP I've just noticed you say you are single parent of 3......are all 3 children your ex's?

That's what I thought. I inferred only two of the three children were the ex's as the ex doesn't pay maintenance for the autistic son but does pay maintenance for one of the other two children.

OP: is that right? Or have I misread?

If it is right, then your ex should be paying you 20% of his nett income (for two children), less 3/7ths of that 20% because he has them (or at least one of them) three nights per week.

So, for every £100 he takes home per week:

20% of £100 is £20. Less 3/7ths of £20 is £11.43.

So don't be bullied into anything else.

thefuturemrsjohnson

Dognobs wrote: »

So what does she do with the surplus cash she has not looking after her son for 3 days a week?

dognobs, if you read it properly, you would read it says my rent for a 3 bedroom house is only half paid for, i have to pay the rest out of my income support, the child tax credit and the child benefit.so no, i dont spend it on crap as you imply, i would simply be better off financially if i did have a 2 bedroom, but i am not that selfish to go down that road so my son cant have a bedroom here to feel like more of an outsider than he already does due to his autism, so get off your bitter !!!! and help people, thats what this forum is for, not for twisted people to try and make their miserable lives seam better by trying to drag others down to the low level they are obviously at.
ahhhhhhh, amen !!!!!

thefuturemrsjohnson

skibadee wrote: »

OP I've just noticed you say you are single parent of 3......are all 3 children your ex's?

hi there, no my first is to someone else, whom again, i decided not to go to the csa about, as i never wanted to do that, he gives £25 a week to me, mutual desision, the csa told me i could get much more due to his high paid job, but i dodnt want to have the hassle of him abusing me even more like he use to, so i left it as it was. xx

thefuturemrsjohnson

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Does he have to pay for childcare given he obviously works?

It does seem unfair you are claiming everything and now trying for carers allowance yet the child is in anothers care for almost half the week.

the reason i am on benefits is because i cant work, due to him needing 1 on 1 care, they told me at job centre last time,that if i got a job i would need to pay 6 times the amount for a child minder for the holidays, as his care needs cant be shared with 5 other children as they usually have, and i cant get help for this payment, which would be £60 an hour, silly really. but they said they would still have to put me on jsa even tho i cant get a job because of this. and the only way i can stay on income support is to get carers money for my son.

i could easily get a job and have my other 2 with child minders, i would love to, but i cant get him looked after, so i have to live on these benefits, unless i get a job school hours, which they have searched for and still are for me, yet he is off allot and sent home allot due to his outbursts, and a special school wont accpet him until his 2nd assessment which is a 18 month waiting list or 5k private. so i could hold down a job yet anyway having to go for him at school hours to calm him and bring him home, his is only the start of it. just to give u a picture. xxxx

so no, his father works full time, he comes for him at 6pm for over night, the nights he is there, drops him off for 8;30am at school and goes to work. he hasnt taken any holidays this last year, apparently, so hasnt had time off in the school hold to take care of him then too.

suelees1

I wouldn't give those posters who like to take the moral high ground the the time of day thefuturemrsjohnson. People who live in glass houses......

thefuturemrsjohnson

suelees1 wrote: »

I wouldn't give those posters who like to take the moral high ground the the time of day thefuturemrsjohnson. People who live in glass houses......

i know, thankyou, i just got so mad, and wanted to tell them the reasons, and not have them thinking i am in it for the money, i am scared and needed advice, which i thought this forum would do, i would never dream of been so cruel like them,,,lol,, glass houses.
thankyou xxxx i wont reply no more, i feel better now i have got it off my chest xxx

emsywoo123

thefuturemrsjohnson wrote: »

i know, thankyou, i just got so mad, and wanted to tell them the reasons, and not have them thinking i am in it for the money, i am scared and needed advice, which i thought this forum would do, i would never dream of been so cruel like them,,,lol,, glass houses.
thankyou xxxx i wont reply no more, i feel better now i have got it off my chest xxx

quick question (it will affect room rate etc)....you have 3 kids now, and you are pregnant?
No dig, not having a go, just clarifying!!

GiveMeCake

You seem as though you're scared of your ex's. You should think about what's best financially for you, your children and your partner, not whether your ex's will get the hump if they have to pay more money towards THEIR children.

You have a legal right to have child maintenance from them and I would most definitely go to the CSA about the father of your 2 youngest. If he earns £3k a month you'll be entitled to probably nearly £1k a month which you could use towards maybe getting a helper in a few hours a week to give you a break from the 121 care. I would also tell your ex to go ahead if he wants to try and nab some of your benefits, he won't get very far.

My sister had problems with the father of her child and money. They had a mutual agreement of £200 a month, but he started giving a lot less, about £120 so she eventually went to the CSA and it was all sorted within a week and he was having to pay £350 a month which he still pays nearly a year later.

bestpud

Barneysmom wrote: »

The DLA is for the child's care/mobility needs, so neither parent is entitled to it or half of it, it belongs to the child.

marleyboy wrote: »

Perfectly put. We get DLA for our Son, and it stands to reason it goes to benefit his aid, whatever the circumstances.

It belongs to the son and should pay for his needs, but only during the half week he is with his mum... :cool:

Likewise the carers allowance meant for 7 days should go to the mother even though she only has him four days a week?

Maybe she should give 3/7 of it back to DWP?

sunnyone

suelees1 wrote: »

I wouldn't give those posters who like to take the moral high ground the the time of day thefuturemrsjohnson. People who live in glass houses......

There are many on this forum who claim to help benefit claimants professional op, this poster gives out the wrong advice time after time while claiming to be something she cant possibly be or the legal aid system is in even more trouble than we know!

Her sig was changed after other members complained.