ex partner wants half my benefits for my son???

thefuturemrsjohnson

currently single parent of 3 on benefits, my son age 7, has autism, he spands 3 nights a week with his dad, due to him needing 1 on 1 care, his dad earns 3k a month, i get 1 k for 3 children. i get no maintenance for my son, as his dad said i shouldnt be entitled to any as he is there 3 nights a week, i get £100 a month voluntary off him for our 5 yr old daughter.
he is now saying i should tell the benefits agency he is there 3 nights a week, so my benefit is deducted, and he wants half the benefits, even tho he doesnt need the money. the housing benefits i get are £450 a month, my rent is £600, so i pay the rest out of my income support and child tax credit etc, so we dont have lots left over to live off, but manage.

i am worried if i call the housing they will put me to a 2 bedroom rate, and not the 3 i get now. my son needs a bedroom to sleep in the other 4 nights, but my ex doesnt agree.

surely him not giving me maintenance for my son makes up for the mney he would get in benefits anyway?

we are currently going through the carers/ dla route, and he wants half of that too.

what do you think i should do?

qazitory

As he lives fours nights with you, wouldn't that mean your house is the main residence?

soupdragon10

Hi, he lives more with you than he does his dad, and as he doesn't pay anything in the way of maintenance I think it's a bit of a cheek myself.

Why not contact CAB (may be difficult as I know they are inundated atm). Also might be useful to ask what he might be expected to pay if you went to court and asked for maintenance. Maybe if he thinks you may go down the maintenace route he might back off.

thefuturemrsjohnson

thanks for the replies, my partner is moving in in june, but i will still be entitled to child tax credit, and child benefit, due to my partner on a low income. so only my housing benefit will change, not the other benefits, which he is wanting half of.
i think maybe, i should go to housing in june and explain, at least i cant loose the house then, as i will be paying the rent through my partners wage. until then i might have to ignore him and hope he doesnt mention it again.
getting married does not solve the problem.

Ladyshopper

Put simply, he isn't entitled to any of the benefits, and he should be paying you maintenance. I suggest you contact the CSA.

bored_at_home

oh dear thats an awkward one isnt it.
i dont see why you would get a 2bed allowance instead of 3 bed as hes in your home 4 nights a week and of opposite sex to his sister of 5, so you still now need 3 beds. isnt 5 years the cut off age of the youngest child where differant sexed children shouldnt be sharing a room?

i think i would inform the dwp and leave them to work out what you are both legally entitled to and what should be split for the childs use eg dla then there cant be any bad feeling over it between you.

Carl31

Ladyshopper wrote: »

Put simply, he isn't entitled to any of the benefits, and he should be paying you maintenance. I suggest you contact the CSA.

exactly this

the father will get a 'gain', if thats what he is after, due to the reduction in maintenance from the amount of nights his son stays with him

Always nice to see a father using his kid to try and make money :mad:

Dognobs

So what does she do with the surplus cash she has not looking after her son for 3 days a week?

clearingout

what Ladyshopper says.

My ex tried this. As long as you're receiving the Child Benefit and the children are living with you the majority of the time (which 4 out of 7 is), then you will be entitled to the benefits and you do not have to share them. The benefits people have better things to do than split them between parents.

If he's earning what you think he is, you need to go to the CSA to claim maintenance. For three children, you should receive 25% of his take home, minus an allowance for each night the children stay with their father.

suelees1

I deal with shared residence issues a lot and in many cases both parents are on benefits so for one parent to have all the benefit and the other none it can be very unfair. In this case it isn't as the child lives with you for the majority of the time and his father is working. You are entitled and he is not. He obviously doesn't know the law and is making empty threats. It doesn't matter what he tells the 'housing' as long as you hve child benefit the bedroom rate stays the same.

I'd also go along with the advice about child support

Don't let him bully you.

...and dognobs keep your less than helpful remarks to yourself

.

skibadee

Well by my calculations, you should be getting approx £90 a week maintenance, even with son spending 3 nights with dad..............personally I think its disgusting he's asking for a % of benefits when he doesn't even pay maintenance.
If you have 3 children there is no way you will only be entitled LHA for a 2 bed house, your home is the main residence for your son.