17 years old, pregnant...

EllaBeagle

balletshoes wrote: »

i have to say, if thats Mupette's post you're referring to, it surprised me as well that someone who is 4 months pregnant wasn't considering working until the baby was 1. OP hasn't said anything about she can't work, just that she's not intending to. I was in my 30s when I was pregnant, and working full time. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't work because I was pregnant. Most working women are in their workplace doing their job until about a month or later before their due date.

of course there are women who really struggle and are very ill through most of their pregnancies, i'm not denying that. I'm just saying that OP hasn't alluded to anything like that. babies cost money, so if she can, best she gets out there and gets earning, even for 2 or 3 months, until baby arrives.

OP I wish you well with your family, I hope it all works out.

So you was already in work when you got pregnant, was entitled to maternity leave until you was ready to go back to work. Unfortunately the OP isn't in this kind of position.

balletshoes

EllaBeagle wrote: »

Everyone saying 'oh I was at uni at your age blah blah ' SO WHAT?!? Its not all about you and your perfect, never stepped a foot wrong, life!

Life isn't perfect, we all do things we shouldn't do, but thats life.

To the OP, realistically, I can't imagine anyone is going to employ you being pregnant like so many people have advised you on here to work for 3 months. Finding a job is hard enough for a 17 year old, seriously people what makes you think she can find a job NOW where the employer is going to be fine about the pregnancy and allow her to only work for 3 months?

Realistically, by the time the baby comes you may still be living in the box room, which isn;t practical I know but unfortunately might just be the way it is. Get on your local housing associations register now, when the baby does arrive the health visitor will be able to help push things along by speaking to the housing association about your current situation.

Netmums is a good website for advice on stuff like this, with more understanding people who have been in similar situations, free and nearly new boards for baby stuff and there are some parent supporters, health visitors and professional people on there to give you advice too.

Hope this helps and sorry I can't give you any more advice. Good luck and I hope everything works out! x

i think thats why posters have mentioned temping to the OP - but like others have said about the social housing lists and getting herself on them - if she doesn't even try she won't know, will she?

balletshoes

EllaBeagle wrote: »

So you was already in work when you got pregnant, was entitled to maternity leave until you was ready to go back to work. Unfortunately the OP isn't in this kind of position.

i agree, and i do understand the OP is in a more difficult position - but does that mean she just shouldn't even try to get some earnings and work experience behind her?

merlot123

McKneff wrote: »

Come on you lot, some of you have made some nasty comments, some negative comments and some good advice.

The OP is little more than a child as i was when I had my first child,

As soon as I saw the title of this thread, I just knew what to expect from some of the posters.


I too think many of you are giving this OP a hard time, yes, she is pregnant at 17 years old, but for goodness sake, she said she didn't plan it. What is done is done, support and advice is what she needs from here, not others saying they were at uni working their butts off, some are not fortunate enough to be able to go to uni for one reason or another.

I too would doubt she will get a job, even a temping job being pregnant, so many other people to chose from, why would they take a young girl who is going to need time off for anti natal appointments, and maybe illness if she isn't as fortunate as some others to have a good pregnancy.

OP, I wish you well. If you really can't stay where you are for the time being, phone Shelter, they may be able to assist you.

merlot123

EllaBeagle

balletshoes wrote: »

i agree, and i do understand the OP is in a more difficult position - but does that mean she just shouldn't even try to get some earnings and work experience behind her?

I agree she'll need to work eventually when the baby is older and if she can find a job from now until the baby is born then brilliant but in the current climate its highly unlikely that she'll find something, no employer would touch a pregnant woman with a barge pole, you'd be lucky to find one that does!

For people who are entitled to maternity leave and have all that time to bond with their baby, still have income coming in, its easy to say she needs to go out and find work as soon as the baby comes along. Its not that easy for a 17 year old to have a baby, recover, get their head around the fact that they've actually had a baby, get to grips with looking after the baby, get over the sleepless nights and baby blues all in a few months, bung the baby in childcare and jump into a job. She's going to need time.

Her partner however can be looking for work/working to support them for the time being.

BitterAndTwisted

She's only 20 weeks pregnant. Some women don't show at that stage, so there may be no need for an employer to think that she's only be working for them for five minutes. Temping is what has been suggested and that's exactly what I think she should do.

No-one is going to hand over a lump sum large enough for a private rental in Sunbury even if there were any decent landlords who would take a chance on people so young and offer them somewhere with no credit-history, no references and no earned income.

It's going to be extremely hard and in ways this young person may not have a real understanding of right now. It won't be long.

Ravenlady_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That's completely wrong.

As a couple they're eligible to claim the LHA for a 1 bed flat and, when the baby's born, they'll be eligible for the 2 bed rate.

The under 25 rule of shared accommodation is only for single people and goes up to 35 this year anyway.

It would be nice if you could quote my entire reply as I did make it clear it had been a while since I enquired, LHA rules in my area do not make allowances for children under 1 though so they may only still get 1 bedroom rate after the baby is born.

mummyoftwomonkeys

good luck to you hun hope he finds a job soon, all you can do is keep trying. We went to the council for help when we were about to be made homeless and the best they could offer was a lone for a deposit. You have to remember too that if you rent through an estate agent they also do a credit check and charge you for that too well they did the last time we tried to rent through one anyway. They wont want to rent to you if you have a poor credit history. Been there! the only way we could get our last place was buy giving them 3 months rent up front and the deposit

balletshoes

EllaBeagle wrote: »

I agree she'll need to work eventually when the baby is older and if she can find a job from now until the baby is born then brilliant but in the current climate its highly unlikely that she'll find something, no employer would touch a pregnant woman with a barge pole, you'd be lucky to find one that does!

For people who are entitled to maternity leave and have all that time to bond with their baby, still have income coming in, its easy to say she needs to go out and find work as soon as the baby comes along. Its not that easy for a 17 year old to have a baby, recover, get their head around the fact that they've actually had a baby, get to grips with looking after the baby, get over the sleepless nights and baby blues all in a few months, bung the baby in childcare and jump into a job. She's going to need time.

Her partner however can be looking for work/working to support them for the time being.

i was thinking more of right now, trying to get temp work now, as the OP would prefer to move in the next couple of months and start buying things for baby. i have no issues at all with women who take as much time as they need to once they've had their baby, to decide what they want to do regarding going/not going to work. of course the OP is going to need time to make those decisions, once baby is here.

i'm not having a go in any way, shape or form at the OP. If she's decided, for any reason, not to work during her pregnancy, its nothing to do with me, and hopefully her bf will find work quickly and they'll be able to get together the money they need.

Darlyd

God i remember how easy it was for me when I was just 17 and pregnant. I love with my then bf in a one bed flat. He went prison I got a bedsit then found out I was pregnant. I got a 2 bed council flat within days. That was 13 years ago. All changed now.

Good luck op. Plenty of advice on here. X