17 years old, pregnant...

SingleSue

Ravenlady wrote: »

I suggest the young lady joins up to her local selling pages on facebook, they seem to be very popular right now and an easier alternative to ebay as its all free to list

Join up to freecycle too and preloved.

I picked up a 2nd cotbed for £20 on a selling page recently and daily there are bundles of maternity and baby clothes, bedding and prams going very cheaply

My sister in law picked up a fully working designer buggy system today for £4...yes £4 from a charity shop!

They also got (from the same shop) a moses basket with drapes and stand for a tenner. That one was brand new, still in the plastic wrapper and never been used.

Mupette

nemmernossage wrote: »

To the woman who worked oh so hard through her pregnancy and is shocked by those who cannot - did you ever think there maybe is a reason why we can't all be so perfect and feminist like you and have it all

erm hope this isn't me you are referring to, i am no way perfect or a feminist,
I just took the sugar coating off and told it like it is in the real world.

i worked all through my pregnancy doesn't make me perfect, i had no choice as we needed the money and there was no reason for me to stop, yes agree that some women can't work but the OP has not said anything about being ill to work, just couldn't work because she was pregnant.. its not the same.

This young girl needs to be told things straight, not sugar coated... she needs to know the facts and the truth.

lazy_girl

Have you thought about getting an appointment with the CAB?

If you're not on any benefits at the moment it might be worth talking to them about that and about your housing situation. They may be able to advise you on the best way forward.

Definitely get yourselves on the waiting list for social housing, even if it's not going to happen in time for the baby, something might come up in the future - if you don't try you won't get.

Do you have any involvement with social services or treatment for any medical issues (other than being pregnant?), that might be a way forward in getting your application for housing a bit more priority if your social worker/GP wrote some letters for you.

Also - do you have a children's centre near you? If you do - go and get yourself signed up. You and your OH are basically their target audience (i should know, I work for them ha ha). Ask about what support they can offer you. At the very least they should be able to assist you with applications for benefits and housing and employment advice, there will be free classes for you and OH to prepare you for the baby and they will run groups once the baby arrives for you to get out of the house and meet other mums.

Other than that, I know a box room is not ideal, BUT once the baby comes you will have your OH's parents there to give you a hand and advise you when you need it. Look at the positives there if you can, you and your OH are young and I think staying with his parents for the meantime need not be such a bad thing. and GOOD LUCK!

McKneff

Come on you lot, some of you have made some nasty comments, some negative comments and some good advice.

The OP is little more than a child as i was when I had my first child,

Stay with your 'in laws' for the moment, there will be support for you and the baby, you have no idea at this moment how much you will need this support. Say when baby is 3 months old and screaming the head off for hours and hours, you will be glad of some support then.
Accept your lot for now and be patient. Its hard when you want to be all grown up. Believe me if you lived in a mansion, the emotions would still be there.

I had my first baby at 17, lived with inlaws, they moved out to a live in job and the council transferred the tenancy to us. Very nice, it
seemed so at the time, but with OH working all hours, me stuck in a tiny village, baby screaming, no family within 100 miles, its not nice.

Here I am 44 years later, house of our own, no mortgage, few grand in the bank, working class and very proud of our children and 4 grandchildren, it will work out for you. Picture yourself in 10 years time and work on working towards that.

It will work out for you if you want it to but dont try to play grown ups too quickly.

My best wishes to you and hope it all works out for you all.

zoelouise88

Ah reading this sounded like it could have been me.

I was homeless at 16 and placed in a B&B moved in tih bf fell pregnant at 17. We were in a tiny room and his mum needed us out as she couldnt handle a baby there with her working hours and the room was too small we also shared a single bed :rotfl:

Ended up in a dirty B&B and i mean it was vile, blood in fridge, shared shower (roof falling down) no flush on shared toilet, door hangin of out room, stained sheets n matress, patio chairs to sit on - swear id rather have been on the streets.

Anyhow after a months we were given a council flat, we were also unemployed - once baby was born OH got a job.

This was a few years ago...but things have changed councils no longer house people as easily as they did with me.



My sister was homeless and also pregnant at 17 council wouldnt house her until she was 18 and until baby was born. So going to council saying your homeless wont work as for private rented most wont take anyone under 18 and also housing benefit will only pay for one room until baby is born. I think you are better of staying where you are and trying to save, depending on the house your in you may be classed as over crowding so would be a priority on the list ...also as you & your bf are living at his parents and you were to play the homeless card they would only rehouse you and would also want proof that you were no longer welcome under thier roof.

EllaBeagle

Everyone saying 'oh I was at uni at your age blah blah ' SO WHAT?!? Its not all about you and your perfect, never stepped a foot wrong, life!

Life isn't perfect, we all do things we shouldn't do, but thats life.

To the OP, realistically, I can't imagine anyone is going to employ you being pregnant like so many people have advised you on here to work for 3 months. Finding a job is hard enough for a 17 year old, seriously people what makes you think she can find a job NOW where the employer is going to be fine about the pregnancy and allow her to only work for 3 months?

Realistically, by the time the baby comes you may still be living in the box room, which isn;t practical I know but unfortunately might just be the way it is. Get on your local housing associations register now, when the baby does arrive the health visitor will be able to help push things along by speaking to the housing association about your current situation.

Netmums is a good website for advice on stuff like this, with more understanding people who have been in similar situations, free and nearly new boards for baby stuff and there are some parent supporters, health visitors and professional people on there to give you advice too.

Hope this helps and sorry I can't give you any more advice. Good luck and I hope everything works out! x

Amanda65

OP if there is not a medical reason for why you shouldn't work, I think you should seriously consider temping. I did it when I was pregnant with DD2 (had given up a business I was running as could no longer carry the stock around but we needed money) and although it was with a company originally for 6 weeks, they kept me on until 2 weeks before I gave birth and had me back as a permanent member of staff after DD was born. Your home study could be done at weekends /evening. I appreciate you will be tired but hey - rather that than bubba not having what they need.

You are not far from me and hopefully your OH won't be out of work for long as it's a reasonably OK for employment round here and his work experience should put him in good stead. Good luck and keep going.

Oldernotwiser

Ravenlady wrote: »

As a couple under 25 your are limited to a bedsit rate in regards of housing benefit or LHA, any more room and you will have to pay the excess. .

That's completely wrong.

As a couple they're eligible to claim the LHA for a 1 bed flat and, when the baby's born, they'll be eligible for the 2 bed rate.

The under 25 rule of shared accommodation is only for single people and goes up to 35 this year anyway.

tescobabe69

http://www.primelocation.com/uk-property-to-rent/details/id/NMML9844026/


Plenty of retail work in Brum

balletshoes

nemmernossage wrote: »

Just wanted to say: OP I hope it all works out for you.

I'm 24 weeks pregnant. I'm 27 and married and my husband has a permanent job. We are struggling to make ends meet! Who knows how we'll cope when the baby gets here - but we will

I think some people are trying to tell you (although not very delicately or eloquently) that yes the world is a scary place and yes things will be hard for your family but life is what you make of it.

To the woman who worked oh so hard through her pregnancy and is shocked by those who cannot - did you ever think there maybe is a reason why we can't all be so perfect and feminist like you and have it all? I haven't worked at all during my pregnancy because I struggled to even get out of bed on a morning! Not everyone is so lucky as you and some of us struggle through our pregnancies.

So, OP, ignore the cretins who have judged you (I notice none of them asked as to why you couldn't live with your own parents), take the advice of the people who talked sense and go for it! Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy the time with your family when your little one gets here

Good luck xxx

i have to say, if thats Mupette's post you're referring to, it surprised me as well that someone who is 4 months pregnant wasn't considering working until the baby was 1. OP hasn't said anything about she can't work, just that she's not intending to. I was in my 30s when I was pregnant, and working full time. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't work because I was pregnant. Most working women are in their workplace doing their job until about a month or later before their due date.

of course there are women who really struggle and are very ill through most of their pregnancies, i'm not denying that. I'm just saying that OP hasn't alluded to anything like that. babies cost money, so if she can, best she gets out there and gets earning, even for 2 or 3 months, until baby arrives.

OP I wish you well with your family, I hope it all works out.