sexist swimming pool!! epic story

heather38

ahhh i'm so mad. yesterday my husband and i took our 14 week old baby swimming for the first time.
we took her into the baby pool and there was no one else in there. about 10 minutes later the pool manager came and asked my husband to leave as the time that we went was 'mothers' and babies only!! another lady came in and said that she didn't mind that my husband was there and would have liked to come with her husband as well. but they asked him to leave anyway!
the reason they gave was that there 'might' be some asian ladies coming. now i understand that they can't expose themselves to men and that's ok, but there was no-one else there when we went in, the baby pool can be seen from the main pool and the viewing gallery so they are exposed anyway. we were told we could go in the bigger pool but it's colder than the baby pool and i've no idea how they expected us to get in and out of it with a baby!!
my husband left to go back to work and i stayed another 10 mins. i was talking to the other mum there and she said that she had been going for 3 months and had never seen any asian ladies there.
the pool manager said that we could go to the play session later in the day and dads were welcome to that session but at 14 weeks i feel she is too young for that as it is aimed at toddlers and they have floats and toys in the pool. oh and they don't have any parents and babies swimming seesions only mothers and babies!!
they ruined a big moment in my daughters life and i'm so angry and had to get it off my chest!!

newMS

write to them and complain, ask for a written explanation from the manager and if its a local authority pool copy a letter to them too, i find that really harsh on your poor hubby missing out on fun times with baby, what happens if a dad is bringing up babe on his own ?????????

lisyloo

My own view is that I respect other people beliefs (religious or otherwise).

But it is the people with "special needs" that should be inconvenienced and not the population at large.
For example if Asian ladies want privacy then there should be a special session for them but THEY should have to go out of their way i.e. it should not be at peak hours.
If they want a special session then they should either book the pool privately or be allocated a slot an non-peak hours so that it does not inconvenience others.
As you say if the pool is in "public" use then spectators are allowed.

Polictical correctness gone mad.

I had a similar situation at a work gym that wanted "ladies only" sessions as some women didn't like exercising in fron of men.

My argument is that if they have special requirements then they can have a NON peak slot but they shouldn't stop the men going at peak hours.

amandada

I'll come back to this and comment once I've picked my jaw up off the floor!

liney

That's disgraceful. Did they refund you?

livinginhope

I think that is utterly ridiculous there are many stay at home dads these days,who probably feel lonely and isolated,babies swim sessions are a time for the parents and babies to have fun together and meet,chat with eachother,I can't see what an asian lady has to do with it?
Just out of interest,does the pool have male lifeguards? or are they banned too?
LIH

Zziggi

lisyloo wrote:

My own view is that I respect other people beliefs (religious or otherwise).

But it is the people with "special needs" that should be inconvenienced and not the population at large.
For example if Asian ladies want privacy then there should be a special session for them but THEY should have to go out of their way i.e. it should not be at peak hours.
If they want a special session then they should either book the pool privately or be allocated a slot an non-peak hours so that it does not inconvenience others.
As you say if the pool is in "public" use then spectators are allowed.

Polictical correctness gone mad.

I had a similar situation at a work gym that wanted "ladies only" sessions as some women didn't like exercising in fron of men.

My argument is that if they have special requirements then they can have a NON peak slot but they shouldn't stop the men going at peak hours.

At our local swimming pool they do run a women only session where men are not allowed in the building. This is aimed at the local muslim community. Even the lifeguards are women and then ban on men is upheld. However equally the swimming baths run EXACTLY the same thing on a different day for men where women are banned. Again this is aimed at the muslim community. However both these sessions are run at off peak times (5-6pm saturday men only, 5-6pm sunday women only). They are not funded by the council and are more expensive to attend these session than normal swimming. They are AIMED at the muslim community who are mostly asian round here and have particular religious and cultural sensitivities around body exposure but infact anyone is free to attend these sessions.

Personally i think the swimming baths & attendant handled it badly for the OP's husband and child, but in essence i don't think there is a problem with segregated swimming. But if you want special arrangements then you have to fit-in with off peak arrangements (as my local swimming baths arrange). TBH it is often finances. If they thinkthey can get more people to swim in general swimming sessions then they'll have these at peak times. However if you are living in a big asian area then they'll maybe run men/women only sessions at peak times. It's all a matter of finances.

heather38

i understand about exposing themselves but the pool do run men and women only sessions. the session was 12 till 1 which is lunch time and there were men in the main pool which you have to walk past to get to the smaller pool from the changing rooms, so to me the whole arguement is beyond rediculous (sp?). and one of the lifeguards was a man as was the pool manager.
i just galls me that my husband was asked to leave on a might and a maybe when he wasn't doing any harm.

iceicebaby

My sisters husband has this all the time. She works full time and he stays at home to look after their baby. Whenever he turns up at "mother and baby" anything, they look at him as if hes some kind of weirdo. Anything mother and baby should be called parent and baby.

Becles

Sometimes my boys school (Catholic) gets different holidays to the other schools. They were off once when all the other schools were in, so I decided to take them swimming while it was quiet, as they wanted to practise proper swimming not mess around.

Got undressed and got into the big pool and we started to swim when a lady called us over and asked us to get out. She said it was a ladies only session and my boys were not welcome. I can't understand why some ladies can be offended by small boys

They said we could go in the baby pool, but it's to shallow for my boys to swim in, and there were tiny babies in there so I don't think their parents would have been happy with two boys splashing around.

So we got a refund and went home.

The same pool once refused me entry as it was an over 50's session, but they said my Mam who was with me could go in. I don't understand why over 50's need their own session either.

I've since checked before I went to make sure that I was allowed in at the time I wanted to go!

frivolous_fay

These confrontations are all really stupid. If staff let you in in the first place, it seems extreme to then throw you out again.